Admittance is the first step, America
May 5, 2008 · Print This Article
Since Eve-101 (the show) will be dealing with the subject of addictions this week, I would like to speak candidly on 12 step programs for a moment if I could. You are undoubtedly familiar with these, yes?
Basically, you get a set of guiding principles to aid an individual through an addictive, compulsive or behavioral problem. Admitting that one has a serious, uncontrollable problem; recognizing that a higher (spiritual) power can help; inventorying and admitting character defects; asking one’s higher power for deliverance from these defects; making amends to those one has harmed; and helping others with the same problem are just some of the important steps you need to take. And of course you get support groups full of people like you, who understand what you are going through.
Here’s a list of some of the more…interesting 12 step programs I found, in addition to the ones we all know.
(Scan quickly, folks…there’s a lot of em…)
ADD-Anonymous - for people suffering from ADD
AAA - All Addictions Anonymous
Anti-Nutrient Addicts Anonymous (aka as Sucrose and/or Junk Food addicts anonymous)
BA - Borderliners Anonymous
CLA - Clutterers Anonymous
COSLAA - Codependents of Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous
DRA - Dual Recovery Anonymous
DA - Debtors Anonymous
DEA - Depressed Anonymous
DDA - Dual Diagnosis Anonymous
EA - Emotions Anonymous
FA - Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous
GSA - GreySheeters Anonymous
OLGA / OLG-Anon - OnLine Gamers Anonymous
PIR - Pagans In Recovery
Procrastinators Anonymous
RA - Recoveries Anonymous
SA - Sexaholics Anonymous
SA - Spenders Anonymous
SA - Schizophrenic Anonymous
SCA - Sexual Compulsives Anonymous
SLAA - Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous
SMA - Self-Mutilators Anonymous
SPA - Social Phobics Anonymous
SWA - Sex Workers Anonymous
VA - Vulgarity Anonymous
WA - Workaholics Anonymous
Okay, I admire anyone who is in the process of trying to better themselves…but aren’t we getting a tad overzealous here? (Anti-Nutrient Addicts Anonymous?!)
(I think most of America needs this group…)
I swear, I could probably attend a couple of these…couldn’t you?
Lets test my theory, hmm?
The following is from one of our friendly 12 stepping programs, The Sex Addicts Anonymous.
A Useful Tool for Self-Assessment
Answer these twelve questions to assess whether you may have a problem with sexual addiction. ( I’ll play along too, kids…so you feel safe and stuff…)
- Do you keep secrets about your sexual or romantic activities from those important to you? Do you lead a double life? ( Do you tell your mom and dad about your love for bondage? Because I am relatively sure mine don’t want to hear about it…)
- Have your needs driven you to have sex in places or situations or with people you would not normally choose? ( What, am I the only one that’s ever had sex in the bathroom of a party, or on the side of the road on a long drive? Liars!!)
- Do you find yourself looking for sexually arousing articles or scenes in newspapers, magazines, or other media? ( Who doesn’t look forward to the Victoria’s Secret Catalog?)
- Do you find that romantic or sexual fantasies interfere with your relationships or are preventing you from facing problems? ( Fantasies help me to STAY in relationships…is that so wrong? Wait…is it??)
- Do you frequently want to get away from a sex partner after having sex? Do you frequently feel remorse, shame, or guilt after a sexual encounter? ( Sometimes I just want a snack and a cigarette, jeez! )
- Do you feel shame about your body or your sexuality, such that you avoid touching your body or engaging in sexual relationships? Do you fear that you have no sexual feelings, that you are asexual? (Oh, come on…doesn’t everyone have fat days? Bloat is not sexy, lets be honest here.)
- Does each new relationship continue to have the same destructive patterns which prompted you to leave the last relationship? ( No, they each have their own beautiful and unique destructive pattern…that’s what makes them so gosh darn special!)
- Is it taking more variety and frequency of sexual and romantic activities than previously to bring the same levels of excitement and relief? (Wait…I thought it was NORMAL to want variety and spice in bed…what the hell?)
- Have you ever been arrested or are you in danger of being arrested because of your practices of voyeurism, exhibitionism, prostitution, sex with minors, indecent phone calls, etc.? ( Don’t we all like to have sex in alley ways sometimes, or is it just me? Wait…it’s just me?!)
- Does your pursuit of sexual gratification or romantic relationships interfere with your spiritual beliefs or development? ( Hell no, I always remember to praise and be thankful during my o’s!)
- Do your sexual activities include the risk, threat, or reality of disease, pregnancy, coercion, or violence? (I’m not STERILE…so I supposed there is always SOME kind of risk…and does the occasional smack on the ass count as violence?)
- Has your sexual or romantic behavior ever left you feeling hopeless, alienated from others, or suicidal? ( Well, it does suck to lose an orgasm…a lot! )
If you answered yes to more than one of these questions, we would encourage you to seek out additional literature as a resource or to attend a Sex Addicts Anonymous meeting to further assess your needs.
So according to this bad boy I might have a problem! Seriously??
Now, I don’t think that 12 step programs are bad, not at all. I have seen first hand how much help they can be to people fighting a serious addiction. But I do have just a few issues…
A. Is it too much of a good thing? What I mean is, does an organization lose a bit of clout when they are associated with things like Clutterers Anonymous??
B. I am a big believer in self reliance. I believe that no one is going to help me if I am not ready to help myself. But 12 step programs ask you to admit that you have ZERO power, to let go and let god, which brings me to issue…
C. The religion factor. This is a HIGHLY religious program, which is fine for those that want that sort of thing. But for those out there that are Agnostic, Atheist, or even those who do have spirituality but are just not Christian; is it fair that the biggest nation wide organization for addiction, the one whose programs are forced upon alcohol and drug offenders, is very much Christian based?
I don’t want to knock 12 steps, or anyone who has found their way back from a serious addiction with the help of one. I just think that when you live in a society that has a 12 step program for people who swear too much, perhaps it’s time to take a step back and examine what’s really going on. Do you really need a support group to stop saying fuck?!
Accountability, people!
What do you guys think? Have an opinion? Please, please, please…share with the class. Feel free to speak out for or against…I am taking no side here, really. I do find it rather interesting that we now have a 12 step for people that are addicted to 12 step though…wow.
On 05/5/08 at 5:28 am
Meghan said:
I’m sorry - the idea of ADD Anonymous is making me piss myself with laughter. A bunch of neatly dressed people constantly adjusting their chairs, glasses and hair and nobody talks about their affliction because they can’t focus on it long enough to remember why they showed up and… LOOK! Cookies!!
On 05/5/08 at 6:27 am
Trista said:
I have to admit, I;d like to check one out…that and Clutterers Anonymous.
On 05/5/08 at 6:55 am
the other Tori said:
they kinda go together ~~ many ADD ppl have “hoarding” and clutter issues ((yep its in my family i have seen it))
On 05/5/08 at 7:42 am
Trista said:
This might explain a lot about me…
On 05/5/08 at 9:40 am
Kevin said:
Well, being that I think the whole ADD label is complete bullshit in the first place, it doesn’t leave much for what I think about the 12-step program to cure it. Back in the day ::insert age warning here::, it wasn’t called ADD. It was called “hyperactive”. Yeah… I had it. And basically it meant that our WONDERFUL education system couldn’t keep me busy enough… therefore boredom set in… then trouble was made by yours truly. Took them a couple years, and a SHITLOAD of trip to the office by me… to get paddled…yeah, that’s right… until they finally thought, “Hmm… maybe he’s just smarter than the other kids.” And yeah… then I was labeled “gifted”. No more medications… and what do you know, I flourished in school from there on out.
So, while I do think people really have problems focusing on stuff… in my opinion, they’re just not multi-tasking enough. DO more… and you’ll lose focus less.
As far as 12-step programs in general? Yeah, they do help some. But I think just like my situation as a child, it only applies and is tailored for certain people. The rest? They get the label or forced into the “treatment” and it will NEVER do them any good. It’s just not for them.
On 05/5/08 at 10:26 am
Trista said:
I agree with you whole heartedly. While I do think that the attention span issue that is tied to television is a real issue, I also think that many kids are misdiagnosed too. We live in a society that believes in applying band aids instead of focusing on what is causing people to get hurt in the first place.
On 05/5/08 at 1:15 pm
Kevin said:
Definitely. As well, the current legal prescription drug boom is TOTALLY related to how quickly parents and doctors are, and have been, to prescribe a “quick fix” a la pills, as children. Makes me kinda sick to think about.
Also, some would say the exstacy (and other pills) boom could have been directly related to that. While I HAVE had my share of fun, I’ve never had an addictive personality, so I’m a bit thankful I don’t seem to have any lingering effects from being given Ritalin twice a day for a couple years in elementary school. Who knows how many people that sent down the wrong path, though.
On 05/5/08 at 1:16 pm
Kevin said:
Have I mentioned how I HATE not being able to edit my typos?? >.<
On 05/7/08 at 4:45 am
andrew goulding said:
That’s a Godawful story, Kevin…but apparently not that uncommon for ADD.
Often it’s also diet, lack of affection, lack of order etc.
I’m with Trista, though, turning the TV off is a great first step…but most of all, stay off Ritalin!
ADG
P.S. Bloggers Anonymous?
On 05/7/08 at 8:19 am
Trista said:
P.S. Bloggers Anonymous?
touche.
On 05/15/08 at 8:53 am
Melody said:
Dude! Wait… what?
And I can say that because my kid has ADHD. Life is an adventure!
On 05/5/08 at 5:43 am
Balancing Good & Evil Daily said:
I’m with you on the sexual addiction questions above. And as far as it being Christian, they aren’t actually. AA and NA both say to surrender to a higher power. They don’t actually say the Christian God has to be that power. I am all in favor of programs like this that work for people, but really, it has gotten out of hand!
On 05/5/08 at 6:25 am
Trista said:
They may be trying to adapt to more modern parameters, but their roots are definitely in Christian faith. I mean, look at the original 12 steps:
These are the original Twelve Steps as published by Alcoholics Anonymous.
1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His Will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
On 05/5/08 at 6:34 am
Trista said:
And Na took these exact 12 steps from AA, so they too began as a Christian faith based gig.
On 05/5/08 at 7:10 am
Balancing Good & Evil Daily said:
Well isn’t that just a pain in the ass. Having never been involved with either of them, I wouldn’t actually know, but that seems sort of silly. Oh well, Nymphomaniacs Anonymous here I come!
On 05/5/08 at 7:41 am
Trista said:
A lot of places have attempted to widen it to just accepting “some sort of higher power” and I think that is a lot better.
But most of them do still use the Serenity Prayer: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,courage to change the things I can,and the wisdom to know the difference.”
Shouldn’t you only be going to that meeting if you actually WANT help, hmmm B? =)
On 05/5/08 at 10:46 am
Balancing Good & Evil Daily said:
You know, with my muses not seeing me except once a year, I think I need it. And besides, if I can break the cycle, don’t you think it would be better? Then The Hawaiian might be enough for me!
On 05/5/08 at 12:47 pm
Trista said:
Your muses?
On 05/5/08 at 3:31 pm
Balancing Good & Evil Daily said:
You and Karri. After all, I only get to see you once a year in the summer at Teach’s house. Not that I wouldn’t mind seeing you both more, but it just doesn’t happen… so, I think I should try to break the cycle!
On 05/5/08 at 6:58 am
the other Tori said:
I have a friend who hosts NA and AA classes: he says its the religious part of it that kept him for sooooo long from getting help with his addictions he still has his beliefs but found that the 12 program still worked for his recovery at least so far
On 05/5/08 at 7:43 am
Trista said:
I think you can still make it work, but like you said, it turns non Christians off a bit.
On 05/5/08 at 8:54 am
razor said:
“as we understood Him” is in italics, the main point always stressed at meeting is Bill W.’s spiritual awakening came about because the he was given the opportunity to choose whatever he felt comfortable with as his higher power and that is the founding principle of AA which is the template for all 12 step programs. God can stand for Group Of Drunks, Good Orderly Direction, Gents Of Desire, whatever, as long as its not the person who is seeking help and failed to find it in self-reliance. If you have fought your problem for years and keep getting the same results and you have progressively deteriorated your life and those around you, then an alternative for self-reliance is necessary to affect the change that is necessary to stop the behaviour and repair the damage. Most people in these programs have exhausted every other resource to combat these situations and 12 steps are usually their last hope after years of suffering and pain. I remain an Atheist, I still pray, I don’t trip on where prayers go, cause I am at least outside my self for a moment and that is usually all I need to do the next right thing. As long as I take action and make myself of service to other people who suffer, my life gets better and so do those around me. I was not able to develop this consistency on a day to day basis until I discovered the 12 steps. That is as far as I can go in print about it.
On 05/5/08 at 10:10 am
the other Tori said:
Thank you for sharing this
many blessings and much strength to you as you carry on!!
On 05/5/08 at 10:14 am
Trista said:
I appriciate you sharing your experience here.
On 05/5/08 at 6:47 am
El Supremo said:
I have 12 steps… to getting hammered drunk. Things like:
STEP 4 - The apocalyptic beer
Up to this point, there has been no measurable effect from drinking. I am in a great mood. My sense of humor is honed to a razor’s edge. I smile more than is completely necessary. This beer is the one that triggers the apocalypse. If I drink this beer, things are going to start going tragically wrong. Without fail, I drink this beer.
On 05/5/08 at 7:44 am
Trista said:
I would be interested in hearing all 12 steps.
And is the apocalyptic beer brand specific, or is it a number thing, as in the 12th beer of the night type of thing?
On 05/5/08 at 8:28 am
El Supremo said:
My name should now link to the appropriate blog entry.
On 05/5/08 at 8:29 am
El Supremo said:
What in the name of douchebags?!? Why the fuck is some random assclown’s picture showing up next to my name?
On 05/5/08 at 8:32 am
Trista said:
hahahahahaaaa!
What the?
On 05/5/08 at 10:23 am
Sarahh said:
That is the funniest thing I have read all day.
And I thought NOT having a picture was bad…
Hahahahaha…
On 05/5/08 at 10:28 am
Trista said:
someone has stolen Primo’s identity!! Call the blog police!
On 05/5/08 at 8:38 am
Trista said:
that is a GREAT blog.
On 05/15/08 at 8:58 am
Melody said:
Random Ass Clown!?!?!? I laffed so hard I woke up my lazy cat! ROTFLMAO
On 05/5/08 at 9:48 am
Kevin said:
THIS… is the greatest comment ever. BY FAR! I will now steal your words, sir… and go print up a couple T-shirts.
AWESOME!
On 05/5/08 at 10:19 am
the other Tori said:
hysterical!
On 05/5/08 at 7:36 am
Sarahh said:
Catching up on the dream show.
I shall return..
On 05/5/08 at 7:45 am
Trista said:
You better return! I need company in here today…I am afraid Karri will not be in attendance today.
On 05/5/08 at 7:51 am
Sarahh said:
Ok, first off. YAY on asking my mushroom dream question. I get so excited!!!!!
Excellent interpretation too. I am purging my fungus. I can deal with that. The pores of my subconcious already feel spring fresh.
Second. I believe in AA, NA, and any group that helps people get their funk out.
BUT, watch out for the “FIGHT CLUB” folks. The people who have so many issues you have to cancel their subscription.
I wonder if they have a “Addiction Anonymous” meaning you have one too many addictions and that is your addiction.
Did that make any sense?
I need more coffee me thinks…
On 05/5/08 at 7:55 am
Trista said:
AAA - All addictions anonymous
and
RA - Recoveries anonymous.
Nuff said. People get addicted to addiction AND the recovery process. Stands to reason, I’d say.
And I am with you, anything that helps people get better. But I am also all for revamping the system to make it more accessible to those of any and all faiths.
On 05/5/08 at 9:11 am
Sarahh said:
I always wondered about that. Where does an athiest go who has an addiction? Do they have no place to go. I know that (or at least I think) AA and what not doesn’t say “God” per se, but a higher power.
But from what I have seen most take that as God.
What happens if you have no higher power?
On 05/5/08 at 10:30 am
Trista said:
this is my biggest hang up with the program. Well that and the helplessness part.
On 05/5/08 at 7:52 am
Sarahh said:
And where is Karri today? Unacceptable!
On 05/5/08 at 7:56 am
Trista said:
She needs to be in our thoughts today is all I can say…send your positive vibes her way!
On 05/5/08 at 8:02 am
Carol said:
I love how gracefully you answered here…just had to throw that in. You are right…she does need positive vibes today.
On 05/5/08 at 8:56 am
Sarahh said:
They are sent!!
On 05/5/08 at 9:08 am
Sarahh said:
Oh, and sorry. The “Where is she” oddly enough didn’t require an answer. More of an expression…
On 05/5/08 at 1:21 pm
Carol said:
Knew you were being rhetorical. Like you would dare really exclaim UNACCEPTABLE!!!
On 05/5/08 at 9:53 am
Kevin said:
Wait… what? That does NOT make me feel good. I’m hoping this isn’t as serious as you just made me think it might be.
:( 
On 05/5/08 at 10:21 am
Trista said:
let me clarify, karri is ok. But she did have a serious family emergency to attend to. Keeping her and her loved ones in Your thoughts today would be a good thing. I know she would appreciate that.
On 05/5/08 at 1:11 pm
Kevin said:
Whew! While that is still NEVER good to hear, on a personal level, I’m glad to hear she’s ok. But yes… my thoughts and well-wishes are DEFINITELY with her, her family and for all the best in whatever is or can be done.
On 05/5/08 at 7:52 am
Cassie said:
HMMMM, I think I might need the 12 stepper for swearing too much. I made a 19 yr old boy blush this weekend!! LOL
I am GLAD that those programs exists for those that need them…I think I’m just gonna remain in denial and just enjoy my life!!! lol
On 05/5/08 at 7:57 am
Trista said:
I am glad they are there as well, don’t get me wrong. The support system alone is invaluable.
And Cass, do you need Denial Anonymous, hmm?
On 05/5/08 at 8:20 am
Cassie said:
I might, but we’ll never find out!!! hahahahaha
On 05/5/08 at 12:59 pm
Trista said:
Zing!
On 05/5/08 at 7:52 am
Carol said:
Most 12-step programs were originated in a Christian-based faith. However, they do specify “God, as we understand Him”…and more often than not, you will hear HP or Higher Power.
I will say this…I don’t consider any twelve step program “RELIGIOUS”. I consider them to be spiritual programs of action. But, just because I have never seen a Christian-holic or God-o-holic meeting doesn’t mean they don’t exist.
Oh…and the power issue. I TOTALLY get it. But, what you are admitting is that without some higher power, you are, in essence powerless over XYZ addiction. If you were not powerless, it wouldn’t have power over you. Yes, I think sometimes it’s “too much of a good thing”. But, overall, I have to admit that the twelve steps vastly improved the quality of my life and my own SELF-awareness and SELF-RELIANCE.
On 05/5/08 at 8:02 am
Trista said:
Thank you for your 2 cents. And I do agree with what you are saying. AND I have seen the overtly Christian meeting…perhaps it was a location thing, but it did turn me off a bit. Higher power is much easier for me to get behind.
I do not resent this system at all, overall I just think that perhaps it needs some modifications to become more open to all.
And I think perhaps they are getting too overzealous with the creations of new groups.
Put down the knick knack on your own, people!
On 05/5/08 at 8:06 am
Carol said:
Ha…trying being in the middle of the freaking Bible Belt!
The core really is a spiritual program of action. You will hear that phrase, a bajilion times…because SOOOO MANY people can not get past numbers two and three on your list. You will also hear that RELIGION is for those who fear hell and SPIRITUAL is for those who have already been there. The big part is taking the action…owning it, sharing it and growing past it.
On 05/5/08 at 8:20 am
Trista said:
“The big part is taking the action…owning it, sharing it and is growing past it.”
~This I like, a lot. Because what else can any of us do?
And yes, I can relate to the BB…I was in Oklahoma for said meeting. A small place in OK at that. It was…special.
On 05/5/08 at 1:24 pm
Carol said:
<— been through OK…and uh…yes, very much short bus special. Not that anything is wrong with short busses.
Just my opinion, but any productive meeting will focus on the action and owning it parts. Too many addicts (of whatever) are soooo accustomed to blaming everyone and everything else for their misery. Until they own it, they really can’t heal, period.
On 05/5/08 at 8:02 am
CableGirl said:
Ok, I SO need to sign my husband up for the OLGA and me for OLGA. LMAO. There is seriously a gamers’ anonymous out there? Of course there is.
And I can’t imagine that there are too many meetings for the Procrastinators Anonymous. I mean, who the hell would organize them?
On 05/5/08 at 8:14 am
Trista said:
The first time someone’s eyeballs exploded during their 68th hour of World of Warcraft, I think that group was formed.
And yeah, I see that group as a problem, as well as ADD (who’s going to be able to sit through the meeting?) and Social Phobics ( no one would show up!)
On 05/5/08 at 8:31 am
Wallace Ritchie said:
I’m of the mind that religion can become an addiction for some people. I’ve seen many many a friend who may on one hand stop abusing drugs start to “abuse” religion. And once these friends stop going to church they find another addiction. I had a boy who totally became a devout catholic after a long battle with meth. After 3 years he stops going to church and swears that he’s “addicted to”(in) love. He doesn’t need church and he spends all his time with the loves of his life….. one after the other, no break in between. All being THE one. And not so recently I heard he is now a hardline vegan who tries convert people from the ills of animals and their byproducts. And he’s sinlge…..
I’ve yet to meet or have one of my friends stay sober off of a twelve step program or rehab alone. They needed to want to do it themselves. As for breaking addiction myself, I’ve done it through sheer will power. And a shit load of good old fashioned selfishness. I don’t drink because I’ve seen someone I loved die from it. I no longer smoke pot because I don’t need it to regulate my anger anymore(I have the funniest first time smoking pot story EVER!). I stopped smoking cigarettes because I wanted to lose weight(gained from drinking and having the munchies) and running 4 miles and then inhaling squares seemed too counterproductive.
On 05/5/08 at 8:37 am
Trista said:
“They needed to want to do it themselves.”
~You are exactly right.
I think 12 step can be a good place to go for support if you need it, and do not have it in your personal life. I have known many people who have stopped their destructive habits on their own, but some people need some hand holding and listening.
On 05/5/08 at 11:20 am
UncleGus said:
I personally have a problem with 12 step programs. While they can be good for some people, it all starts in the growing process. Before finishing the article, I was thinking in my head, but what about… then you wrote the word I was looking for right at the bottom… “ACCOUNTABILITY.” I have a real issue with people who lack this. Maybe it’s because I was always held accountable for my actions, and was told that everything bad that happened to me probably included something I did to myself. Whether I put myself in a situation I should have known was not one I should put myself in, or I said something I shouldn’t have said, or I did something I shouldn’t have done.
Now, that being said, not EVERYTHING happens because I helped cause it, but more times than not, I helped create a situation. Therefore, I had to claim my part in it, and decide whether or not I wanted to repeat that action or not. Too often, especially nowadays, people have no sense of accountability, and I have to say, it really pisses me off. “It wasn’t my fault that I cheated on you, I drank too much and couldn’t control myself…” Bullshit. “I was just so angry at you, I said that your m