Dick Speaks
September 17, 2008
We are going to try something new around these parts today, kids! Are you excited? Well, you should be. This shall be the very first addition of something we are going to call “The Minute Man.” Basically we have decided to let the men speak, because, well, we can all acknowledge that it was getting a little estrogen-y around here. So without further ado, I shall give the man the floor…
Today he will speak on whether you need to win over a woman’s friends in order to win her heart.
First of all, I want to thank my hosts here at Eve-101 for letting my penis floppin’ male self give you some testosterone-laced opinions mixed in with oodles of foul-mouthed diatribes usually reserved for Sailor “wanna-hump-hump bars” in Panama. Or The View. Take your pick.
And the fact that I just used the term “oodles” alone qualifies me as a writer on here, because that reeks of Estrogen and, hey, I’m comfortable in my own sexuality so I can admit that I might have a slight womanly side, like, say 1%. Whatever.
Now, I was asked to give some male perspective on the field of dating. There are lots of things that I can give you from the male perspective, and dating just happens to be number 94 on the list. So, you are in luck. I have a lot of chick friends that love to discuss their problems with me, like I am a goddamned relationship therapist who loves to listen to insipid shit ad nauseum.
Anywho.
The question in play here is simple: “Does a guy have to win over a woman’s friends in order to win at love?”
My answer: “What is love?” (And I don’t mean that 1993 Haddaway song that was the entire plot from the movie A Night At The Roxbury either.) I kid…I kid.
Seriously. In my opinion, not at all. Is it a good idea to get in the good graces of a woman’s friends? Sure. Is it absolutely necessary to have them in your favor to complete the sale? Nope.
We’ve all seen it time and again, ladies. That one friend of yours that is dating a total asshat with a tricked out ‘87 Escort and a penchant for douchebaggery (see: hat worn sideways, MySpace profile picture of himself in a mirror showing off his abs, etc.) Your friends cannot stand this dude, and with good reason. He is a dick. We all see it. Your friend does not. Yet she still continues to date him. Why? Because, when it comes to her heart and feelings, your opinion doesn’t mean diddly-poo. If anything, (especially amongst the scientific fact that 98.2% of a woman’s friends are actually nothing more than vicious, backstabbing pieces of used tampon matter), your disapproval of said doorknob is a signal in the eyes of your friend that you are jealous of the relationship and want a piece of that tiny crank and weak wallet. SHE is in love and SHE can change him. Stay the fuck out of it, bitch! *snap*
The 2% of her real friends may have an opinion, may even say “get out”, but will defer to the judgment of their friends to make the right call.
Us guys know this fact, and we therefore know that the only thing that matters in winning the heart of a woman is them. Doting on them. Loving on them. Trying to fuck…them. There is no need to worry about her friends, because in the end, her opinion only counts for useless shit above.
There you go, people. True pearls given to you in the form of an interweb Pearl Necklace, by a guy that has only been tolerated by a handful of women in his lifetime. Which goes to show you, I don’t really know dick.
But, I have one. And that means you already know I don’t know anything, right ladies?
Want to track Minute Man Matt down? You can find him HERE.
Who’s Robbing the Cradle Now?
July 31, 2008
Welcome to “He said, She said”, where we take a common question or topic and see if members of the opposite sex can get on the same page, or if they’ll have to agree to disagree.
Today’s Topic: In the world of dating…how young is too young?
How to make a sexual sundae…
July 23, 2008
Welcome to “He said, She said”, where we take a common question or topic and see if members of the opposite sex can get on the same page, or if they’ll have to agree to disagree.
Today’s Topic: One partner likes their sex simple, the other with a side of kink…can they both find satisfaction in their sex life?
The greatest male / female debate in the history of…modern plumbing
July 7, 2008
Welcome to yet another he said / she said. Yes…I know it isn’t the day for that, but you know what? It’s my birthday so we are doing what I wants today, m’ kay? And I want to talk about the greatest conflict that exists in male / female relationships to this day. Yes folks, todays topic is:
Should the toilet seat be left up…or down?
Going, Going…Gone?
July 3, 2008
Welcome to “He said, She said”, where we take a common question or topic and see if members of the opposite sex can get on the same page, or if they’ll have to agree to disagree. Today’s topic:
In a relationship, how do we know when to let go?
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