Cheating Dreams
May 1, 2008 · Print This Article
Yo Eve,
Not too many dudes asking about chicks around here, what’s up with that? The way I see it “Eve” knows more than a swinging dick in the locker room (which I’d lose my pass to if the word got out that I did this). But here’s how it went down.
My lady and I had a killer night out at the club. After getting our drink and groove on we went back to my pad and I rocked her world until she begged me stop. A few hours after she passed out she wakes me yelling out, “oh, Steve!” (That’s the dude’s name that banged her a couple of years ago.) I shook her and asked, “what the hell?” She said she didn’t know what I was talking about. I couldn’t get it out of my head so I slept on the couch. That was a month ago and I don’t even look at her the same, I think she’s lying about everything.
Eve, is my woman getting down with this other dude again?
Later,
Crashed on the couch
Yo-Yo Crash,
Dude, find your balls and lighten up! Seriously, how many different ways can I say “oh, Steve”? Let’s see there’s…”oh, Steve, watch out for the car!” And there’s also…”oh, Steve, I’m so disappointed in you.” Or how about…”oh, Steve, I’m so sorry to hear that your cat died.” C’mon are you really that insecure with your relationship that you’re now questioning her every statement?
I can’t believe you gave up the comfort of a comforter for the couch, that’s just silly. And childish. And, and, and…the list goes on. Rather than being concerned with weather or not your lady is a two-timer you might want to take a deeper look at why you would even wonder.
Listen Crash, there are dozens of dream hypotheses, but the one that stands true is that we can’t control what we dream about. So give your lady a break, let her rest in peace and get your ass back to bed where you belong. There’s no reason to harbor resentment towards her when she has no power over it. M’kay?
KISSKISS
LOVELOVE,
~Eve
On 05/1/08 at 2:52 am
~Lori~ said:
I have to agree with the reply, you can’t control what you dream or necessarily what they mean. They say that most dreams we don’t even remember, the ones we do we can drive ourselves crazy trying to figure out what they mean. My ex-spouse told me I did something similar, man did he pout over that, hell I didn’t remember. At the same time he dreamed something about me, woke up pissed off at me for the rest of the day. The fact is, you need to remember it is your bed she is in, take comfort in that, and let the rest just slide off your backside, it’s only a damn dream.
On 05/1/08 at 6:05 am
Karri said:
” My ex-spouse told me I did something similar, man did he pout over that, hell I didn’t remember.” DITTO! As if we intentionally thought to ourselves, “hey I think I’ll yell out another man’s name in my sleep tonight, that sounds like fun and good times.”
Spoiler Alert: Our guest tomorrow night over at TheStream.Tv is going to teach us all how to not only remember our dreams but interpret them also!
On 05/1/08 at 6:48 am
Chris said:
“Our guest tomorrow night over at TheStream.Tv is going to teach us all how to not only remember our dreams but interpret them also!”
.
And she’s gorgeous… but married.
On 05/1/08 at 6:51 am
Karri said:
What do you want from us, geeze! I got the woman to agree to wear her pj’s. Isn’t that enough?
On 05/1/08 at 7:04 am
Chris said:
Only if she uses the same pj’s I do.
.
Yeah, yeah, I know… there’s a visual you did not need! Mental image begone, mental image begone…
On 05/1/08 at 7:10 am
Karri said:
I wear flannel and socks…hawt, hu?
On 05/1/08 at 8:46 pm
Trista said:
What the f*** is a hawt hu?
On 05/1/08 at 8:54 pm
Karri said:
You need sleep…and sex. ASAP!
You say huh, I say hu…shutit!
On 05/1/08 at 9:21 pm
Chris said:
Hon, you could make a burlap sack hawt!
On 05/2/08 at 6:43 am
Karri said:
*warm n’ fuzzy* Not the burlap sack, my heart.
On 05/1/08 at 5:19 am
Meghan said:
You don’t always dream your diary. What the Christ?
No sex dreams for crash involving other women?? Doubtful. You know he’s rockin’ other fly ass chicken heads in his sleep.
On 05/1/08 at 6:08 am
Karri said:
I’d say Crash needs to check his ego and then his insecurities. The chance of that happening is probably doubtful also.
p.s.
Ms. Meghan…was the information forwarded to me from thestream.tv regarding the Lex Steele interview from you???
On 05/1/08 at 6:18 am
Meghan said:
Tip Jar?
On 05/1/08 at 6:23 am
Karri said:
GIRL!
Are you serious? That wasn’t a tip, that was a meal and a blow job. Trista doesn’t even know yet. WOW! Just…WOW! <THANK YOU!!! I will make sure to send you a lovely gift for your contribution to our existance. We have an extra Lex DVD…interested?
On 05/1/08 at 6:27 am
Meghan said:
It was either you or some organization that wants me to send a goat to a family in Indonesia ‘for to milk and prosper’. I chose you! I’m a giver. You can donate my Lex DVD to a local needy Sex Ed program!!
On 05/1/08 at 6:31 am
Karri said:
Don’t let Sarahh know that you didn’t support the goats.
Cookies, can I bake you cookies? And again, thank you, sincerely!
On 05/1/08 at 7:52 am
Trista said:
Meghan! That was too much! We starving artists thank you, from the bottoms of hearts.
On 05/1/08 at 6:02 am
Carol said:
Good advice…for both sides. I have a girlfriend who overreacted when some other woman’s name was mentioned in her man’s dream. Or nightmare. Like you said, you can ‘t control what you dream and it can always be taken a bajillion different ways.
On 05/1/08 at 6:13 am
Karri said:
I can understand that he’s a little butt hurt over it, but to stop trusting her because of something she couldn’t control is taking things too far.
How would you react if it were you? If your pretty little ears were subjected to another woman’s name while in your beloved’s nook?
On 05/1/08 at 6:17 am
Sarahh said:
There have been numerous times I have almost called Vic my ex’s name. This is mostly because I deal with the ex EVERY DAY. Maybe more. This is because of our son. So if it is on the brain it can happen.
And it was in her sleep for the love of STEVE.
Oh, and if I miss the dream person, ask them why I dream mushrooms grow out of my face. They look very shiitake like.
I shit you not.
On 05/1/08 at 6:26 am
Karri said:
I’ve actually forgotten boyfriend’s names. I’ll just stare at them blankly and the only name that comes to mind is an ex’s…that’s not right!
Mushrooms, really? Are there farm animals too? Or just your fungus like face? Sarahh, I am officially concerned.
On 05/1/08 at 6:55 am
Sarahh said:
It is as if I burned the right side of my face and when it peels little mushrooms are growing out of there.
I swear I couldn’t make this stuff up.
I think it was from that new Aveeno commercial where they claim they put shiitake mushrooms in their lotion… God I hope that is why I dreamed it.
EEK
*No goats were harmed in the making of this comment*
On 05/1/08 at 7:03 am
Karri said:
Favor request…you must re-post this tomorrow!
And if I start having dreams about turning into the ingredients in my products/procedures, I’m blaming you! i.e.: foreskin in my lips. Ya, I said foreskin!
On 05/1/08 at 7:16 am
Sarahh said:
What product do you use that has foreskin in it????
I always wanted “Pearl Cream” on the TV commercial. Pronounced Purr cweam.
On 05/1/08 at 7:29 am
Karri said:
Pick one, I’ve done almost all of them. I’m a freak like that.
http://www.dermanetwork.org/faq/faq_dermal_fillers.asp
On 05/1/08 at 8:50 pm
Trista said:
K, foreskin IN the mouth, lip gloss ON the mouth.
On 05/1/08 at 8:55 pm
Karri said:
F.R.I.D.A.Y!
On 05/1/08 at 9:23 pm
Chris said:
[singing]
My One Skin lies over my Two Skin,
My Two Skin lies over my Three,
My Three Skin lies over my Four Skin
My Foreskin hangs down to my knees…
On 05/2/08 at 6:45 am
Karri said:
Is this some childhood song that little boys sing? ‘Cause it’s kinda icky!
On 05/1/08 at 6:18 am
Cassie said:
hello there!
I mean, really? The guy’s a puss.
On 05/1/08 at 6:29 am
Karri said:
Good morning, sunshine! Not feeling so sugary-sweet this morning?
On 05/1/08 at 6:45 am
Cassie said:
NO..NOT IN THE LEAST!
On 05/1/08 at 6:50 am
Karri said:
Yes, I see that. I hope your day gets better! Anything we can do to cheer you up? Perhaps some naked jumping jacks from my FBF? It always works for me, and I’m sure he wouldn’t mind.
On 05/1/08 at 9:00 am
Cassie said:
HAHAHA
thanks, but no thanks!
that just caused mental pictures!!
On 05/1/08 at 10:29 am
Karri said:
Made you laugh! And I’m telling you…naked jumping jacks will cure whatever is ailing you.
On 05/1/08 at 6:23 am
Meghan said:
I’ve had dreams that involve everyone from the Coreys, to back hair guy at the beach, to my HS Volleyball Coach to Ron Howard’s creepy looking brother from Rock and Roll Highschool. Guess how many I’d like to fuck senseless.
On 05/1/08 at 6:33 am
Karri said:
I haven’t had a sex dream in so long that I’d be happy to have nocturnal sexy time with a Corey or two.
On 05/1/08 at 6:37 am
Meghan said:
Avoid, Haim, Go with Feldman. Getting Hep C can totally ruin a good sex dream.
On 05/1/08 at 6:48 am
Karri said:
Oh those “H” diseases…the gifts that keep on giving.
On 05/1/08 at 6:58 am
Meghan said:
Hep. Herpes. Halitosis. Head Lice. Haim.
On 05/1/08 at 7:03 am
Karri said:
EEEEWWWWWWW!!!
*shudder*
On 05/1/08 at 7:00 am
Trista said:
Corey Haim asked me out on a date a few months ago…sigh…I blew it, not him, my chances. I hear he’s getting married now.
I could have bagged a Lost Boy.
On 05/1/08 at 7:04 am
Karri said:
OMG! That was a fiasco! OY!!!
On 05/1/08 at 7:17 am
Meghan said:
Wow! I watched the ‘Two Coreys’ on A&E and I was a little concerned..for ME, because I was watching the ‘Two Coreys’ all summer, not for him necessarily.
On 05/1/08 at 6:25 am
mel said:
My man talks in his sleep and I’ve woken him up and He’ll ask me what Im talking about… One time I got out of the shower and he was just laying there, and I kissed him on the cheek… He then asked said “why didnt you knock” I was like what? He then repeated it. I said Why would I have to knock, its my house, my room. He got louder with WHY DIDNT YOU KNOCK… I then touched him and he finally woke up and I was like what the hell are you talking about… He was like What? I said why would I have to knock… He then gave me a puzzle look and was like you are freaking me out, why would you knock… I started laughing… well next time I kissed him, he said well at least I didnt ask you why you didnt knock… Some people talk in the sleep, some more than others. BUt geez she is ASLEEP. Stupid people get mad at Stupid things… get over it!!!
On 05/1/08 at 6:36 am
Karri said:
You just gave me a bad flashback…my ex-husband used to have conversations with me when I’d talk in my sleep and he’d fuck up my dreams by asking me questions. Eventually I’d wake up and be pissed! For the love of gawd…let us sleep in peace!!!
On 05/1/08 at 6:53 am
mel said:
Well I didnt mean to give you a bad flash backs… but people need to realize if we are not fully aware of what is going on, we are more than likely not going to remember it… Just like when we are shit faced… you can ask us about a conversation we had, and we dont have a clue as to what you are talking about… Just leave us in peace…
On 05/1/08 at 7:18 am
Karri said:
No worries. I will however be calling him to today to remind him how mad that used to make me…ha! And then I’ll interrogate him as to WHY he felt the need to do that?!
On 05/1/08 at 7:00 am
Chris said:
Way back when, I used to take a weekend a month and go away somewhere with the woman I was dating. We were down in San Diego one weekend, and I dreamed about my ex. I remember saying, “I love you, Donna” in the dream… Mattie seemed pissed at me the next morning, but never said why… I always suspected I talked in my sleep and said the wrong thing… and I have to admit, breaking up with her was the biggest mistake I ever made (and I’ve made some whoppers)!
.
“Rather than being concerned with weather or not your lady is a two-timer…”
.
Am I on drugs, or should that be “whether” instead of “weather”? I always have to stop and think about which one to use.
On 05/1/08 at 7:20 am
Karri said:
OUCH! Saying someone’s name is one thing, but the “L” word? YIKES! And you are correct, I have clearly not had enough coffee yet. It is whether. “Weather” includes clouds and rain and stuff.
On 05/1/08 at 9:33 pm
Chris said:
Yeah, I didn’t think I was on drugs. You’d think I’d remember smokin’ somethin’!
.
Well, I’ve said it more than once… breaking up with Mattie was the biggest mistake I’ve ever made. She was good for me (and TO me). She was soooo much better than Donna.
On 05/2/08 at 6:46 am
Karri said:
No mistakes sweets, just some lessons are harder than others.
On 05/1/08 at 7:22 am
E said:
My husband quite often says things in his sleep; some quite emphatically. Just recently:
(shouting) It’s made of mayonnaise!
(him) How could you do something like that?
(me) huh? Do something like what?
(him) I was talking to the dog!
(him) were you talking about me behind my back?
(me) no
(him) you want to leave me! God, please!
(me) why, do you want to leave me?
(him) no….
It’s mostly incomprehensible little inanities, but I’d still like to know what was made of mayonnaise. Point being, you can’t pay much attention to what someone says in their sleep.
On 05/1/08 at 7:26 am
Meghan said:
LOL! It’s made of Mayonnaise!
On 05/1/08 at 7:31 am
Karri said:
HAHAAA! That’s awesome! Crash should be happy his lady wasn’t yelling the same thing.
On 05/1/08 at 8:23 am
E said:
I know, right? I’d be more disturbed by “it’s made of mayonnaise!” than “Oh, Steve!” Another recent convo in his sleep:
(him) we can never order pizza again.
(me) oh? why not?
(him, in a spooky voice) because we ordered them ALL last night!
(me) every pizza in the world?
(him) yes.
(me) are you asleep?
(him, indignantly) no!
On 05/1/08 at 8:26 am
Meghan said:
I love this man!!
On 05/1/08 at 10:12 am
Karri said:
Okay, so I must know…do you ever ask him “sneaky” questions while he’s yammering?
On 05/1/08 at 9:33 am
Balancing Good & Evil Daily said:
Dear Crash, is your dick so small that you feel she is going to leave you after having one dream? Tell me honestly that you have never dreamt of a woman other than the one you were with and maybe you would have reason to act like this. Seriously, how do ou know she didn’t dream about introducing the two of you? Or what about an extremely pleasureable experience that reminds her of him? In short, pull your head out and deal with it. She had a life before you, and if you continue to act like a jack-ass, she will have a life after you.
On 05/1/08 at 10:22 am
Karri said:
HOLY BEEJESUS! And I thought I was harsh. But I do agree…if he continues acting like a jackass (one of my favorite words by the way), she may just find herself someone else to share her bed with.
On 05/1/08 at 10:55 am
Balancing Good & Evil Daily said:
Having been in this situation before, though on the other side, I felt emotional about it. I ended up with someone else to share my bed, so feel no sorrow about it. You were harsh, I was emotional. Jackasses like that need to have reality explained to them, just like I tried to explain it to my ex. And besides, the e-mail you responded to sounded like a puffed up overbearing arrogant idiot, so you explain it to them in a way they can understand.
On 05/1/08 at 11:04 am
Karri said:
“puffed up overbearing arrogant idiot”
I probably shouldn’t have, but that made me giggle. Sorry, Crash. Sort of.
On 05/1/08 at 11:18 am
Balancing Good & Evil Daily said:
Well, did you not feel the same way when you originally read this? That was actually my first impression. Either that or he is a 16 y/o virgin trying to make himself out to be a player..
On 05/1/08 at 11:22 am
Karri said:
The odds are the latter, as the tweenagers seem to fancy our advice. We’re shaping the minds of the future generation here at Eve!
On 05/1/08 at 12:35 pm
Balancing Good & Evil Daily said:
What can I say, you are at your sexual peak, and they are fast approaching theirs, or so they think. (I’m just hitting my stride) So they expect the almost 40 year old to teach them. They need to do what we all did and experiment. It really does work, you learn all sorts of things. Once you have the base knowledge, THEN you go to someone with more experience to get more… So, Karri, care to teach me? I’ll teach you some too!
On 05/1/08 at 3:58 pm
Trista said:
Only ONE Eve is almost 40 around here, ehm.
Sorry, Karri. I just don’t need 10 years taken from me just like that.
On 05/1/08 at 4:21 pm
Karri said:
I’m not mad atcha’!
On 05/1/08 at 9:41 am
SDGrrr(l) said:
lol…well, reading everyone else’s comments cracks me up, especially E’s comments about her hubby’s nocturnal conversations. Altho I’m incredibly impressed that she can remember them at all!
When I was really little I used to have a recurring nightmare about whales. Still have it once in a blue moon but I used to have it ALL the time.
And I apparently get violent in my sleep. So I’m told.
Oh, and I do talk, and have been known to walk in my sleep.
But I don’t remember any of these things first-hand, so I have nothing cute and funny to share here. But I will look forward to tomorrow’s show!
Now, about that comment I made yesterday about a certain someone’s appearance…I just saw the pic on your MS page and he doesn’t look NEARLY as good there as he does in the pic on this site. So which is the real Cliff?
And the new page is done…go log in…
On 05/1/08 at 10:27 am
Karri said:
I don’t think the two of us should ever share the same bed, we’d kill each other…ha! While you’re up walking around, can you bring me a snack? I eat in my sleep, and that my friend is NOT funny either!
On 05/1/08 at 11:21 am
SDGrrr(l) said:
lol…sure thing!! Cookies and milk, or something mroe decadent? I guess I need to go to the store…
On 05/1/08 at 11:27 am
Karri said:
Sometimes I’ll buy myself a treat and leave it out on the counter…it’ll be gone in the morning. I trust that I enjoyed it?
On 05/1/08 at 3:18 pm
SDGrrr(l) said:
What if you *don’t* leave it on the counter? Do you still dig it out and enjoy it during the night? Anyway to hide it from your subconcious??
On 05/1/08 at 4:22 pm
Karri said:
Someday I’ll share the potatoe story.