Ditching Dutch-ess

Nice writing. You are on my RSS reader now so I can read more from you down the road.

Allen Taylor

That is the most idiotic, outdated notion I have heard! First off I don’t mind if they insist after I offer to split it, I will at least cover the tip, but I prefer to go dutch that way you are not obligated afterwards, it is a sense of self-respect and independence. I have more than put my fair share in money wise when going to events, dinner, etc. to the best of my ability. Now I will say though, I have done many a thing for men I love, in monetary sense, and at times been taken advantage of, where they ended up not doing the same in return, but I did do it of free will. In those situations, all you can do is cut your losses and treat it as a learning experience.

I think it is nice when a man pays for dinner. I can’t lie. It makes me feel very lady like and as if he is courting me. Things that I know I shouldn’t like, but I do.

Now, that being said. I will only allow such scenarios once or twice. After that it is, I get the next one, or how about we go halvsies?

I want a man, partner, friend, lover, etc. not a bank account.

The fact that Tiera Tara thinks she deserves it is laughable. The fact the question was penned is proof she doesn’t.

And remember sweetie. There is no such thing as a free lunch.

Ever.

And what in the WORLD is the woman in the picture eating? It looks weird. And oddly makes me hungry.

I am going to contemplate that for a while.

I have to agree with Ditching Dutch on this one. We as a society have lost touch with the past. I pay for the food, treat you with respect and you feel obligated to at least throw me some oral at the end of the night. And I ask why stop with a man picking up the tab? I long for the days when the female orgasm was just a “myth”. When men didn’t have to go down on a girl or deal with things like four play. I get off, then roll over while you make me a samich(genoa, cotto, pepperoni & ham, mayo dijon, a light spritz of beanos!!). But why stop there, women should be forced to wear chastity belts again. Because if I’m paying for it, I want purity! And what’s with the lack of homemakers!? And being seen and not heard? Oh, that last one was about children? What I’m trying to say is that I want a babymaking, chiildren raising, stay at home, cook me dinner, rub my stinking feet, shut the fuck up and go to your corner until it’s sexy time edith bunker type of woman. And if any of this describes any of you lovely ladies out there, holla atcha boy! I’ll pay for the shrink and women’s lib literature you so dearly need.

I love to treat a woman, but at the same time, I’m not their credit card. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy the opportunity to introduce a little old fashioned romance, but really, there are better ways to do it than the wallet at dinner!

So…..the rule she bent was having to open her wallet on a date? That was a hardcore rule of life?
Friends with benefits scenario!? So if he doesn’t pay the full tab he just wants to fuck you and then go home to his doggy bag…
Sounds like me!

Couldn’t agree more with your answer Karri. I love to treat my girlfriend, but only because I know she’d never demand that I pay. If any girl I was dating thought the same as lil Madame here, I’d be out of there so fast!

Let us remember that all relationships are TWO-way streets. That first date is as much for him to evaluate her as it is for her to evaluate him.

SERIOUSLY?

This is all that she has to worry about?

GEEZ UM PETES!!!!!

Bravo Karri. Really well written.

For Ditching Dutch: this is a principle you are going to have to unlearn. I know where you’re coming from because I was raised the same way. For me, looking back and then looking at modern life…you have to change and accept the way things are done now. See, there are problems with letting the guy pay. The main problem is one of entitlement. You garner this feeling of entitlement–as if you deserve to be paid for. And the man will feel entitled to be rewarded or compensated for what he has paid for. It’s NOT healthy. From the man’s point of view this is totally passive aggressive. Under those rules he has the right to pay for you and guilt you into receiving compensation. NOT healthy. From the woman’s POV this is unhealthy because it puts a price on you, a dollar figure, and really, don’t you think you are worth more than that?

I’m not suggesting the man should be a cheap-o and never pay for anything. A balance needs to be achieved where both partners feel they are both giving and receiving.

I dated a girl last year who wouldn’t let me pay because then I would expect to get laid. Seriously? Is buying dinner tantamount to prostitution?? I always try to pay, that’s just me, but I stop dating her if she doesn’t at least offer to pay once in a while.

I am one that if I ask you if you wanna go out to dinner, I am paying. Thats the way I have always been. Now when he asks me, I offer to pay my half. And after they see where I live, shit, I mainly have to pay for everything. Well that was back in the day to. When you are in a relationship, its two people in it, not just one. So you can put your money up, and if it seems to be a little too much for your wallet then dont eat so much, or order off the children menu. lol…

You guys make things too complicated. There are women that want to be spoiled, there are men that want to spoil them. There are women that want to be equals, there are men that want to be equals. None of it is right or wrong, so stop trying to make believe there is only one right way. A better answer would be, “find someone that wants to spend on you if that’s your thing”. Rox has spoken.

I don’t know about the golden vajajay. However, there is such a thing as a golden pussy, although it’s not what you’re thinkin’.

FUCK. THAT.
This is why I hate dating.
Not just this notion, but the entirety of asinine expectations. Also there’s the fact some women hate how I “act chivalrously” for fear of me having an ulterior motive (i.e. getting laid) like few mentioned earlier.

It’s a bunch of bullshit!
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