Dominate me
March 11, 2008 · Print This Article
Oh, the woes of the modern woman; the independent, self-sufficient, ambitious, successful, go-getter who takes what she wants without inhibitions or reservations. The world is at her fingertips. No longer is her lack of an appendage a determining factor for her equal rights. Perhaps, even the infamous Oval Office desk will soon be viewing skirts from an entirely new perspective…sitting rather than kneeling.
Our fore-Mothers fought the battle for equality and liberation leaving future generations to uphold the standards set before them. However, I can’t imagine that those who blazed the trail before us could have fathomed the quandaries that now lie in our convoluted gender roles. Between the radical feminist movement and metro-sexual men, we may as well all become A-sexual and call it a day.
Women struggled to gain power, and now quite often we find ourselves entangled in power struggles, flexing our so-called masculinity at inopportune times that does nothing more than emasculate men. I am woman, hear me…roar? It’s a difficult obstacle to overcome… not knowing how or having the ability to abandon our inner control freak and just be women; soft, fragile, compassionate, vulnerable and nurturing creatures.
As time has progressed women have learned the art of surviving without men. And with the advent of each new intimate sexual device our innate desire for a living breathing hu-man diminishes. We have our own homes, careers, and families; our own bank accounts and retirement funds. Our lives are rich and full, but are they fulfilled?
Personally, I find myself waxing between traditional roles and modern day philosophies; I have the ability to take care of myself and I don’t need a man to rescue me. That being said, the notion of letting someone else to take control of the reigns, make decisions and allow me to completely surrender myself is more than appealing. Now, don’t get me wrong, dog collars, whips and chains aren’t exactly at the top of my list when it comes to being dominated…I don’t mean literally whip me into submission, but rather stand up, take charge and prove who’s in control.
As terribly exasperating as this must all appear to men, it’s really not all that complicated. Women can build their own empires, but without a good maintenance man it’ll all just crumble under our stilettos. So, even when we refuse your offer to fix whatever happens to be broken, that doesn’t mean we don’t appreciate knowing we have a knight in shining armor.
On 03/11/08 at 3:32 am
lisaq said:
“I have the ability to take care of myself and I don’t need a man to rescue me. That being said, the notion of letting someone else to take control of the reigns, make decisions and allow me to completely surrender myself is more than appealing.”
Amen girl! Sometimes it would be so nice to just sit back and know I don’t have to deal! Don’t get me wrong. I love my independence, but there are moments when the thought of it all overwhelms me.
On 03/11/08 at 6:08 am
Karri said:
I’m right there with you! It’s quite the pickle we’ve gotten ourselves into, isn’t it?
On 03/11/08 at 5:35 am
PrincessQ said:
Amen!
I don’t mind having my hand held or someone helping me out for a change. I take care of every man that is in my life but once in a while, I need someone to say “OK honey, sit back…Let ME take care of this”…
Really…is that too much to ask?
Even the most independent woman needs the human touch of a man to remind her that she’s a goddess.
On 03/11/08 at 6:19 am
Karri said:
Here’s my question: Would you really be able to let someone else take care of “it”? (Whatever “it” is.) I don’t think it’s too much to ask, and honestly I think most men are not only willing, but perfectly capable of doing so, we just have to allow it to happen. Or gawd forbid, actually ask for help…YIKES!
On 03/12/08 at 12:35 pm
Carol said:
Wait…we are supposed to do everything AND learn how to ask for help?
Sheesh!
On 03/11/08 at 11:20 am
Patrick said:
I have to agree with this one, even being a man. I have seen a considerable amount of women who have gone out of their way to do everything for a man, to get absolutely nothing in return. I have on the other hand done what I can to change that in more ways than one, only to have the female; no offense I assure you ladies, take advantage of that.
On 03/11/08 at 11:46 am
Karri said:
Not appreciating what we have can most certainly be a two-way street. Don’t even get me started on Gold Diggers! GRRRRRRRR!!!
On 03/11/08 at 5:55 am
Cassie said:
Damn..I was kinda hoping for the whips and chains and such!!!! LOL
But I get what you’re saying. Not too sure I’d KNOW how to just let go and be!!
On 03/11/08 at 6:25 am
Karri said:
Make sure to tune in to thestream.tv Thursday night for whips and chains. Seriously!
On 03/11/08 at 6:41 am
Cassie said:
I’ll DO MY BEST to tune in!! LOL
On 03/11/08 at 11:47 am
Karri said:
We’ll be waiting for you with open arms…or a screen. Or something.
On 03/11/08 at 7:31 am
Rex said:
Funny thing is I can’t open a car door without sometimes getting a scowl or a mild tongue lashing (and not the good kind)… there was a girl I like and I picked her up one night and opened the car door for her. She stopped in her tracks for a second, looked at me, then proceeded to get in the car. I ran over to my side, got in and asked her what’s wrong. She replied with “You make me feel like a GRANDMA.”
All I did was open a goddamn door. EXTRAPOLATE THAT! heh She wasn’t the only one to react negatively to my old-fashioned ways; other interests and friends have made similar remarks. It makes me believe my peers take their independence a little TOO seriously and don’t know how to appreciate the bits of chivalry and etiquette that occasionally comes their way.
It’s not like I’m in the business of rescuing… I’m being my natural self. The way my momma (who last I checked was a woman) raised me.
On 03/11/08 at 11:53 am
Karri said:
Sad isn’t it when we don’t even recognize good manners or chivalry? I’ll be the first to admit I’ve been guilty of it myself. As a woman who grew up hearing “you don’t need a man” it’s very difficult to embrace my inner June Cleaver. I’m not saying we need to revert back to circa 1950, but I find it incredibly disheartening when we can’t allow a man to be a man without wondering what’s wrong with him.
Let your Momma know she did a fine job!
On 03/11/08 at 1:53 pm
Rex said:
Will do.Now if it’ll feel comfortable, whenever I’m in the neighborhood you can buy me dinner. Hello steak and lobster!
On 03/11/08 at 2:00 pm
Karri said:
I’m not worried. You don’t visit…ever!
On 03/11/08 at 2:39 pm
Rex said:
Maybe I do but I don’t tell you ladies. …because I have another pair I roll with down there??? Perhaps! *cue old school soap opera organ music* TUNE IN TOMORROW TO FIND OUT!
On 03/11/08 at 5:07 pm
Trista said:
Haha! You dork! You can’t handle us…or our pancakes.
Fantastic piece, Karri, doll.
I’m just not sure I agree on the “show us who’s in control” bit. I want a strong man…but not a domineering one, thanks!
How about sharing in the control…he can toss me around in bed…but I get to pick where we go to eat afterwards!
Ahhhh…perfection.
xx
On 03/11/08 at 6:59 pm
Karri said:
AH-HA!
That’s it exactly! Thanks for filling in the missing link…you truly are my other half.
On 03/17/08 at 10:46 am
Mci said:
from my own personal experience
iv’e learned this 1 simple rule
nothing in life is easy.
we all make mistakes,
but if we are willing to forgive and forget
and let go of our past mistakes
we can then move on and be better people
it’s about showing your support for one another!
On 03/11/08 at 7:32 am
Rex said:
…wow, I wrote a lot of shit.
On 03/11/08 at 11:54 am
Karri said:
Ditto.
On 03/11/08 at 1:54 pm
Rex said:
We have so much in common!
On 03/11/08 at 2:04 pm
Karri said:
Is that a good thing?
On 03/11/08 at 8:42 am
Sarahh said:
I think it just goes to show we are reaching a point where there isn’t any “Man is superior” type of thing. We are reaching mid point. And what do we do when we are EQUAL?
Who opens doors? Who pays? Can I be a modern woman with him paying? What if I make more, does that make him less of a man or me more of a woman?
I think we just need each other, regardless of all that. That is my hope for us all anyway.
On 03/11/08 at 12:04 pm
Karri said:
“Who opens doors? Who pays? Can I be a modern woman with him paying?”
I’ve opened a door or two and I have some deep seeded issue with paying my own way (or at least taking turns), when in the hell did I grow balls? As grateful as I am to be self-sufficient, I truly believe that women’s lib f’d us all up!
On 03/11/08 at 8:57 am
Pi said:
Considering that the battle for equal rights - which includes equal pay and opportunity - is not yet reaching it’s high point …
Everyone needs to get out of the rat race sometime and just be themselves, whether it is as a woman or as a man - or a mixture of both. Let no one judge us for what we do during the day against what we do at night, for our work against our leisure.
Pi.
On 03/11/08 at 12:14 pm
Karri said:
The quandary for a lot of women is that we’re constantly trying to juggle two opposing traits: assertiveness and vulnerability. The two simply do not go hand in hand. We can’t show weakness in the boardroom, yet some of us would like to be a bit more passive when it comes to our personal lives - letting the man take a more traditional role.
It’s a merry-go-round, and I for one am dizzy!
On 03/11/08 at 9:46 am
Susie said:
I also find the traditional relationship roles more appealing. But that could just be because I’m lazy.
On 03/11/08 at 12:14 pm
Karri said:
HAHAHAAA!
NICE!
On 03/11/08 at 11:57 am
PJ said:
“Terribly exasperating.” Perfect choice of words.
I’m sorry gals, but the same glorious independence mentioned above swings both ways and it’s common to find guys choosing that independence over being someone else’s “maintenance man.” I do applaud the major strides and accomplishments made by the fairer sex, but find that some women can easily become drunk with that power. When I’m feeling a little chivalrous and hold the elevator door and wait for a lady to exit before me, I don’t want to hear a speech about the matrix of domination, I just want to sneak a peek at what’s behind you.
On 03/11/08 at 1:39 pm
Karri said:
When you say “fairer” you mean prettier, right?
On 03/11/08 at 7:28 pm
PJ said:
Now that was a pretty fair response.
On 03/11/08 at 7:42 pm
Lori said:
“Knight in shining armor..” No thank you. Now a man with a backbone that walk beside you, through thick and thin, respect your independence yet still treat you with that form of chivalry… now that is a winning blend. We don’t want much do we? :p
On 03/12/08 at 9:16 am
Karri said:
Nope, not too much at all!
And I’d like to add mind reading to the list while we’re at it.
On 03/11/08 at 10:23 pm
Lord Andrew of Goulding said:
“…soft, fragile, compassionate, vulnerable and nurturing creatures…”
You obviously haven’t met the mother of my children, a troglodyte Hell’s spawn escaped from the carvings of some cathedral, no doubt, which somehow found human form.
Ahhhh! You make it all so complex, so much wanting the cake and eating it, too.
1 Be attracted to the person as an animal. You’re there for mating (whether using contraception or not), you might as well get that bit right.
2 If you intend having only a pleasant evening, ensure that they’re charming.
3 If you want to make something last longer, research, research, improvise, research and make sure that the laughter is for real and not (1) in disguise.
4 Look at their photo album.
4.1 It’s quite possible that their body shapes will follow their parents. Could you bear to cuddle up to that in 25 years?
4.2 Check if they’ve had any reconstructive surgery. You don’t want any surprises, later
5 Never get a joint account
ADG (ex Lord Likely)
On 03/12/08 at 9:19 am
Karri said:
Now that is some sound advice right there…I think I’ll post it on my fridge.
Thank you for joining us here at Eve-101!
On 03/12/08 at 5:00 pm
Benn said:
You said, “As terribly exasperating as this must all appear to men, it’s really not all that complicated.” and you’re right. It’s mind-bogglingly simple, but that’s what makes it difficult to really understand.
After reading two posts I quite like your bog perhaps I’ll visit again some time.