Drowning in the Gene Pool

Great Karri pic!
Well I am in the middle of two brothers in my family. My oldest being my half brother. Technically - I never look at him as such because my father married my mother when he was barely out of diapers. He’s one of the only family members I find that I can relate to. That’s if and when I choose to relate to any of them.
I’m very different from my family and live hundreds of miles away from any of them. Sometimes that gets me down, but I’m cool with the separation. I have uncles, aunts and cousins that I couldn’t tell you one current piece of info on if you had a gun to my head. We aren’t really a solid family tree, more of a crawling weed or an Ivy.

I don’t have any half siblings, only one full, but I do not associate with him, because of his mental issues, I can’t subject my children to it, still love him, and it breaks my heart, but you do what you have to.

Now my daughters just found out several months ago, that they had a half sibling that is older than them, threw them for a loop, one has met her, and the nieces and nephews, the little one has not. Doesn’t look like it is going to happen either. It is the surprise sibling’s choice, makes me angry after opening up that can of worms, should have left it alone, now my girls are left wondering.

Mixed family’s, whether they are half or step, can cause some serious issues and resentments, and sometimes can be the most joyful wonderful thing, it’s all how in you deal with it.

I can’t have any more kids, at my age, and for physical reasons and that is fine. But I do have concerns, what if I meet someone that does have children, can I open my heart up and vice versa to someone else’s children, and not choose one over the other on a daily basis? I’m not sure, and that is scary. Fact is when it comes down to brass tax, your own blood will be the one you always know is your utmost priority. So I give credit to those that can integrate a family such as mentioned, and do it successfully. I think it is in all how the parents treat both sets of children, they learn from it, and how to treat each other.

PERFECT example of this.

I am divorced. I have a 6 year old son. His dad is remarried and they are expecting a girl in October.

My son told me JUST this morning we needed to buy the baby a bed for mommy’s house. Because when the baby comes she will need a place to sleep.

I gently explained that when the baby is born she will need to be with her mommy all the time. He asked, can she sleep over? I said, maybe when she is older…

Yeah.

I personally am an only child. Except the 2 half brothers I have from my Dad. From 2 different woman.

Long live “Death do you part”

I think that means “Death of your marraige…”

I am one of the ‘lucky’ ones although I’m not so sure how lucky I really was. I cut off contact with my only brother 6 weeks before he was killed in a car accident. And there are days when my mom could BE Snow White’s wicked stepmonster. I’m just there to do her bidding, make her feel good about herself, and on and on.

That being said, my own two daughters are half sisters and you’d never know it. They are so close that they have chosen to be roommates at ages 19 & 23. They have a relationship that I could have only dreamed to have with my brother.

I have also been the wicked stepmonster and would definitely be wary of filling those shoes again…especially if the children were young. Having been there I do know it’s a tricky, tricky balance.

hmm… Well I am adopted, as well as my brother. But We dont bring that up. Me and my brother we never really close. We tolerated each other, and we’d fight like panthers. But if I needed anything, my brother would be right there for me. He has provided me so much growing up. When I was pregnant w/ my youngest and was heartbroken to the max, him and I went in the kitchen and we just talked, as if we had been close forever. We have are rare moments when we just talk. And when he comes home for whatever it may be, we almost dread it. He is moody and there are times where we (the family) can not get a long with him the whole weekend. I would do anything that I could for him. I wish at times we were closer.

Forced sibling relations is something I do not have to worry about….my parents are still together and the only ppl I have to worry about are the siblings significant others (which is another story entirely!!!

Not too sure I would be very likely to accept anyone at this point, but when I was younger…prolly I would make every effort!!!

I think the reason why no one is still married, well part of it is. They are kids when they get married, and they are getting married for the wrong reasons. Some people dont want to try and work or talk things out. And some it is good for them to get out. But some people dont take it seriously anymore.

I never had to worry about the other children thing, though there are times I wish I did. My parents stayed married until mom died, then dad came out, so I never had to worry about him getting me any ready made siblings. On the other hand, Good & Evil are very close to their elder siblings (who live with their great grandmother), but not the one between them. Sort of funny that we ended up with two of the 6 that sperm donor and cum dumpster had between them. We don’t even know the other two, but the kids would like to beet them.

I am one of the lucky ones. The only real worry I have concerning family is the pain I’d feel if one of them died or got hurt because I love them all so much.
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My parents have been married for 38 years. They have raised 4 children: my older sister, me, and two younger brothers. All of us kids scattered to the winds and have become working adults who live in different parts of the country (and one in Canada). We get together at least once a year, and I talk to each sibling about every couple months (not counting emails). The thing I regret is not being able to assemble more. Our busy work schedules and the sheer distance between us all make it hard to gather everyone at one time.
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This isn’t to say there are never problems or arguments. We are family and that is part of life. But at the core we love each other, life goes on and we seem to get over the troubles that divide. Ever watch the movie The Family Stone? We’re like that, except less judgmental.

No half-siblings, here. Plenty of steps, though. My parents divorced when I was only a year-and-a-half old… and I simply can NOT imagine them together… AT ALL. And I definitely think it was for the best. I vaguely remember them getting “into it” when I was young… something stupid that my older sister caused. But that was the first time I witnessed such venom and hostility between two people I loved. Knew right then and there that I NEVER wanted to be involved with that sort of thing again. Which, I truly believe, is why I’m so picky when it comes to girlfriends and the potential “one”. My two “dodged bullets” were certainly due to that last ever-so-important 5% that I just wasn’t quite sure about (or definitely sure about)… and I just had to walk away. Maybe I’m fooling myself, but I wholeheartedly believe in “’til death do us part”, at least in the sense of if you say it, MEAN IT! But NOT in the sense of “we have to stay together for the children” or some lame shit like that. If it’s over, and you’re to the point of fighting and/or hating each other, just end it. You kids will appreciate it. Maybe not right away… they’ll hate you both. Or put blame on one of you. But sooner or later, they’ll understand.
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As far as getting along with my steps… my mother married 10 years older, and when I was about 7 or 8 years old. So, those three step-siblings are all 12-20 years older, but have been in my life for much of it. We all pretty much get along. They’re from a different walk of life, but that’s cool. We’re there for each other when needed. And we TRY to get together on holidays… but they’re all over the country, so it’s hard. My dad? He married 10 years younger, and not until I was almost 30. Love that side a lot. They’re a few years younger, but we click much more together. And that side of the family has TONS of laughs and fun together when we hang and have dinners. They all live here so we see each other quite often. And as well, we’re all DEFINITELY there for each other when needed.
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I just think people want to be married so badly, they jump at a chance too soon. They really want that person to be the one, even though there’s probably plenty of clues as to why they shouldn’t. Also, once married, we live in a society that says, “Do what you deserve and what is right.” So, when the shit hits the fan, people resent each other, fight and get REAL nasty… instead of sucking up your own personal problems, fight for your love, and MAKE it work. Hence, short marriages, tons of divorces, and all kinds of single parents, mish-mash families and step- half- in-law kids all over the place.

/novel

If that’s the case then why don’t you stop acting like a jackass? Hahahaaa, juuuust kidding.
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Some people have no “stop” valve. When the option to hurt a sibling on a personal level comes up in an argument–they take advantage of it instead of using restraint. Sorry that your siblings aim to take it to the next level. In my family it’s funny because we are really good at weeding out people like this and either defuse the situation by talking calmly, or by ignoring the jackass, or by walking away. I don’t think most families (or people in general) are like this.

I’m an only kid.
WOO HOO!