Git ‘er dun!
November 4, 2008 · Print This Article
Ahhh, endless hours of mind numbing escapes from reality…otherwise known as the new American pastime which is Reality TV. Being one that rarely flips channels I had no idea there was such a vast array of options. Seemingly endless guilty pleasures all scripted to make the average, quasi rational person feel as though their life is beyond spectacular in comparison to the train wrecks seeping through the cable box.
It was a perfectly delightful easy-breezy Sunday afternoon filled with America’s most talented and beautiful melodramatics. And then it happened…up next: Tom Arnold hosts “My Big Redneck Wedding.” The catchy title was enough to grab my attention and before I knew it I’d spent hours on the sofa mesmerized by shock and awe entertainment.
Country Music Television describes the down home debauchery as “a whole new meaning to for better or for worse. Each episode with its own rustic eccentricities, whether it is a four-legged best man, a romantic beer can canopy, a celebratory shotgun salute or a reception filled with mattress surfing and mud wrestling.”
Let’s be clear on this descriptor, shall we? By “rustic eccentricities and mud wrestling” CMT has politely described the toothless renegades who participated in a hot dog eating contest at Amyie and George’s weddin’ reception. Oh, and mud wrestling is exactly that…mud wrestling (although one couple did opt for Jell-O). The fun didn’t stop there, kids! Lawn mower races, a horse manure shaped cake and turkey nuts were just a few of the whacky sentimental gestures these redneck couples put on display for the unsuspecting viewing audience.
Kelli and Ron for example, love to crash cars, so they got married at the demolition derby. When Amber and John decided to tie the knot, John’s bachelor party headed out to the woods to shoot wild boar for the weddin’ supper. Not to be outdone of course by Amber’s stunning camouflage dress and veil. Watch out Vera Wang those country girls can BeDazzle like nobody’s business.
If you need to pee, the porta-potty is behind the monster truck tires…
To help off set the cost of their honeymoon, Anna and Carl auctioned off their excess farm equipment during the reception. Genius! Even more innovative was the Groomsman who owns a septic tank repair business. He and his thrifty Bride gave 20% off “Poop-ons” as wedding favors. Yee-Haw!
Then there was the teenage couple, Geneva and Kyle who met in pre-school (it’s quite possible their formal education ended shortly thereafter). To their credit these youngsters do possess tremendous decorating skills which were showcased by their choices in reception decor. They chose to cover the walls and tables with homemade quilts, which highlighted the mounted carcasses; the Bridesmaids donned the latest camo fashion sans shoes to support the Brides barefoot and pregnant motif. Martha Stewart would be proud!
As a girl who isn’t too far removed from redneck-ery I didn’t think it was possible to ever be disturbed by substandard acts of civilization but these folks are a force to reckon with. Now, I’m not about to judge how anyone wants to celebrate their big day. If you want to two-step down a straw covered isle and announce your love under a beer can laden archway, have it at. And while producers can script and edit just about scenario, exploiting ignorance is just sad!
So grab a can of Coors Light, a handkerchief to wipe your tears and tune into CMT’s, “My Big Redneck Wedding.” You’ll either laugh or cry…or both.
Okay, y’all…we’ve all witnessed a wedding or two go awry. Which ceremony disasters cause you to shudder? Have you ever been subjected to participating in a hog tying contest or gone bogging while a happy couple says I do? More importantly, how far would you stoop for your beloved? And which reality show mishaps are your favs?
p.s.
GO VOTE!
On 11/3/08 at 9:30 pm
Trista said:
Personally, I think its awesome. Not the show, but the weddings of which you write. I am so sick of unoriginal, cookie cutter weddings, I would love to attend one in which the bride and groom unabashedly make it all their own. That’s not trashy, that’s creative.
That is why there will be an inflatable bounce house and pony rides at my wedding. Oh, and a horror movie motif. I’m going to dance up the isle ‘Thriller’ style.
I say make it your own or stay home.
On 11/4/08 at 5:49 am
Phoenix said:
I’m all for untraditional too.
But falling into a mud pit face first just looks painful! I mean sure the water isn’t that hard, but the ground underneath sure is. :p
On 11/4/08 at 7:35 am
Trista said:
I bet its squishy. But I wouldn’t want to face check it, personally.
On 11/4/08 at 6:52 am
Karri said:
Why is that you want pony rides at your wedding and I want them at my wake? HA!
I think it’s fabulous that these lovebirds are being creative and going against the grain, but you tell me…isn’t this just a wee bit trashy?
http://www.cmt.com/videos/misc/291867/my-big-redneck-wedding-204-amyie-and-george-4.jhtml?id=1597665
On 11/4/08 at 7:41 am
Trista said:
Come on, they’re cute. And so in love too. Don’t hate, Karri.
On 11/4/08 at 7:52 am
Karri said:
Riiiiiiight here!
On 11/6/08 at 7:47 pm
Chris said:
Need I point out that the company I work for has Jumbo Bounce Houses, 30-Foot Colossal Slides, Laser-Tag Mazes, Mechanical Bulls, Robo-Surfers, 4-Way Trampolines, inflatable obstacle courses, Jurassic Adventure, video games, pinball machines, Wiis and XBoxes with 50-inch plasma screens, rock walls, and lots of other stuff?
On 11/4/08 at 4:35 am
lisaq said:
Haha…what next? I can’t say I’ve ever witnessed anything like this which, when you think about it, is odd considering I’ve lived most of my life in Kansas and I’ve seen some crazy redneck shit!
On 11/4/08 at 7:16 am
Karri said:
To me, it’s a little disheartening that we exploit the shortcomings of others for our entertainment. Then again, who doesn’t enjoy a good train wreck?
On 11/4/08 at 7:52 am
Trista said:
But why are you watching people get married and cataloging their so-called “shortcomings?” Why are you looking at a day of joy for these people and calling it a “train wreck?” Isn’t that just you putting your own perception on someone else’s happy day? If everyone is having a good time, why is it a train wreck?
Now celebrity rehab…shows like that, in which desperate people showcase their illness in a desperate attempt to get help…those shows are exploitation. This show sounds like a…hoot!
Maybe I need to watch the show to understand.
On 11/4/08 at 8:20 am
Karri said:
“Maybe I need to watch the show to understand.”
I suspect you might have a different viewpoint. Or not.
On 11/6/08 at 7:51 pm
Chris said:
Someday I’m gonna be famous.
Do I have talent? Well, no.
These days you don’t really need it,
Thanks to reality shows.
Can’t wait to date a supermodel.
Can’t wait to sue my dad.
Can’t wait to wreck a Ferrari,
On my way to rehab.
‘Cause when you’re a celebrity,
It’s adios reality
You can act just like a fool,
People think it’s cool,
Just ’cause you’re on TV…
On 11/4/08 at 5:30 am
Squish said:
I went to a wedding in the middle of a hay field. The bride was driven “down the aisle” on her daddy’s tractor and the reception was a barn dance. Her dad had died, but she wanted him to “be” there, so they used his tractor and that set the motif for the whole thing.
My friend just got engaged on Friday. Since they got engaged on Halloween, they’re talking about doing a zombie wedding. There will be a Thriller dance. But they want to pay for me to be ordained so I can perform the ceremony. It’s untraditional, but it fits them.
On 11/4/08 at 7:18 am
Karri said:
As the one who will be performing the ceremony can you bring a guest? Trista would be *ehm* thrilled to go!
On 11/4/08 at 10:04 am
Carol said:
lol….if Squish brings a guest, I can pretty much bet it would be her boyfriend. or Me!!!!
On 11/4/08 at 10:28 am
Karri said:
It doesn’t hurt to ask.
On 11/4/08 at 10:33 pm
Trista said:
I don’t see why…I can rock the zombie look like no one else can.
On 11/4/08 at 10:40 pm
Karri said:
I must say, you were totally hawt at Hell House last year. You do dead better than most!
On 11/4/08 at 5:56 am
PQ Nation said:
Heeeeeeeeeey ladies…look who’s back
My dad LOVES to torture me with these shows…When we’re chilling at home on the weekend and he has control of the remote, he’ll turn on a show like this so needless to say, I’ve seen a redneck wedding or two.
Gotta love the way people stay true to themselves!!
I don’t plan on getting married and I’ve only been to one wedding in my life and all I can say is…I’d rather have someone be completely original and quirky (Think a Twilight wedding…*sigh* Edward…) over having the usual ceremony. It’s supposed to be one of the best memories you have right? So do YOU!
On 11/4/08 at 7:25 am
Karri said:
Well hi there, little one!
My Dad loved RFD TV, more specifically “The Big Joe Polka Show.” OY!
Since when are you not ever getting married? What’s that about?
On 11/4/08 at 7:31 am
PQ Nation said:
Oh it’s been like that for a while…I don’t believe in the institution of marriage…*shrug*
On 11/4/08 at 7:35 am
Karri said:
Okay, to each their own.
Now I’m curious though…how do you feel about monogamous relationships? Is it just the legality of marriage that you don’t subscribe to?
On 11/4/08 at 8:11 am
PQ Nation said:
Yeah, I’m not a commitment phobe by any means but as far as marriage is concerned, I feel that too many people put stock in the institution itself without figuring out what makes a RELATIONSHIP work.
I believe in monogamous relationships but I also believe that most of the time, those relationships fall apart when trying to live up to societal expectations of what a relationship and more specifically, marriage, should be.
On 11/4/08 at 10:02 am
Karri said:
PQ = the new Goldie.
On 11/4/08 at 5:56 am
Phoenix said:
I have never seen a ceremony disaster, and I don’t have cable or watch reality TV, so I got nuthin on that one.
But I DO live in MI, which to my chagrin, sometimes lives up to it’s midWESTERN rep more than I’d like. :p I have two friends who went to a wedding this summer in Northern MI where the bride and groom wore camo and sweats and got married by an officiant in a flouresent orange hunting vest on the porch of thier trailer home. Yep.
Oh, and I was married once. We had a mostly traditional wedding, but had more than one mosh pit during the reception.
On 11/4/08 at 7:29 am
Karri said:
I’ve had a few of my own wedding disasters…it’s unavoidable.
It seems that camo is the new white. I saw more hunting attire on that show than I have at my family reunions. Who knew?
Mosh pits, Phi? Nice!
On 11/4/08 at 6:31 am
Meghan said:
I’m all for the non-traditional bore of a wedding…I hate most forms of ceremony and it’s social constraints. Everyone inside neat little lines. Not for me.
I myself would want to keep the mud on the outside off my weddin’ dress on the big day. People that sky dive, deep sea fish, hang glide or Monster truck their way into their ‘I Do’s’…whatever floats your boat.
The last big wedding I attended the wedding party was standing in front of a giant fireplace for the exchange of vows and right before ‘Do you take this man?’ the maid of honor fainted from the heat. Nobody wants to hear ‘Oh my god is she dead?!!!’ right before they tie the knot.
On 11/4/08 at 7:39 am
Karri said:
HAHAHAAA!
We had the same thought mid-ceremony when an 88 year old Grandmother fell asleep in her wheelchair. What to do, what to do? Can someone check her pulse…
On 11/4/08 at 5:45 pm
Meghan said:
That’s no good. Equally bad to ‘If there are any objections to this union’ and an old uncle has a hand over heart clinching coronary.
I just don’t know if I’ll ever be a wedding girl…I see elope written all over me. Everywhere but my ring finger of course.
On 11/4/08 at 7:08 am
pecosa said:
I think it’s awesome that they stay true to themselves and have a fun time on their wedding day. If you don’t plan for much, you won’t be as dissapointed.
I dated a redneck guy once and he had plans for a wedding on horses, cowboy hats, loads of miller lite and it would be out in the country. Not that bad, just not for me. I love me some country, but I’m a city girl at heart.
On 11/4/08 at 7:44 am
Karri said:
“I dated a redneck guy once and he had plans for a wedding on horses, cowboy hats, loads of miller lite and it would be out in the country.”
I didn’t know you dated my cousin.
Who by the way is NOT my brother.
On 11/4/08 at 11:06 am
Kiki said:
I am somewhat embarassed to admit that kind of wedding sounds great! But then I heart cowboys. And horses. And mountains. Not so keen on Miller Lite though.
On 11/4/08 at 2:56 pm
Karri said:
Nothing to be embarrassed about! It’s not necessarily the wedding themes that I’m so opposed to, it’s the way the producers are making a mockery of it all.
i.e: Clearly portraying the “characters” as uneducated hillbillies.
On 11/4/08 at 5:49 pm
Meghan said:
Clearly making a mockery out of a different way of life. It’s what producers do best.
I forget what comedian said it, I think it was Louis C.K., anyway…
He had a joke that racial, class, beauty jokes always offend SOMEONE…but everyone, EVERYONE laughs at ‘white trash’.
End any awful life story with ‘and he was a redneck’ and people will be like ‘Ha ha! Fuck THAT guy!’
On 11/4/08 at 7:28 pm
Karri said:
Jeff Foxworthy has made a career out of the comedy that is the redneck way of life. And who eats that shit up? Those he throws under the bus, of course!
On 11/4/08 at 7:51 pm
Meghan said:
Foxworthy = Not Funny.
On 11/4/08 at 8:12 pm
Karri said:
I’m not a fan either, but some who I share DNA with find him knee slappin’ hilarious.
On 11/4/08 at 8:33 am
Fiona said:
I kinda like that they embraced the fact the bride was knocked up for the aisle walk, too many people try to hide it and make it something to be ashamed about.
All I care about at a wedding is a DAMNED good party to celebrate the happy couple. If people in that neck of the woods think a demolition derby is a damned fine time, then …. why not?
If I ever get married again it’s gonna be a Ceremony in the court house and ALL the money spent on a HUGE bram with good food and music. Done.
On 11/4/08 at 9:06 am
Karri said:
I like the way you’re thinking and I too fancy the idea of a big party. The rest of the hoopla is just for show (and a waste of money), but the memories of friends and family will last forever.
On 11/4/08 at 9:17 am
Fiona said:
I forgot that an open bar is a must.
I mean, I’ve never been to a Caribbean wedding without one, but I hear they aren’t the main stay overseas. That’s just wrong
On 11/4/08 at 10:01 am
Karri said:
I agree! What’s a party without free booze?
On 11/4/08 at 10:04 am
Jaime said:
Reality TV makes me angry. It may have been real at one point, but now it’s all staged. I’m all for people doing what they want, but to make a mockery of your life for all the world to see on national television is just stupid.
On 11/4/08 at 10:31 am
Karri said:
The couples get $2500 for their participation. Considering our current state of economic turmoil, I can certainly understand the allure.
On 11/4/08 at 11:17 am
Kiki said:
I don’t want to have the Big White Meringue wedding. I want dancing and drinking and laughter and hugs and family and friends and seeing the sun come up. I am a big romantic I’ll admit it. But the traditional wedding ceremony isn’t for me. It represents a straightlaced formality that is against my views of what a marriage should be. I feel a marriage should be a rawdy celebration of togetherness and I really feel the village is a part of that. Obviously there’s a time for one on one intimacy but in the great scheme of things my family, his family, and all of our friends are a part of our lives as a whole and should share in our life as a wedded couple. I hate isolation and think we should go back to the good ole days of extended families and friends and trust and sharing, openness and community.
Share the love, folks
(just keep your hands off my man LOL)
On 11/4/08 at 2:57 pm
Karri said:
“(just keep your hands off my man LOL)”
Says the girl smoking the Love Crack!
On 11/4/08 at 1:43 pm
Carol said:
If I ever get married again, it wouldn’t be to someone who would have such a diametrically opposed view of “fun” or celebration. There would be no “stooping” because we’d likely have similar views from the get go.
That being said, I don’t see ever getting married again. It’s so far out of the realm of my reality, it’s more difficult to imagine strange things I might be willing to do to make someone I love happy.
On 11/4/08 at 3:00 pm
Karri said:
It’s rare to find a couple who shares everything in common especially wedding plans. Traditionally when it comes to the big day men tend to sacrifice so the ladies can have their fairytale dream weddings.
That being said, I’d venture to bet you’d be willing to do the same for the man you love if you were to ever walk down the isle again. No?
On 11/4/08 at 10:18 pm
Carol said:
Of all the compromises I am totally willing to make…I can’t see changing my views drastically on the tone I would want set, etc, IF I ever get married again. If it were to ever happen, I honestly believe he and I would have very similar views on how we would approach it. Maybe it’s because I just don’t see it happening that I have a hard time wrapping my head around the idea of it.
On 11/4/08 at 3:51 pm
Trista said:
There is not one guy on this blog??
What the hell?!
On 11/4/08 at 4:21 pm
Karri said:
I was fully expecting to get props for my use of “redneck-ery”…pfffft!
On 11/6/08 at 7:55 pm
Chris said:
What am I? Chopped liver?
On 11/4/08 at 4:54 pm
Redorkulated said:
Please say I’m not too late for this one! You know, rednecks aren’t the only ones who come up with stuff for weddings.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1081355/The-100-000-white-wedding-16-year-old-girl-lives-caravan.html
Now in all fairness, gypsies/travellers/however they call themselves have a tradition of marrying young and staying together and being strong family-based communities, but that tradition also includes over-the-top weddings that are the height of class. (I giggle even when I type that.)
On 11/4/08 at 4:56 pm
Redorkulated said:
Oh, and this may qualify me as a redneck, but instead of a formal rehearsal dinner I told my parents that should I ever get married I want a pig roast/bbq for the dinner. I’m anti-dress so if I have to wear one the next day (because the girlie-girl in me insists) then I’m all about jeans and a tank top the night before!
On 11/4/08 at 5:12 pm
Karri said:
WHOA…Holy Boobs Batman!
I guess the church doesn’t have a dress code, hmmm?
On 11/4/08 at 5:38 pm
Redorkulated said:
Guess not. Technically it did cover the bits. I’m just wondering if we’ll ever get the chance to have a show like that in the states. Gives the rednecks a run for the bedazzling money!
On 11/4/08 at 5:45 pm
Karri said:
If the Bachelors and Bachelorettes would last longer than the post show wrap-up I suspect they could give them a run for their money. Remember Trista and Ryan’s wedding? They nearly put the Royals to shame.
On 11/4/08 at 8:35 pm
andy said:
kidd
this should have been right up you alley from a girl that came from not rednecks but something close
On 11/4/08 at 9:38 pm
Karri said:
HAHA!
Are you kidding me right now…today you make an appearance? Nice!
And hey, any good country girl knows that “close” only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades. It should not be a term used to describe family trees!
On 11/6/08 at 7:57 pm
Chris said:
“close” only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.
And small thermonuclear devices.