I want a new girlfriend!
September 21, 2008 · Print This Article
I want to have a dinner party. Provided I give a few months notice, I can guarantee I would have a kick-ass dinner party with the best guests and friends on the planet. I know, because the last truly kick-ass dinner party I’ve given was for my fortieth birthday. That was last January. It’s been awhile!
Here’s my problem. My closest friends all live hundreds, if not thousands of miles away from me. I have two exceptionally close friends in Nashville. Years ago, I had a large circle of female friends. I had seven bridesmaids when I got married. I had a different circle of 6-10 women who would show up for Wednesday night dinners when I was married. It was an open invite night and whoever showed up, showed up. It was dedicated to be women only and my husband accepted it because it gave him the perfect excuse to hibernate in the bonus room with his computer games.
That’s my preference, still. Low key, no pressure, come by if you can. There will be food and good beverages. There will be interesting conversation. Laughter is all but guaranteed. I liked not knowing exactly who would show up. I liked watching my friends meet other like-minded, yet different friends. I also enjoy an occasional girls night out, dinner, throwing darts or just chilling at home with friends.
Over the past years, that circle has dwindled. More specifically, I pruned my friendship tree because some of those relationships were toxic. I lost about four of those women in the divorce. Three more moved away. Two got married and decided that single friends were no longer worthy of their free time. One rededicated her life to Jesus. One became a major drug addict. You get the picture. My dinner table is close to empty.
People change. I am not oblivious to it. Basically, I woke up one day and realized I was missing the joy previously known with my girlfriends. I reached out and met some of the most amazing women ever put on this Earth. I met them in Maryland, California, Texas and North Carolina. Others from Louisiana,Seattle, New York , New Hampshire, Michigan and elsewhere traveled to meet me in Tennessee. I have soul sisters scattered across the country. Phone, texts and emails are great for the day to day. They do not allow for random Wednesday night dinners.
What’s a smart, yet single woman to do? I used a social networking website to attempt to meet quality women in my geographic area. I didn’t send out invites willy-nilly. I put substantial thought into what I could glean from their profile. I invited five and only two have responded. That was two weeks ago. I even went so far as to invite one to join me and another local friend to hear a band play. I think she may have thought I was an axe-murderer. Or something.
I tried another social networking site geared towards dating. I figured, “Hey, who better for a friend than someone who is obviously seeking to meet men.” They are single and they have time to socialize. Brilliant, right? Yes. Well, except for the deterrent of “must be male and have photo to contact this user”. Plenty of fish, my ass. Seems to be a bunch of women only in search of sausage.
Being a *cough* sausage lover myself, I mean no ill will. It is simply my personal experience is that most women over the age of thirty are closed off to the possibility of truly extending their circle of friends. The last person who responded to my face to face invitation to friendship was 23 at the time. She was literally firing my company and I invited her for beers and hot wings. Voila, a priceless friendship was born!
I was on the verge of placing a free ad on Plenty of Fish. So much so, I decided to just take the plunge and go for it. My profile at the moment reads as follows: Wanted, girlfriends. I am single, fun, bright, occasionally hilarious and have no desire to explore lesbianism. I have no bi-fantasies, no boyfriend with whom I secretly want to extend a threesome and I have no hidden agenda. If you are relatively sane, have a sense of humor and desire for a genuine connection to another female friend, contact me.
I threw caution to the wind and just hit “post” to the direct and honest approach. What I really want is for YOU to write a new synopsis for me. Surely, I will get at least a few good options to try from my Eve-101 family. I’m going to post them without fear and report back in a month on the results! If your ad results in meeting one decent friend, I will be sending you a gift card for TooTimid.com. Consider it my way of sharing a very different type of joy.
Question of the day…how do you go about meeting new people you actually wish to know in the day to day? Is there a secret password that I didn’t get, a lost memo or some decoder ring that was lost in the mail? What is YOUR theory on why people are so closed off in this day and age?
On 09/21/08 at 2:32 am
Anne said:
I LOVED
On 09/21/08 at 2:40 am
Anne said:
Okay, apparently I’ve found a magic key combination on my keyboard that allows me to post mid-sentence. B of a FT!
*cleansing breath and…*
I LOVED this article. I was going to gush from there but the mood is gone.
Actually, I don’t go about meeting new people. I just… I don’t know. I have friends — met in college or kick boxing class or known since kindergarten or because of friendships since kindergarten. I don’t mind being friendly when I leave the house, but I find no value in putting myself truly out there.
And those friendships I just referred to; I hardly talk to them. Most live no where near me — Lansing, Ann Arbor, Georgia, Kentucky…
I’m trying to get an answer to “why?” My best guess is that they’re insanely busy with their own lives and I only make the first step so many times before I just leave them the hell alone. And I pretty well suspect the same would happen with any new friendship, so why bother?
Hmm, it looks like Eeyore wrote this, huh?
On 09/21/08 at 6:32 am
Carol said:
You LOVED It? Oh, my, you just made my freaking day.
I wondered if this would resonate with anyone…or at least would others be willing to be honest about it. If it doesn’t hit the mark with anyone else today, I will feel somehow more at peace knowing I am not alone!
You are EXACTLY the kind of person I would meet in some weird ass way in person…have a conversation with you….and YOU would be like my friend Vix, you would have agreed to beers and wings.
My question to you is this….does it bother you in the least? Have you ever felt like you were missing some element in your life that could potentially help balance the life of mommy, wife, et al? If so, my advice is to get cracking now, break your habits and find some new local friends. Trust me, it does not get any easier with *ahem* age!
I love you, woman!
On 09/21/08 at 4:51 pm
Anne said:
Good question. It bothers me in terms of loneliness and jealousy. I do get to points where I really wish I had a person (and TIME and FREEDOM) to just spend time with and learn from; share; everything. There are moments in my life when I wish I had a friend; and when a husband doesn’t count. I get jealous of my husband because he has a regular Sunday night outing with a group of his friends that goes on unless there’s a major holiday. They even gather during hospitalizations of key friends.
Around these parts, that’s known as being needy and I can’t stand being called needy. It becomes more important for me to be able to hang solo than crack and ask for a friend.
On 09/21/08 at 4:58 pm
Anne said:
Oh, and I would totally do the wings and beer thing.
And I don’t even like wings. Beer good; wings confuse me. But I would do it because of you.
On 09/21/08 at 5:46 pm
Carol said:
You don’t get the wings thing? Have you never had really great chicken wings? What about sushi? Oh, hell..I don’t even know your favorite foods. We could just try some place you have wondered about and order three appetizers. Drink, share the food, people watch and laugh. I know it does wonders for me whenever I hang out with Vix. Just two girls talking girl stuff. Not always about boys or men…although that can be fun, too.
On 09/22/08 at 2:11 am
Anne said:
Funny you should mention curious food joints. In October, our very first Sonic opens. We’ve been getting the ads in Flint for years. Everytime my husband and I checked the site to try the food; there were NONE above Ohio.
We’re geeked.
On 09/21/08 at 5:15 am
Meems said:
Great write as always my love. Sometimes as you know life does get in the way, of course we dont mean for it to but it does happen. Work schedules change and before you know it you have 30 minutes to get your kid from daycare. Then it’s on to home…. snack’s, homework,dinner, bathtime cuddle time and a book to read your lil one or ones before they go off to dream land. It’s tough and I can only speak of my current situation. After all that I am working on healing a relationship which comes with hour and hours of conversation until I fall asleep on the couch. My dad visiting for 8 days which almost drove me crazy because he camped out on my computer for 20hours a day!!! UGGG! Sometimes a phone call or text which seems so simple becomes a huge task. What I mean by this is that your intention is to do it but your mind set as you sit your ass on the couch for a moment of relaxtion by yourself is, “I will do it in a sec..” then the next thing you know it’s midnight and your never did it even though your thoughts and heart are there, your damn finger was just to exhausted. Know what I mean?
When friendships grow silent it’s not that they are disapating it’s just when you trust that friendship you trust the connection even though there has been long periods of verbal silence but it doesnt mean that the connection isnt alive and well. Sometimes “true” friends just know that this shit happens on occasion. We believe and have faith that when they get more than 5 minutes, cause you know 5 minutes would never do, they will call. One of my very great friends, infact my oldest best friend since I was 12 and now I am 35 has lasted through 14 months of silence because she was going through something I couldnt even help her with, infact I had no idea what the hell was going on. I felt slighted for the longest time but then I realized it didnt really have anything to do with me…. it was about her and I if I loved her I had to trust her… so I did. When we picked back up via phone after nearly 14 months it was like the silence between us never happened. That is friendship, that is unconditional love and acceptance. I have learned that acceptance is the key to inner peace, therefore I have come to accpet the outcome of every situation because after all “Everything happens for a reason”
I love you Sunshine!!
Meems
On 09/21/08 at 6:39 am
Carol said:
Meems,
I totally get the hustle and bustle of life. With you and I, for example, it’s easy to trust that what connects us can not dissipate. It simply is.
My connection with you is one that others may never fully understand. I meet you in an unconventional way, at an unconventional time…and we were destined to meet. You, my sweet Meems,didn’t even hesitate to hop on a plane to spend quality time in person. Voila…a lifetime friendship born on the internet was cemented in person.
I can’t imagine my life without you! Certainly, there must be at least one or two quality women in my own geographic area with similar qualities, yes? Yet, it seems my soul sisters are meant to be scattered across miles and time zones!
I just look forward to our “catch up” time…and seeing you here today just put a big smile on my face. The great news is that I get to spend time with you in Florida next month. I look forward to the heart to hearts, soul to soul talks, laughs and possibly tears we will share.
I love you, too, Florida Sunshine!
On 09/21/08 at 5:39 am
lisaq said:
Ugh! I can soooo relate to this. I lost most of my girlfriends in my last divorce. They don’t have time for a single friend or they don’t know what to say because their married lives are so much different than mine. Never mind they are busy with their husbands and don’t have the time or inclination to hang out with the single girl. I actually searched the POF profiles in my area at one time too…no luck at all. Let me know if you find the magic ad or whatever…
On 09/21/08 at 6:41 am
Carol said:
Lisa, I don’t even know where you live! Tell me where you live and perhaps I know some wonderful souls for you to meet. Seriously. It’s what I do. I meet the best people on the planet and introduce them to others.
I feel better knowing that you, too, attempted the POF route. It will be funny to see if anyone other than a bi-lesbian-threesome seeking person contacted me based on what I posted yesterday.
Maybe we will find the magic ad together.
On 09/21/08 at 7:10 am
lisaq said:
Ugh! Central Kansas. Small town comparatively. I’m geographically challenged which just so doesn’t help me out…with friendships or with dating.
Yep. I didn’t even get a reply. POF kinda sucks anyway but whatcha gonna do? Let me know what kind of replies you get.
On 09/21/08 at 7:42 am
Carol said:
Central Kansas…I wondered when I finally visited 20-Forty.com and read your ABOUT US section if you still lived there. I have to agree, that would be tough from a geographic standpoing. I spent a year in Atchinson!
I’ll certainly be using any suggestions I get offered here today and report back on them. If nothing else, my humble experiment may provide some entertainment!
On 09/21/08 at 7:15 am
Matt said:
“What is YOUR theory on why people are so closed off in this day and age?”
It’s the TV… and the Internet. People sit at home all evening, hypnotized by their f’ing televisions. When they’re not watching television, they’re on the Internet.
On 09/21/08 at 7:45 am
Carol said:
So, what about those who DO go out? I meet them in social settings, strike up conversation…even make them laugh (hey, I really AM funny, at times) and they still aren’t open!
But, I agree…I think a lof of people have grown increasingly lazy…toward life AND friendships.
On 09/21/08 at 8:06 am
Vicki said:
It’s funny…I did the same thing when I first moved to Nashville. I had quite a few successful back-and-forths with some girls and even met one of them with a big group a couple of times. That one got screwed up when I started dating one of the guys and was pushed away after we broke up.
Why must everything go back to men?
In any event, it kinda hit me this week when planning my birthday. 4 years ago, 18 people came out for my 21st birthday. This year there will be 6. Not that I’m not incredibly appreciative of these 6 people who have touched my life immeasurably, but you understand what I’m saying.
I am glad that the absolute randomness in which we met turned out to be not so random after all. I will do my part in expanding our circle.
On 09/21/08 at 8:16 am
Carol said:
We will celebrate all the gloriousness which is YOU, Vix. I think you will find the celebration of turning a quarter of a century memorable in it’s own way. Look at how much you have grown and changed…and well, all that other goodness you have going on right now!
Everything does NOT go back to men…at least not after a certain age. Well, not for all of us.
Our local circle will expand when it is supposed to expand. I have to trust that everything does happen for a reason. I’ve never been so happy for a company to fire my company as with you!
On 09/21/08 at 8:11 am
pecosa said:
I know what you mean. It can be frustrating at times. I joined myspace to meet people in my area. I met amazing people, but they live halfway across the country!
It’s hard for me to meet people my age because I don’t have a regular 23 year old’s life. I have two kids and a full time job. Most people who can relate to that are married. I’m separated. So couple outings are weird for me. It’s just a mess. Plus I have a very busy life that the friends I do have stop inviting me places because I never have time!
On 09/21/08 at 8:20 am
Carol said:
I hear you. Only I went through that at 35, with a 2.5 year old and one year old in tow. Your priorities are kids first, responsiblities, etc…and friends naturally migrate to low priority until you find your balance.
I don’t know that it’s so much an age issue as a life issue. Once you have been married or had kids, there is a change in energy. If not energy, certainly in priorities.
On 09/21/08 at 8:19 am
Chez Funk said:
Hi Carol!
I wonder why women seem to have more trouble with this than men? I could go right now and round up 3 or 4 to bring over for a cookout, except that I’m out of charcoal.
I’ll have to think about this, and get back to you. If I ride at least 50 miles today, I should have an answser later.
m
On 09/21/08 at 8:22 am
Carol said:
I think women are just focused on sausage, Mike! I have noticed that quite a few of the single women I have the most in common with as far as generalities go seem to have one major disconnect from me. They are more focused on finding their life-mate than lifetime friends.
I would love for you to bring three or four women to a cookout at my house. I’ll supply the charcoal!
On 09/21/08 at 8:23 am
Cassie said:
HEY THERE……I figured how to get here VIA my phone!!!!! WOOT WOOT!!!
I don’t meet new people usually. Mostly b/c I’m really bad with maintaining the friendship I Already have, so I feel bad making new ones! lol
On 09/21/08 at 8:41 am
Carol said:
WOOT! You are NOT bad at maintaining friendships. Holy shit, you drove over eight hours to spend one last weekend at my old house with me!
You rock!
On 09/22/08 at 12:02 pm
Cassie said:
yeah, but when was the last time I contacted YOU and not the other way around? I’m bad at the ‘day to day’ stuff!!!
On 09/21/08 at 8:23 am
Trista said:
Sometimes I wonder if the best friendships, quite like the best romantic relationships, are born of random chance. And a step further into speculation-land… if our pining for them might perhaps be counter-productive?
I really don’t know. But I do know that it is really difficult to find and foster those truly phenomenal relationships with women. Part of it is the fact that I don’t get out as much as I used to. I think it is also because I have grown more selective. And lastly it is partially time constraint. I am a busy girl, and growing and developing a new relationship of any sort takes time.
And yet, I am satisfied with the rate of growth in my life. I don’t need a huge circle to be happy…I prefer a closer, more tight knit one. I consider myself blessed to have somewhat recently found a friendship as grand and life-altering as the one I found in Karri. Being patient and letting the universe bring the right people into my life at the right times works… for me.
But I also want to stick up for internet relations. I don’t think it takes away from personal interactions if used correctly. I found the loveamylife because of the internet. I first met my best friend and heterosexual life partner on the net.
It is a tool of our age, and I think it gets an unfair blanketed bad rap.
Wow…I had a lot to say, didn’t I? I have a finger cramp now! =)
On 09/21/08 at 8:44 am
Carol said:
Oh, T, I absolutely agree with you. The net is a phenomenal tool for meeting life-altering partners of both varieties. For some reason, those people are the ones willing to drive, fly or whatever…to just spend time. Yet, I meet a similar person who could have that aptitude locally and they won’t even invest an hour!
I love my close-knit inner circle. We just happen to be dispersed across the country, literally! I get what you are saying about pining for something else. Trust me, I almost feel guilty wanting more local friends.
But, I want what I want. It hit me and dammit, I’m nothing if not passionate about a cause!
**smiling to hear you say loveofmylife **
On 09/21/08 at 8:52 am
Trista said:
I completely understand. I am about to move away from my entire local inner-circle and I am actually quite scared about it. Will I be able to find a new circle in my new state?
So you will have to let me know how your experiment goes…I might be reenacting it in 9 months or so!
On 09/21/08 at 8:57 am
Carol said:
I don’t think the energy between you and your local circle will change. My experience has been that locality does not generate the closeness. It’s an element of it’s own.
If we find the key to finding local quality friends, you can bet I’ll be making copies and sharing it with everyone!
On 09/21/08 at 9:16 am
Karri said:
“I am about to move away from my entire local inner-circle and I am actually quite scared about it.”
UMMMM…I think I might need to go vomit! Apparently, I’ve been in complete denial and I really CAN’T deal with this right now!
FUCK ME! Ya, I said it, what?
On 09/21/08 at 9:18 am
Trista said:
I am still half convinced that I will be able to talk you into coming with us!
A girl can dream…
On 09/21/08 at 9:56 am
Carol said:
It is NINE months away, Karri….I think you are allowed some denial until 2009!
On 09/21/08 at 8:34 am
~Lori~ said:
Interesting concept, I have two best friends one here local of 28 years, and the other of three years but lives half way across the country. The first, our schedules limit what time we have together and obviously the latter, it’s because of distance. I have met a few via myspace, but you might meet up once or twice. Some close, some at a distance, of course the ones at a distance seem to be the ones I get well along with, makes you wonder a little bit doesn’t it? But the fact is everyone is busy with their lives, and stepping into a friendship is harder when we are older. As women we are so set in our ways, plus not as trusting, I’m sorry but have come across to many, “treacherous” females, as I am sure many other women have. Trusting when it comes to females seems harder for us than as men. If you are single, then a married/in a relationship type of woman, they are not usually too trusting especially, or you are a third wheel persay. I’m not interested in someone that is a airhead, gold digger, self-absorbed, etc. You want to meet someone like-minded to a degree with some intelligence. In my case that has been few and far between, so I tend just to keep to myself nowadays. Makes it a little lonely, when you want to go hear some music, which is one of my favorite outlets to relax. Good luck and let us know how that works for you.
On 09/21/08 at 8:47 am
Carol said:
Exactly! You nailed it, Lori. It makes it a little difficult to go grab live music when you only have two options. In my case, there are exactly two people in my day to day life who are “good” options.
I’m with you, I have no interest in a bullshit “lets just drink and talk nonsense” kind of social outlet. I would much prefer to drink with my true friends. I want substance. I’m convinced it is out there…somewhere…in my area code!
On 09/21/08 at 9:12 am
~Lori~ said:
I still go listen to live bands, just sit off by myself, when I can’t take being cooped up anymore. But it so much better to have gal-friend to cut up, and dance with. I spent this summer in TX, and crammed a ton of that in with my gf in there in 7 weeks, making up for two years being gone, now I’m hitting withdrawals.
On 09/21/08 at 9:58 am
Carol said:
Oh, I have NO problem going anywhere by myself. Sometimes, I prefer it. But, I think I am suffering similar withdrawals, as well. I had three friends visit me from out of town in July. It’s been almost two months and I am just missing them terribly!
What part of Texas? I know amazing women in Texas you should meet your next trip!
On 09/22/08 at 4:24 am
~Lori~ said:
NE Texas, right on Lake Texoma, just twenty minutes from the OK border
On 09/21/08 at 8:36 am
Justice said:
Ohhh….good luck!! I’m no help because I truly suck in the friend arena. I do occasionally get lucky and have man (read: new hottie muscle bound french man) fall into my lap though. I’ve never been the one to really have a group of girlfriends that I hang out with though. Time doesn’t really allow for that anyhow. Like me, I think people get wrapped up with their lives. They lose touch with the little things that are important in life, like friends. I know a good few handfuls of women and most of them are homebodies with their husbands and have no real friends to speak of. So, we network online LOL
On 09/21/08 at 8:49 am
Carol said:
I don’t think you suck in the friend arena. I think you are right about how busy life can be, in general. We network when and where we can…and for me, like you, that does involve the internet. I would be lost without it!
I still crave to have another two or three people that would regularly mix well with those I already know and hold dear to my heart. Group dynamics are just…well, fun!
On 09/21/08 at 8:55 am
Meghan said:
I have several small circles…rather than one huge one. I like it that way. While I am ‘me’ in each and every one of those groupings I really gain as an individual by having such a varied group of friends who I love for their own individuality.
This is not to say I treat life like a buffet, pick and choose based on what I am feeling; but it’s nice to know I have someone I can call if I want to go climb a mountain, and someone I can call if I want to take an art class.
I think I had a bad college experience in that we had these forced dormitory lives, and huge groups. It was exhausting and there was a real lack of honesty there. Were we all really ‘friends’, or collectively acquainted?
I’ve met friends in Starbucks, libraries and just walking the same route to work everyday. It’s always a pleasant experience to know we are all just out there, isn’t it?
On 09/21/08 at 9:00 am
Carol said:
*sigh* I used to have several smaller circles, for much the same reason. I don’t want to box anyone into anything! But, I do enjoy the energy of adding new individuals to a group.
I think you are right about the collective experience in college. I think it is, inherently, less honest. But, I am convinced that some day I’ll meet a similar soul while I have my lunch at Panera, or wherever. It just seems very odd to me how difficult it has been to meet quality people I want to know better.
On 09/21/08 at 9:45 am
Meghan said:
It comes and goes for me as well. Doing what I do for a living, it feels like some of my best friends are 10 and under! Not too many adults in my world on a day to day - at least not in the way there would be if I worked in an office setting, etc.
I have found friends through learning, taking a class or an art. I took an Nighttime Irish Lit Course and loved the company I kept. A great friend sprang out of that, and we have already had that shared experience.
On 09/21/08 at 10:00 am
Carol said:
Bingo…there is a brilliant idea. Maybe once we are out of Fall ball, I will find a class of interest to join. In fact, that is the perfect idea!
Sadly,I was exited about starting my new job, in part, to meet new people. I’ve met two great women in my group…but the building is so secure, I can’t meet anyone else!
On 09/21/08 at 9:21 am
Squish said:
It is Sunday. I have Irish and football to attend to. *coughcough* But I wanted to say hi and let you know I was here.
On 09/21/08 at 9:42 am
Carol said:
LOL…you rock, especially to squeeze me in between Irish and football. The only thing MORE of a compliment would be to have you squeeze me in between UNC basketball and Irish!
We will talk *ahem* tomorrow…you pick the time and text me. I’ll make myself available.
On 09/21/08 at 3:08 pm
Squish said:
phone is dead. i am drunk and not going home tonight to charge it. I leave work at three tomorrow and ill have a new battery inby 4. I’ll call you then. <3
On 09/21/08 at 3:53 pm
Carol said:
I will plan to take a break at 4…
On 09/21/08 at 9:52 am
teri~michelle said:
Carol we are so likeminded its scary crazy woman! I did the same thing. I went looking through myspace for women who are single, my age, yadda yadda yadda..just looking to have some female friends to hang out with and have a good time. Two of the 6 I found that would match me in personality and so on, replied. One thought I was weird for looking for friends that way, and the other..sent a hello and never responded again.
Like you said, it seems women over the age of 35 don’t want to expand their girlfriend circle. Is it because they are afraid by inviting women in to have fun with they are increasing the competition in which they would have to compete with? I dont know. But if that is the reason then I feel truly sorry for them. Men will come and go, that is fact…but having great women friends whom you can count on and can share laughs with are rare and priceless.
I hope you find what you seek..>I’ll be thinking on a synopsis and will get back to you…You know if I were in the area I’d be there…every single week with my recipe book too..AHAHHAHA
love you sunshine! to the wall!
xoxo
On 09/21/08 at 10:03 am
Carol said:
I know! We talked about this subject a while ago. It is STILL on my mind! Seems things tend to stay until I make some progress…ANY progress! I had the same lack o’ responsivenes.
Seriously, I wonder if it is a competitive thing. I mean, really. If that is the case, perhaps I should put together a resume of great men I could introduce them to! Only then, they arent’ really the kind of women I want to befriend anyway.
Enjoy your Italian Beef today. It makes me happy to know my first article as a regular writer here has landed a place in your family ritual.
I love you, too. To the wall and back, baby!
On 09/21/08 at 2:59 pm
teri~michelle said:
the competitive thing is what I think. And like you, if that’s what they are worried about then they aren’t people I want to be friends with anyway. That just screams of insecurity and no thanks. I’ve had enough of the insecure drama to last me a lifetime, not too mention cat fights. Another thing that makes me cringe is thinking I’d bring a group of women into my home to befriend and heart them (care) and just end up with a group of women who would just as soon stab me in the back. I don’t have to go out and invite that home…yanno?
It’s sad that we can’t meet more women who are “tribal” close to us. I think they are out there ..maybe just too afraid to reach out or answer the call when they hear it.
hmmm dunno…but something has got to give. I don’t want to get into my 40’s and not have a single local girlfriend I can let my hair down with…the thought is just sad.
Maybe by then I’ll be in TN…*heh* and at your table!
IFLU2! To the wall and back, baby ;o)
On 09/21/08 at 3:05 pm
teri~michelle said:
oh crap the ad….*ahahah* here goes:
*****************************************************
Wanted: funny, intelligent, willing to brave life and LIVE it women who are not afraid to laugh. Looking to find like-minded women in the local area who enjoy a good meal and great conversation whether it be around someone’s kitchen table or in a bar with a couple of beers. Looking to build and/or expand new and existing friendships that have the potential of being great lifetime friendships. If interested please contact ………….. drama queens need not apply.
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I don’t know woman…its a start…*ahaha* I’d answer it..but then I’d answer any call you make ;o)
On 09/21/08 at 3:55 pm
Carol said:
LOVE IT! I will see what else floats in and tell you when it’s on my POF ad!
*sings* TM may get a toy…TM may get a toy
On 09/21/08 at 9:53 am
E said:
I think people are closed off because we live in a society where the news media exploits fear - people don’t drop by to visit their neighbors any more - they’re too busy looking up whether or not their neighbors are sexual predators on the internet. I’ve lived in this house five months and I’ve barely exchanged more than a wave and a nod to any of my neighbors. My kindly next-door neighbor returned my dogs and nailed my fence back up when the fence had a board come loose and my dogs (who, unlike us, are eager to make friends) charged into his yard. People need to cast away their fear of getting close to others.
On 09/21/08 at 10:05 am
Carol said:
I’ve lived in my new house six weeks. My kids already know the kids next door. We smile, we banter. But, my neighbors are not the sort to be “adult friends”.
Casting away fear is tough for a lot of people. I get it. I can even empathize with it. But, it seems to me, at some point, we are missing LIVING life!
As one of the wonderful people in my life has said many times…everything we want is on the other side of fear. I believe that…passionately!
On 09/21/08 at 11:21 am
E said:
One of my favorite sayings is
“the brick walls we encounter aren’t there to keep us out. they’re there to show us how much we want something. the walls are there to weed out the OTHER people.”
On 09/21/08 at 12:50 pm
Carol said:
See…there is a wall I am willing to crash into! The funny thing is, on this subject, it matters…but it’s not wall crashing worthy to me. I will devote time and energy to making progress or making a new friend. But, I refuse to let this be the thing that takes over everything else which matters to me.
There is balance there, right?
On 09/21/08 at 5:53 pm
Dr. Joker said:
“the brick walls we encounter aren’t there to keep us out. they’re there to show us how much we want something. the walls are there to weed out the OTHER people.”
Sometimes, they are just there to say “Where the hell ya goin’, dummy? Try using a door next time.”
I think Deepak Chopra said this once.