Killer Instincts?
April 7, 2008 · Print This Article
So this morning I sat and stared at a photograph on a website for ten minutes…trying to see if I could detect evil in a set of wild brown eyes.
This is Kiama Paez. She recently beat her infant son to the brink of death. Why? She needed him to stop crying, and he just wouldn’t.
The case horrified me, but it also got me to thinking. We all remember Andrea Yates drowning her five children in the bath tub because Satan told her it was the thing to do. But would you believe that of the 49 women currently on Death Row, 11 of them are there for killing their offspring? The gentler sex, responsible for only 15% of all violent crimes, plays a part in more than 50% of all filicides.
And this is not as uncommon an occurrence as you and I would care to believe. Somewhere between 200-500 women kill their own children every year here in America. And if you add in the potential of some “accidental deaths” of babies possibly not being so accidental you realize we have a serious societal issue here.
What drives a woman to harm or even kill their own child? All crimes against children by their mothers cannot be lumped together; but there is a large number that share a common thread: Postpartum Depression.
Postpartum issues are much more common than most people realize. Somewhere around 80% of new mothers experience at least mild depression within the first year after giving birth. But for about 20% of these mothers, the depression can be more severe. And for a smaller group, it can escalate to treacherous levels, causing some women to experience postpartum psychosis, which can end in tragedy.
I remember those first difficult weeks with newborns and I recall the challenges of the entire first years. It was no easy adjustment, and anyone who has their own little ones knows that. But I do not recall ever wanting to harm my children, or ever being so frustrated that I wanted to be rid of them.
However, I had supportive people to give me relief, and listen, and tell me it was all going to be okay. To assure me that it was perfectly natural to lay with my baby and cry when I was on my third day with no sleep, dealing with his colic while dizzy with my own exhaustion. I had my mother, my father, and my experienced friends there to let me know these days would pass and it would get easier. I knew my babies and I were in an adjustment period of sorts.
What if I hadn’t had that?
- What if I had been alone, with night after night of screaming without end?
- What if I had no one to make sure that I at least got a moment or two to myself, to breathe, clear my head, have a break?
- What if on top of the fatigue, the confusion, the frustration, I also had to worry about not having money, food, a roof over my head?
- What if I had been beat down my entire life, so much and so often that it was second nature to me?
- What if I was slipping into mental illness, my cries for help falling on deaf ears?
Now I don’t think I could hurt one of my children, ever. They are my lifeblood, my joy, my sorrow, my reason. They are the breath that fills my lungs. I believe that no matter how despairing a turn my life took I would put them first and keep them safe at all costs. I believe that because the alternative is to look into the eyes of someone who has become a monster and try to understand…
And I can’t do that.
But should we judge, while never having stood in their shoes?
I am not in any way saying that these women should be excused for what they have done. What I am saying is that we, as a nation, do not give enough attention to this form of mental illness, or mental illness in general. In many of these cases, these women had gotten to a point where they were not concerning themselves with right versus wrong. They were suffering, and they wanted the suffering to stop. So they acted and the results are disgusting, heartbreaking, and impossible to understand.
It’s time to face the seriousness of postpartum depression. It’s time to let women know how common it is, and that they are not alone. It’s time to make support and help readily available. Because if we continue to focus on punishment rather than prevention who ultimately has to pay the price for our lack of action? The babies.
Sorry for the bummer topic today, folks…I know I might have just spoiled the commenting fun. But it got me all worked up yesterday, I had to do it. And now I turn to you. Any of you have any experience with this anywhere in your lives? Or you can just share with your opinions…I can’t imagine any of you not having one on this subject…
On 04/7/08 at 5:50 am
Trista said:
Wow, I knew this one was serious…but you guys have nada to say? Come argue with me, tell me you want them put down like rabid dogs…something.
On 04/9/08 at 11:30 am
El Vic-o Grande said:
Tom Cruise would so slap you.
On 04/7/08 at 5:54 am
Cassie said:
I have never had kids…..but can never imagine harming one…not even children who are not my own!
I do not understand, and don’t know if I ever could!!!!
On 04/7/08 at 5:59 am
Trista said:
No, I do not think it is something anyone can understand…even the ones doing it in the case of the the postpartum psychosis. I am by no means excusing it, but I do bot think they understand what’s going on within them.
All that said, the woman above punched her 7 week old in the face. No matter how sick she is that makes me want to punch her in the face.
As you can see, I am conflicted on this issue.
On 04/7/08 at 6:31 am
Cassie said:
not so conflicted for me…having never experienced it…punching her would be an easy off for her, if I was involved!
On 04/7/08 at 6:44 am
Trista said:
I understand and relate, because hurting a helpless baby is something disgusting that we cannot fathom. But she is surely mentally ill…so is hurting her the right retaliation? I know it’s the natural reaction…but is it right? Or do we just not care at this point?
On 04/7/08 at 7:01 am
Cassie said:
now, why you want to try to make me think on a Monday?!?!?!?
I would say, it really depends on whether or not ’she’ is remorseful about what ’she’ has done.
If not then, I say stone the bitch to death, I know it is harsh, but it’s how I feel.
If she is remorseful, getting her help just might make a difference, but could ‘we’ ever trust her with kids again? I don’t know!
On 04/7/08 at 8:00 am
Trista said:
I guess my issue is…what if they are too sick to be remorseful? What do we do with the people like that? Of course they shouldn’t have babies, they probably shouldn’t even be out in society…but where does that leave us…and them?
And on the flip side, reason of insanity is not a viable defense if you can show remorse…because then you are often deemed to know right from wrong. You may have not known in that moment, but there is no way to prove it now, so you are gonna fry.
The mental illness aspect just concerns me, a whole lot. We don’t seem to give it a whole lot of care or concern in this country.
On 04/7/08 at 8:07 am
Cassie said:
see, my take on it is you have to be ’sick’ to do any of this….a little OFF to hurt anyone, much less a child.
That is one of the reasons I think an insanity defense is soo effin STUPID. no one in their right mind would kill or hurt another person, but that does not mean they should not be punished, mentally ill or not!!!
are we ‘arguing’ the same point? not too sure.
On 04/7/08 at 8:13 am
Trista said:
I think we both agree that the people that do this are in fact mentally ill.
Where we differ lies in what to do with them. You are clear on how you feel…I am not so sure. I think putting them in jail for life might not necessarily be the best solution. but I also see that in our society it’s kind of the only solutions. Mental institutions are not too plentiful. Besides, both those solutions means our tax dollars are keeping them fed, clothed, housed and medicated. Is that fair?
There is always the death penalty…but we do not use that one all too often these days…but is it better? Are they, like I said in my first comment, a rabid dog that needs to be put down?
Sometimes I wonder…
On 04/7/08 at 6:30 am
Brett Summers said:
WOW This is bizarre that we blogged on a similar subject on the same day. Especially since I havent blogged in months. Wow, I truly believe things like this happen for a reason. Maybe I needed to see that link to get some help.
I must say though in no way shape or form am I as bad as the women on death row THANK GOD. I would NEVER harm my children. My depression is harming me but could never push me to the insane limit of abusing my beautiful little girls. I can understand how some women may get to that point but thankfully, I am not one of them.
“They are my lifeblood, my joy, my sorrow, my reason. They are the breath that fills my lungs.”
Exactly….beautiful….perfectly said. Thank you for posting this Trista.
On 04/7/08 at 6:42 am
Trista said:
I think postpartum depression and postpartum psychosis are vastly different. I think it takes previous mental issues to experience the psychosis. Which means that perhaps this sort of thing could be prevented with screening…something to think about.
In your case though, you just need to get help for YOU. Because from what I have read, it looks like the more serious postpartum depression like you are experiencing can hang on for months and months, effecting your day to day. And you don’t need that. You are a wonderful mom with two fantastic kids, and you need to get this junk out of your system so you can get back to focusing on that.
Much love, thank you for coming over…and being brave enough to share…
On 04/7/08 at 7:11 am
Karri said:
I’ve been very open and honest about my desire to have a child, but I have to tell you Trista, after reading this I must seriously contemplate if I would be able to do it alone. Having battled bouts of depression in my past, not only was this informative and eye-opening, but it scared the beejesus out of me! What if I, the one who longed for and wanted nothing more than a child of my own, became one of them? I am certainly not saying that I could ever fathom harming my child, but, what if…
Does anyone even think of those possibilities? Where’s the education? Where’s the support?
On 04/7/08 at 7:55 am
Trista said:
It really bothers me that no one is seriously warning women about the possibilities as they leave the hospital with their babies. If it affects 80%, don’t you think we should be sending these women home with pamphlets of info with support numbers??
Not to mention the fact that during those 9 months leading up to the birth, you are at the doctors office what feels like CONSTANTLY. What a perfect time to get in some mental health screening / counseling.
Ya know??
On 04/7/08 at 8:19 am
Karri said:
I really am naive to this subject, but aren’t there some sort of non-profit social workers assigned to women at risk? Another thought is that there is such a sigma attached to mental illness, that perhaps these women aren’t facing their own realities and divulging all of their medical history, preventing physicians from being aware of the potential risks.
On 04/7/08 at 8:32 am
Trista said:
“perhaps these women aren’t facing their own realities and divulging all of their medical history, preventing physicians from being aware of the potential risks.”
~that is a really good point. That and the fact that many of these women come from poor socioeconomic status…they often times do not even realize they are sick. How often can a schizophrenic recognize that they are one?
On 04/8/08 at 6:14 am
Hater of all things but children said:
Or maybe a hormonal embalance occurs out of the blue? I’m no woman and have never given birth but I’ve been told that “adjustment” time is needed.
On 04/8/08 at 8:09 am
Trista said:
A hormonal balance definitely occurs, in all women after birth. Period. But when it is too much for your body to work out on it’s own, that is when you need medical help. Some women remain depressed for YEARS, not realizing that help is a doctors visit away.
THAT is a problem.
On 04/7/08 at 8:12 am
PrincessQ said:
I just got here. I want to thank you for pouring out YOUR heart to address an issue, that you’re right, isn’t one that gets ENOUGH attention. We hear about PD after combat, etc but no one really talks about how newborns affect mothers.
We all know that there’s a lack of education PERIOD in this country. There’s no excusing what these women did but there needs to be responsibility taken by the administration.
This, among other reasons, is why I don’t think I’ll have kids even though I REALLY want to. Unless I know that I’ll be secure and be able to give my kid the best life that I possibly can, I won’t bring a child into this world to suffer.
On 04/7/08 at 8:15 am
Trista said:
Thanks for taking the time to come over and comment, I know you are swamped. =)
“There’s no excusing what these women did but there needs to be responsibility taken by the administration.”
~Exactly. We are a punishment society…where’s the prevention??
On 04/7/08 at 8:17 am
El Supremo said:
Yes, we should judge and judge harshly. This is just another area of Western civilization wherein we’re not killing enough people. I don’t give a flying red rat’s ass about postpartum depression, honestly. If you’re to the point where the merest THOUGHT of harming a child seems like a good idea, it’s time for us as a society to do the world a favor and kill you immediately. Not in a humane fashion, either. It’s time to bring back the gallows.
On 04/7/08 at 8:23 am
Trista said:
You are sooooo… a younger version of my father, it’s eerie.
And guess what, I actually agree with you, in a way. I think that people that are mentally damaged enough to be killing kids might need to be “put down like dogs” to quote my dad, just as I feel that way about people mentally ill enough to molest kids, rape the elderly, murder etc. over and over and over. If they cannot be rehabilitated what else can we as a society do?
But I guess my point in this post is, rather than find out the ugly way that someone is fucked up, shouldn’t we be doing some type of preventative action?
On 04/8/08 at 7:32 am
El Supremo said:
Nothing prevents deranged behavior like killing idiots before they have a chance to strike. Come on. You can spot a scumbag a mile off. But if you’re not into preemptive killin’, here’s a handy list of things we should kill people for after the fact:
Murder
Rape
Treason
Child molestation
Injury to a child
Adultery
Incest
If I had my way, the following would also be punishable by death:
Draining wetlands
Driving slow in the left lane
Owning cats
Wearing baggy pants
Living in San Francisco
On 04/8/08 at 8:11 am
Trista said:
And how shall we kill them? Are we bringing back stoning?
PS…I lived in San Francisco…but I hated it…so can I live?
On 04/8/08 at 9:37 am
Cassie said:
I will second all of these, except the owning cats….and yet, if you hated it, you can live!! LOL
On 04/7/08 at 8:26 am
chomsky at the bit said:
Anyone convicted of murder should be subject to the consequences of theit states laws to the fullest extent.
However, I believe she’s arguing for more transparencey for potential mothers on the subject of post partum depression as well as a network of officials willing to delve into possible treatments…before it escalates to this level.
On 04/7/08 at 8:31 am
Trista said:
Yeah…pretty much. Thanks, Chom.
On 04/8/08 at 6:31 am
Hater of all things but children said:
You are a grade A dumbass. I couldn’t disagree with you more! Killing people that kill people dosen’t solve nor prevent homicide, niether will your idea. What we need to do is seriously rethink our roles in helping our fellow human beings. If people would take the time out to check up on their neighbors maybe some of those deaths could be averted. I say that because here down south I’ve met and talked to most if not all the neighbors in a three block radius. I couldn’t name more then three I knew when I left San Diego. Also, the role of schools in EVERY students mental well being needs to be rethought. And before you ask where these people who do this will come from or the funds, think of the homeless for one and the money we BORROW to pay for the war on terror.
On 04/8/08 at 7:38 am
El Supremo said:
Help our fellow human beings, eh? That’s the problem with you touchy-feely dumbass liberal types. You cannot identify when someone just flat needs killin’. I don’t view the death penalty as a deterrent. I couldn’t care less if the death penalty has one ounce of deterrent effect or not. What I care about is if someone is so fucked up that they can drown a child, cut the arms off their infant or put their infant in the microwave (all of which have happened in the last couple of years), then we as a society have ZERO use for that person’s continuing existence. No $100,000 “humane” execution. String those fuckers up by the neck until they’re dead. Rope’s cheap. I also find it humorous in a “you’re a sad, predictable little liberal turd” kind of way that you brought the war into this. The derangement of liberals always makes their tiny little brains fly home to that issue whether or not it is even germane to the discussion at hand. You amuse me.
On 04/8/08 at 8:02 am
Hater of all things but children said:
I’m anything but liberal! I find it hilarious you think I am because 1. I don’t believe in murder, and 2. I “brought up” the war. It was merely an example of a large expendature our government “borrows” money to pay for. These people needed help at some point. Your lazy ass attitude is to react rather then to prevent. These people’s existance is needed, if not for anything else as to EDUCATE OTHERS! I also find it funny you “crass conservative cowards” are so combative over the fucking internet. You gonna pull the trigger or do the hanging? Fuck no! Unless it’s some defenseless person. You are also too stupid to realize having a smaller brain would actually make you smarter, the synapses being closer and eletric impulses… never mind. Keep up the cyber thuggery it suits men of your ilk.
On 04/8/08 at 6:47 pm
Chris said:
“Killing people that kill people dosen’t [sic] solve nor prevent homicide…”
.
Maybe not, but it sure does reduce the rate of recidivism… and your idea of “spy on thy neighbor” smacks of the methods used by the KGB, Nazis, and HUAC. NOT the kind of world I want to live in.
.
Before you say child molesters should be ratted out, let me ask this: Once you start, where do you stop? Do you rat your neighbor for puffing a blunt on Labor Day weekend? How about for re-wiring a light socket without a permit?
.
Furthermore, what’s to stop someone from making a false accusation against you because they’re pissed off that you don’t mow your front lawn often enough for their liking and are dragging down their property value?
.
No. Bad idea. There’s just too much potential for abuse.
On 04/8/08 at 7:44 pm
Hater of all things but children said:
I said “check up on” as in “talk to” your neighbors. As in actually caring enough to inquire about there well being. I NEVER ONCE advocated “ratting” on anyone. Besides to be a “rat” you have to be coconspirator in their criminal act. I just reread what I wrote and I can’t fathom how’d you gleaned telling on ones neighbor. As for recidivism, what about the repeated act of the state killing it’s citizens? That’s assuming “homicide” is the disease, since I have to clarify each statement.
On 04/8/08 at 8:10 pm
Chris said:
All right, I’ll grant you my own assumption of informing authorities, as opposed to offering your own assistance.
.
I do take issue with your other statements, though. You do not have to be a “co-conspirator” to “rat.” You only need knowledge.
.
“The state killing its citizens” is a loaded way of describing state-sanctioned execution, after conviction by a jury of peers, AND sentencing recommendations. Homicide need not be a “disease” (a term used ALL TOO frequently for things folks want excused - the “it’s not my fault, I have ADD excuse, for example) to justify execution.
On 04/8/08 at 8:29 pm
Hater of all things but children said:
I don’t believe in the death penalty because sometimes juries are loaded and the DA is wrong. I believe that one innocent person losing their life is the worst miscarriage of justice possible. I know it rarely happens but you can’t get that life back. People falsely accused of rape can’t get their lives back. While shitbags like Kobe, MJ and OJ walk free.
I’m in no way saying that homicide should be excused. I’m saying that it is a mental defect for most. Whether it is a rage issue or someone being too young or stupid to properly value life. I just think that people can be redeemed even it takes a life time.
On 04/8/08 at 9:03 pm
Chris said:
We are going to have to agree to disagree, because the victims of homicide can’t get their lives back, either… and they didn’t even have the luxury of that trial the (to use your term) “shitbag” got. Said shitbag made the decision… the choice… to take another’s life. Now that is arrogance. You want redemption? Talk to God about that when you get there. You should have sought help before you made the choice to kill.
.
BTW… Kobe was falsely accused. The shitbag in that case was the gold-digging front desk clerk who went after (and got) a fling with an NBA star, then tried to dip her hand into his deep pockets by falsely accusing him of rape.
On 04/7/08 at 8:22 am
chomsky at the bit said:
If we are to make postpartum depression an issue of consequence in America …we must first kill Tom Cruise.
In all seriousness we have along way to go in this country towards the treatment of all mental illness. Support and therapy are often insufficiently reduced to prescription drugs. They can effect people in radically different ways and authorities and family members have little ability to seek help for those suffering in most states if they do not consent to their own treatment.
We’re flawed… but it’s getting better…slowly but surely.
On 04/7/08 at 8:26 am
Trista said:
All hail Brook Shields.
You are right (of course) and you probably know a lot more about what kind of strides we are making as a country in this department.
But it’s still frustrating. How hard would it be to distribute info to women letting them know how common and how serious postpartum depression is? And perhaps you know this: would pre-screening be possible…to identify those at risk for postpartum psychosis BEFORE the give birth?
On 04/7/08 at 10:37 am
chomsky at the bit said:
Mandatory pre-screening could help if it was legal. As of now mental health is a solely private matter…until something akin to the scenario recounted above takes place. There are no ways around the privacy issues…and no way to compel psychological or psychiatric treatment unless the subject in question is an immediate threat to the welfare of themselves or others…weather by exhibiting extemporaneous signs of violence or a documented history of such occurrences.
In some state and federal prisons… medicines aren’t even allowed to be delivered to severely afflicted patients without their consent…even though they don’t have the right to refuse medical attention for physical health needs.
So pre-screening would have to be a totally voluntary thing…and you would need appropriate medical staff…not many hospitals have an adequate number of mental health professionals.
It’s possible, though someone would have to twist some arms to make this register on a national level. Mental illness is still seen as a personal problem…not a disease… but it’s getting better.
As far as the distributing of pamphlets…the information would be easy enough to circulate if hospitals would comply with requests to do so. Most hospitals are private business entities who could make that decision at anytime if they so chose.
State funded hospitals would have a few more sticking points with mandatory issuing of any type of literature.
On 04/7/08 at 8:28 am
Hezzy said:
I don’t have children yet, but it’s good to know what could happen. Thanks for putting this out, T. I know some people who dismiss PD entirely. It’s time we all learned not to make superficial assumptions and help women going through this the best we can. For the mothers, and especially for the babies. Thanks again.
On 04/7/08 at 8:29 am
Trista said:
Exactly…for the babies.
Thanks for coming over, Hezzy. =)
On 04/7/08 at 10:49 am
Meghan said:
Thank you for posting this.
I nanny and have nannyed for newborns straight from their first day. I’ve witnessed post partum depression first hand and it IS an illness. I know a mother who is extraordinary in every way - but for the first 3 months she could barely life her head off the pillow. Hearing a newborn cry for 10 minutes when they have an earache is maddening to me and I’m wonderful at my job AND get to go home at 7pm.
On 04/8/08 at 8:36 am
Trista said:
“Hearing a newborn cry for 10 minutes when they have an earache is maddening to me and I’m wonderful at my job AND get to go home at 7pm.”
Exactly!! There is nothing like the cry of a newborn…it can get under your skin like nothing else.
On 04/7/08 at 11:26 am
Goodbye Kitty said:
Thank you for posting on such an impotant topic that seems to be repeatedly overlooked in our society. I find this so upsetting and quite frankly I don’t understand why people don’t seem to have a problem with mental health screenings before purchasing guns… but having a child?!!?!? Now don’t get me wrong I personally don’t have a problem at all with screenings being required before purchasing deadly weapons, but isn’t protecting infants from mentally ill mothers just as important as protecting students in universities from mentally ill gunmen?
On 04/8/08 at 8:39 am
Trista said:
I agree. It bothers me that it is considered an invasion for a doctor to even ask about a mother-to-be’s mental state…are you kidding me?
On 04/7/08 at 11:27 am
-Dallas- said:
I think Postpartum Depression stems from a subconscious feeling of a loss of self that some mothers develop while carrying a child. Everything revolves around the child in the womb, lifestyle, diet, family, finances thoughts and emotions. Mix that in with the months of discomfort, fear of loss of the child, fear of labor and drastic hormonal changes, I can see how the subconscious mind might cause a mother to withdraw and perhaps even resent their own child to the point of harm. That’s my 2 cents but I’m sure I’m no where close to what a mother dealing with Postpartum Depression really feels.
-Dallas-
On 04/8/08 at 7:03 am
Trista said:
I think you have a great point. I also think the two biggest factors are complete exhaustion (which comes from having a newborn ) and those drastic hormonal changes you speak of. There are definitely other factors, but those are the biggest contributors, it appears.
On 04/7/08 at 9:44 pm
troy said:
your children are your Reason.
thats awesome!
On 04/8/08 at 7:03 am
Trista said:
They are awesome. =)
On 04/7/08 at 9:55 pm
Rex said:
GAH! Too many epic comments to read! I ain’t reading all of ‘em! :p
Of course I can never truly know exactly what the underlying reason is for a woman who kills her own child. I believe from my studies that Postpartum Depression and filicide are mutually exclusive. By the way, some men can have postpartum as well.
POSTNATAL PSYCHOSIS is most likely what you meant to correlate with the killings. Those affected by it already had a developing psychotic break, or were diagnosed with bi-polar disorder or chronic depression. Women who suffer that form of psychosis see their child(ren) as a threat to their livelihood/survival.
As for the perception of the woman after the fact, I don’t know… there is only so much pity and sympathy I can give her. Susan Smith was the worst.
ANYWAYS. All I know is Karri better not do anything crazy! I don’t wanna donate if she’ll forget to feed Rex Jr.
On 04/8/08 at 6:49 am
Trista said:
What you are calling postnatal psychosis is most likely what a lot of my sources were calling postpartum psychosis.
But I have also heard of women who are just suffering from extremem postpartum depression getting frustrated and tired and desperate enough to shake their babies and things of that nature so I think that it is still a bigger issue than you give it credit for.
On 04/8/08 at 5:54 am
Hater of all things but children said:
I can totally sympathize with women on this one. I lived with my brother when he started taking care of his son at two months. I LOVED watching the little bundle of joy. I changed diapers, bathed, fed and soothed him to give my brother a break. And at the same time it took me a while to grasp why his mom would let him go for 3 years. I think that the support systems of the past need a recessitation. My grandparents raised us until my parents where “mature” enough. And that basically took my Grandmother Margret dying. My mom, bless her, took time off from us all the time. There were 5 of us boys, by the time she was 24! Eight years from oldest to youngest. It’s just pains me that we as a society can’t give/set aside resources to help council every person who needs it.
As for our country’s history with mental illness, it is sad. The second or third day down here, we went into New Orleans. There was this massive tent city, which I thought were displaced residents or homeless people. Wrong! It’s mental patients that have no wards to go to. And no one cares.
On 04/8/08 at 8:41 am
Trista said:
“It’s mental patients that have no wards to go to. And no one cares.”
~Very true. There just aren’t enough resources. And most people do NOT want to spend their tax dollars on strangers that suffer from mental illness.
On 04/8/08 at 6:24 am
Balancing Good & Evil Daily said:
Trista, I tried to come comment yesterday but it wouldn’t let me in. As far as the post-partum issue goes, it is horrible. Doctors do not discuss it with their patients for the most post, so people don’t know what signs to look for. We never had to deal wit those issues as Good & Evil are both adopted, but The Hawaiian certainly suffered from depression while Good was an infant. The reality is that often times people aren’t aware of what is going on emotionally with them, and do not see a change. It took me forcing The Hawaiian to see the doctor for her to understand that there was actually a problem. I don’t know what to say about ways to control it, but certainly regular appointments with a psychologist for follow up after giving birth wouldn’t be out of line.
On 04/8/08 at 8:43 am
Trista said:
“It took me forcing The Hawaiian to see the doctor for her to understand that there was actually a problem.”
~and thank goodness she had you. Many women, (see the two in my blog, for instance) have no one that is going to encourage them to seek help for their problem. There is such a stigma attached to mental issues in America.
On 04/8/08 at 7:20 am
cherie said:
This is a bad topic for me. While I think that PPD is very real, it is treatable.
I lost my only child to a genetic disease. I had to helplessly watch him die every day for over a year.
I love him so much. I would never hurt him. I knew from the age of two months he would die yet I never wavered in my care and love of him.
I was not able to ever have any other children either.
So, women who hurt perfectly healthy kids… if they aren’t mentally ill, they could just be evil. There is no excuse. There is medicine. Free clinics. Save Havens.
No reason in this world to harm a baby.
On 04/8/08 at 8:19 am
Trista said:
First off, I am so very sorry…I cannot imagine. And I thank you for bravely sharing with us all.
And yes, it is absolutely treatable, you are right. I just think when it comes to certain women who are uneducated on the subject, they might not know that what is going on is normal, and that they can and should reach out for help. I just think that our society has a responsibility to educate…before it’s too late. I had two kids, reputable hospitals, with the frequent doctors visits leading up to the births, and not once did anyone warn me about postpartum depression. It should be a mandatory talk you receive from health care providers. It just isn’t talked about enough.
On 04/8/08 at 9:02 am
Goodbye Kitty said:
I also tried to comment yesterday, but I wasn’t able to.
Thank you for posting on such an impotant topic that seems to be repeatedly overlooked in our society. I find this so upsetting and quite frankly I don’t understand why people don’t seem to have a problem with mental health screenings before purchasing guns… but having a child?!!?!? Now don’t get me wrong I personally don’t have a problem at all with screenings being required before purchasing deadly weapons, but isn’t protecting infants from mentally ill mothers just as important as protecting students in universities from mentally ill gunmen?
I agree 100% that there is a lack of education in our country, in all things, but especially when it comes to mental illness. I personally believe that mental inllness should be given the same importance level as physical health; lack of attention to either can be deadly…
On 04/8/08 at 9:20 am
Goodbye Kitty said:
well apparently I was wrong
yesterday’s comment did go through, now don’t I look like an idiot!
On 04/8/08 at 9:58 am
Trista said:
not at all, yesterday the site was a mess! Thanks for coming back, we usually aren’t like that!
And I like what to added, and I agree. Mental health is so important, and too often ignored in our country.