Lick me, don’t kiss me
June 26, 2008 · Print This Article
Dear Eve,
A woman I have been dating off and on loves when I give her oral. My problem is that as soon as I move up to kiss her after she’s had an orgasm she turns away. I’m wondering if it has something to do with her squirting. She is the first lover I ever had that does this. It surprised the heck out of me the first time but now I love it when I feel her squirt, especially during penetration. There is no taste to it so it does not bother me and I can’t understand why it would bother her that I want to kiss her after oral sex. A few guys I talked to about this problem said just stop giving her oral. I do not think that is a solution.
Any ideas?
Signed,
Diver Dan
Dear Diver,
Let me get this straight, Ms. Wet Spot’s love juices are good enough for your taste buds, but not her own? Buddha bless you my child for having patience with your pretentious sexy-time snob… its not as if you have poop on your pallet for Christ sake! I suggest that you inform your Gushing Goddess that she should be counting her lucky stars that you’re willing, able and eager to get wet and messy in her pleasure regions, and she ought to embrace her womanly wiles rather than forsaking the tongue that gives her that lovin’ feeling.
That being said, perhaps Squirting Sally is succumbing to the embarrassment factor that plagues many women who ejaculate. It is simply not a subject that is broached very often and she may very well not be aware of what her own body is capable of. Reassure her that you find her drenched den of inequity enjoyable and communicate about ways that you can both flourish in the flood zone.
Meanwhile, try enticing her oral sensory nerves with some delicious lube. Perhaps she’ll be a bit more receptive to the taste of strawberry rather than her own Fountain of Glory. A lil’ dab’ll do ya.
Also, keep in mind that while we’re rolling around in sweat and copious amounts of body fluids, we ladies still like to look pretty. In the instance that her mascara may not be waterproof, don’t go dribbling after you diddle… handy wipes are handy for a reason. Besides, it’s just polite to wipe your mouth after eating.
Lastly, nobody wants to suck face with a fish, so throwing back a swig of water and an Altoid might help alleviate her anxiety over a potential backwash situation.
And from all of us who belong to the Trickling, Squirting, Gushing Society we are eternally grateful for your understanding and perseverance. Your honorary snorkel and absorbent bed sheets will be shipped immediately.
You’re doing a fine job Diver Dan, keep on lickin’!
KISSKISS
LOVELOVE,
Eve
P.S.
You’re friends are dumbs! That is all.
On 06/26/08 at 3:14 am
Meghan said:
Dear Diver Dan,
Your friends have just given you the worst advice EVER. In fact I suspect extreme jealousy on their part, because to many men the ‘Squirter’ is an Urban Legend that ranks up there with Green M&Ms or the Girl and the frozen hot dog (eww). Or by stopping oral they are hoping to swoop in and steal the lovely lady from out under your nose (literally).
Eve is right, let her know how attracted you are to her body’s reaction. This may have happened with her and a past lover and she was made to feel like a sideshow sex freak.
Lastly, people need to really USE their nightstand drawers! Stock up on tissues, gum, mints etc. If you are making her erupt after oral, she isn’t going to miss the 15 seconds it takes afterwards to reach into the drawer, or a box under the bed, and freshen up a little.
Signed,
Do You Have A Twin Brother In The Boston Area.
On 06/26/08 at 6:08 am
Karri said:
I already called dibs on the brother…sorry!
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Frozen hot dog girl, what?!
On 06/26/08 at 7:29 am
Carol said:
Don’t you just love the way M described the urban legend of the squirter? I think she is right that things can happen with ex lovers that make you feel like a sideshow sex freak. Maybe I’m a freak because I don’t feel the need for gum. Just because I don’t want to taste other women doesn’t mean I don’t like the way I taste.
On 06/26/08 at 7:38 am
Karri said:
Female ejaculation is most certainly not an Urban Legend! Unless someone has actually experienced it, they don’t believe it’s possible (men and women). And unless they’re educated before it happens, it’s quite possible that every one involved can feel a bit freakish.
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Eve-101 here to educate the masses…Cum for Everyone!
On 06/26/08 at 6:29 pm
Meghan said:
Thanks, Carol! Men and their ideas of love, life and squirting…
On 06/26/08 at 6:27 pm
Meghan said:
I’m way too late in this party to comment - but there is the middle school-ish Urban Legend of a girl wanting to have sex and she sticks a frozen hot dog in her snatch only to end up in the E.R.
Yup - this is how I am going out tonight…frozen hot dog.
I miss all the fun!
On 06/26/08 at 6:31 pm
Karri said:
And she grew up to be the woman who sticks pencils up her urethra…
On 06/26/08 at 6:36 pm
Meghan said:
Whoooo gets off on this urethra pain thing? I remember a girl calling into Love Line (I was in college) and she said she stuck paper clips up there??? What the fuck!?
On 06/26/08 at 6:42 pm
Karri said:
Not the same girls that have beer bottle sex, that’s fo’ sure.
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Did you miss the one about the girl and the deer tongue? It’s at the end of the show…
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http://www.thestream.tv/watch.php?v=865
On 06/26/08 at 6:44 pm
Meghan said:
Didn’t miss it! In fact if you and Trista posted ‘Puppies and Peanut Butter’ every day I would still watch it…I laughed my ass off! You can’t guarantee that kind of Improv with the Pros!!!!
On 06/26/08 at 6:54 pm
Karri said:
You have no idea how much I heart you right now! That comment is getting copied, pasted and emailed…asap!
On 06/26/08 at 6:59 pm
Meghan said:
GOOD! The show is awesome! I was even able to watch it live the last 2 because of the time change (I’m EST). Keep it up! I’ll keep telling everyone…
On 06/26/08 at 7:11 pm
Karri said:
I haven’t quit reached the flood zone, but you have managed to make me feel all warm and fuzzy!
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Thanks…so much!!!
On 06/26/08 at 5:18 am
lisaq said:
I can only add Amen Eve! And…do you ever get to Kansas Diver Dan??? We need men like you here!!! I’ll even spring for a ticket from wherever it is they grow ‘em like you!
On 06/26/08 at 6:15 am
Karri said:
Girl, we need more men like him ev-er-y-where!
On 06/26/08 at 6:33 am
bryan said:
hey! he’s not the only one that enjoys a bit of girl cum. we do exist…
On 06/26/08 at 6:36 am
Karri said:
YAY for you…and us! The Society thanks you!
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Would you like a snorkle or plastic sheets as your membership gift?
On 06/26/08 at 7:23 am
Carol said:
I laughed at Gushing Goddess. GG. Yet another reminder I am never to be rid of my nickname!
*snort* I think it’s sexy as hell to kiss after either person cums. Screw the breath mints…a splash of chardonnay on the tongue balances the meal perfectly.
On 06/26/08 at 7:31 am
Karri said:
Live it, love it, own it, sistah! Especially when someone is encouraging you to do so…pass the memo, m’kay?
On 06/26/08 at 7:59 am
bryan said:
oh, just an extra set or two of regular sheets will be fine. more comfy and can just be changed when the festivities are over.
On 06/26/08 at 8:17 am
Karri said:
I beg you to not be a sheet changer! Use a towel or 12 if need be or better yet, invest in Luv Linens.
On 06/26/08 at 8:39 am
Kevin M. said:
That’s my only issue with that. Soaking your mattress is not a good thing. I mean, even if you dumped a glass of water from the tap on it, the time it takes to dry can cause mold problems, etc. Not good.
On 06/26/08 at 8:46 am
Karri said:
Then I’ll say it again…be prepared! As a girl who has experienced the “Oh my gawd, my bed is soaked” freak out, that kind of reaction will do irreversible damage!
On 06/26/08 at 8:55 am
Carol said:
I am shocked that Kevin is thinking about a potentially moldy mattress…and not the sheer joy of making a woman gush.
On 06/26/08 at 9:00 am
Karri said:
I may implode over this topic!
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I swear to Buddha, if my orgasms have been put in danger because someone was worried about a wet spot, you may as well lock me up!
On 06/26/08 at 7:06 pm
Missygail said:
Go to wal-mart and invest in a water proof mattress pad. I have one. They can be put in place before hand and they can be washed after the fact. They can also be used to sleep on if the mattress is soaked before the pad is put in place.
If a person is a sewer they can also make their own waterproof blanket. Two nice blankets with one waterproof sheet in between. Just remember to wash after each use… Geez some men make it so difficult.
On 06/26/08 at 7:13 pm
Karri said:
Fabulous advice!!!
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Can we post this in a memo?
On 06/26/08 at 6:08 am
Cassie said:
Eating Altoids WHILST eating out can be a pleasure for BOTH parties…just sayin!!!
On 06/26/08 at 6:17 am
Karri said:
Excellent point…I like the way you’re thinkin’!
On 06/26/08 at 6:09 am
Sarahh said:
The pic of the guy with the mask on made water go up my nose!
Love the advice, I would just add one thing.
“Tell your boys to get some before they start dishing out advice”
Why would anyone go anywhere else but Eve101 for advice anyway?
On 06/26/08 at 6:19 am
Karri said:
Who says men can’t get “facials”…hmmmm?
On 06/26/08 at 7:40 am
Jime said:
Funny but my first sexual experience (which led to an intimate relationship) was with a woman who was a squirter and could have multiple orgasms. As a result I thought all women must be like that. Much to my chagrin. Heh. Squirters should be proud of their spouting ways!
On 06/26/08 at 7:50 am
Karri said:
Unfortunately, as you’ve experienced, such a small percentage of woman are squirters. Therefore perpetuating the myths that it either doesn’t exist or that the fluid expelled is urine…which it is not!
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I’m actually confused by the woman Diver Dan is going down on. She obviously enjoys oral, knows she’s a squirter, but doesn’t bask in all it’s glory? What the hell?!
On 06/26/08 at 8:09 am
Jime said:
Yeah…only a small percentage can have multiple orgasms, too. My next GF couldn’t and after one orgasm I was ready to go to round ten and she was like, “Uh–what are you doing? I’m done.” Lol. I consider myself very lucky that I was fortunate to have the squirter as my first. Also she was patient, instructive and really knew her body well, too, so that helped.
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IDK what’s up with Diver Dan’s woman. Maybe the thought of kissing through the taste of her own fluids grosses her out. Like the thought of eating meatloaf grosses me out, but then when I actually eat it I end up liking it. I respect your initial advice of, “…communicate about ways that you can both flourish in the flood zone.“
On 06/26/08 at 8:23 am
Karri said:
As Trista and I proved with Orgasmathon ‘08 over-indulging in the O isn’t always a good thing either! But just one? No bueno!
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That girl just needs to learn to go with the flow. *ahem*
On 06/26/08 at 8:37 am
Kevin M. said:
On 06/26/08 at 8:46 am
Karri said:
I’m sorry, a third what?
On 06/26/08 at 8:50 am
Jime said:
/chuckle
On 06/26/08 at 8:55 am
Karri said:
Seriously! Is everyone having threesomes around here but me? WTF?!
On 06/26/08 at 8:57 am
Carol said:
Third orgasm or third sexual partner? I will have to return later.
On 06/26/08 at 10:36 am
PJ said:
Well, Karri, um, J and I are going to be in L.A. at the end of July.
On 06/26/08 at 10:44 am
Karri said:
HA!
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Nice.
On 06/26/08 at 10:56 am
PJ said:
On the contrary, naughty.
On 06/26/08 at 11:06 am
Karri said:
PJ’s on fire today!
On 06/26/08 at 11:21 am
PJ said:
Well then, I guess this is the right place to get doused.
On 06/26/08 at 11:45 am
Karri said:
AHHHH! You’re killing me! I’ve been wanting to use “doused” all day and you beat me to it. Thanks a lot.
On 06/26/08 at 4:45 pm
Kevin M. said:
Wait… people have problems with finding a third?
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Kidding. Don’t worry. Yes it happened once…………. or twice.
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Don’t hate. Multiplicate.
On 06/26/08 at 7:59 am
lanier said:
Im so jealous… I wanna squirt…
I love to kiss a man after he has gone down on me and I’ve cumed at least twice on his face… And I love it when after I’ve gone down on him, that he wants to kiss me too… love it…
On 06/26/08 at 8:29 am
Karri said:
You have a vajaja, you can do it too!
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Have you found your G-Spot yet?
On 06/26/08 at 11:06 am
PJ said:
Do you need help looking?
On 06/26/08 at 8:15 am
Balancing Good & Evil Daily said:
Dear Dan, What kind of idiots are your friends? Talk to this woman, tell her how much you enjoy the flood (be more politically correct about it than that though), and discuss whether you need to clean up before you try to kiss her, or if she is just not comfortable tasting herself. Does she kiss you just after going down on you? If she does, let her know how sexy you find it, and she may be more willing to let you kiss her. If she is one who cleans up first, use that as a cue. She probably has a problem with the taste. If Gushers were a dime a dozen, she probably wouldn’t have a problem with it, but since they area rare, it may be that she is embarrassed by it because of past experiences. Let her know how sexy you find it. And one last note, kick your friends who gave you the advice to stop giving it to her nice and squarely in the ass. Holding out isn’t the way to solve problems, it just means that you aren’t going to be getting any more.
On 06/26/08 at 8:33 am
Karri said:
THANK YOU, SIR!
On 06/26/08 at 8:35 am
Kevin M. said:
SO… FREAKING… FUNNY. My buddy and I were JUST talking about this wonderful female phenomena… and then I click on today’s topic and voila! Nice.
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Anyway, here’s a couple of problems I have. One… that guy’s girlfriend is an idiot. As was said above, it’s HERS. So while she may not enjoy her own taste/smell/whatever, she SHOULD know the most important part of what she’s squirting: It’s odorless, tasteless, and for the most part, pure water. What the hell is she afraid, or turned off of??? I mean, I’ve been with women here and there who don’t squirt, and are not necessarily unclean, but they don’t necessarily like their own taste. So yeah, they resist the attempt at a full sloppy kiss right afterward. Understandable… even though I may not agree with their opinion.
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But in this case, there is ZERO offending odor or taste to worry about. So I say to her…. WTF??? And why suggest mints, gum, etc… when, again, there’s nothing to “freshen up”. I mean, if there IS, even after getting such a rinse with an amount of squirting, then she SERIOUSLY needs to start focusing on her hygiene. >.<
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I think I may have covered my other problems with all of that, too. Lol. I think you get my points.
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Oh… and it is NO urban legend. Let me reassure each and every doubter out there. And while you may have a little shock factor your first time, you should get over that quickly… because not only is it a beautiful sensation physically… but to bring someone you care about, or are just hot for, to THAT level of orgasm is one of life’s greatest experiences. Knowing how much her brain, body and soul is having an electrical meltdown at that point gets me off to no end. *drool*
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Whew! Is it warm in here? Or is it just me?
On 06/26/08 at 8:47 am
Jime said:
You know what is especially cool about the female orgasm/squirt is that when it happens you KNOW you made the girl come, and there is no question about it. I don’t know about you, but as a kid I remember seeing “When Harry Met Sally” (before my first sexual experience) and it created this fuck-up in my brain, a stigma that all women fake orgasms. In years since I had to unlearn that stigma, but there it was. Anyway, with the female ejaculation, the proof is right there. Awesome.
On 06/26/08 at 8:54 am
Karri said:
UMMMMMM…I hate to be the one to break it to you, Jime, but squirting/gushing doesn’t always equal an orgasm. They are independent to one another. Yes, the can be simultaneous, but not always.
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SORRY!!!
On 06/26/08 at 9:00 am
Jime said:
Interesting. Hm. Every time my first had a squirt she also said she orgasmed. Maybe that was just her body then…cause i trusted her. Or maybe my stigma is back now. THANKS A LOT, Karri!
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Gah. Ignornace is bliss.
On 06/26/08 at 9:05 am
Karri said:
I’m not even suggesting that she didn’t have an orgasm every time she squirted. I’m just informing you that they can be separate.
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Would you have preferred a lie of omission?
On 06/26/08 at 9:07 am
Jime said:
Ahahaahahahaaa. White lie me to death.
On 06/26/08 at 9:39 am
Karri said:
Okay…you asked for it.
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Santa is alive and well in the North Pole.
On 06/26/08 at 11:34 am
Jime said:
That’s a filthy lie. Everybody knows Santa spends his summers scuba diving off the coast of Belize.
On 06/26/08 at 6:32 pm
Karri said:
Fat and jolly in the winter and sandy toes in the summer? I want that job!
On 06/26/08 at 9:32 am
Kevin M. said:
Wait… what? This is the first I’ve heard of this. From my experience, and what I’ve been told, to achieve actual “squirting”, she not only achieves orgasm, but has been brought to such a heightened state of orgasm that she shudders, stutters, stammers and convulses beyond her control (to an extent, of course). Maybe it was just the girl I was with, but yeah it was milder when she would just let it “creep out”. But once I got her to just let go… holy fuck… LOOK OUT! It was beautiful!
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But maybe that was just her. Maybe she just always had both together, always. ???
On 06/26/08 at 9:35 am
Jime said:
That’s how it was with mine too. Kind of a melting/shuddering/explosion progression. Heh. But now my fantastic world of female squirting has been shattered by Eve-101. I think I’m going to cry.
On 06/26/08 at 7:21 pm
Missygail said:
I’d have levels of orgasms… multiples I guess. But the mind numbing talking in tongues orgasm.. the one the men in my life have never got me to, only I’ve done with the help of BOB (battery operated boyfriend) actually has no juice… it’s as dry as a bone. But all the lower level orgasms would drown the bed.
On 06/26/08 at 9:37 am
Karri said:
Just like men can have orgasms without the release, woman can squirt without the orgasm. Don’t worry, not always, but possible.
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Sorry, boys.