Mirror, Mirror
March 5, 2008 · Print This Article
At one time or another we’ve all been plagued by the battle of the bulge. Whether it be 5, 10 or even 15 pounds that seemed to miraculously appear overnight, suddenly we’re left to contend with the latest trend seen on every street corner in America and beyond. Sure, the term “muffin top” sounds endearing and easily digestible, but the fact is…it’s not hawt! And it’s not just women that are affected; men are just as susceptible to the unsightly overhang.
Seriously, I ask you, who in their right mind decided that low rise jeans were a good idea? Fashion designers and advertising firms inundate us with their convoluted mess of unrealistic and unhealthy body images, perpetuating the myth that we should all resemble the airbrushed models gracing the covers of Cosmo and GQ. Have we no scruples? I find it incredibly ironic that society shuns glamorizing the ultra-thin cigarette, but not ultra-thin people. Hello, they both have the potential to kill, so why is one more acceptable than the other?
As someone who has battled nearly every eating disorder known to mankind I was none to happy to recently discover that I currently runneth over my skinny jeans. Now, before anyone starts giving me grief about how a woman in a single digit size has no room to complain about a little extra weight, I don’t want to hear it. If your pants don’t fit, your pants don’t fit - period. I don’t care what size you are. That being said, yes, I was displeased with my over-exposure, but I was also elated with the fact that I didn’t curl up in the fetal position and refuse to leave the house. There was a time when that would have been my exact reaction to what I perceived to be a horrific sight staring back at me in the mirror, and I’m not alone.
Anorexia and Bulimia are eating disorders affect millions, and that’s not even taking into account those who fall victim to the inner dialogue of Body Dysmorphia. These are psychological diseases that are incredibly difficult to overcome, especially when the media portrays images that imply the skinnier we are the happier we will be.
I’ll be the first to admit that when my skinny jeans do fit, I walk with my head a little higher, but that wad of denim can never compare to the feeling of self-confidence that rushed through my soul the day I threw my scale in the dumpster!
One size does NOT fit all! We are unique individuals that can’t be mass produced. And I refuse to surrender my self-worth and dignity at the risk of my health or in lieu of a disastrous fashion statement. Ladies and gentlemen, I implore you to do the same. If your backside is showing more cleavage than your front or if your happy trail can be seen peeking out of your nether region simultaneously giving the illusion that you’re carrying a floatation device around your midsection - you must reconsider your designer options. Remember, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, not the manufacturer.
On 03/5/08 at 7:17 am
PrincessQ said:
I recently went up a jean size…which is why I’m determined to lose weight by the summer when I’ll be wearing my teeshirts and I DON’T want a muffin top showing.
I’m happy with my body but I hate skinny jeans. I prefer being a happy size 10
Great blog!
On 03/5/08 at 9:05 am
Karri said:
I truly believe it doesn’t matter what size you are, health and happiness go hand in hand.
Thanks for stopping by darlin’!
On 03/5/08 at 7:24 am
Qelqoth said:
It is now evident why many women hate men. It’s because most men are impervious to chocolate, cakes and junk food, innit? In fact, that stuff does not even have an effect on our metabolisms. To a woman, eating chocolate is like hurling an anvil at the stomach although to men, that anvil quickly becomes a very light feather.
Oh well, you women still have tits and that’s like, one thing we’ll never gave. Not unless you count Bob from “Fight Club” and man, that’s pushing things just a little too far. I’ll stick with the junk food.
On 03/5/08 at 9:08 am
Karri said:
Cripes! I didn’t even get tits…I had to buy those.
*sigh*
On 03/5/08 at 7:27 am
Cassie said:
LOL
I never knew what a muffin top was until I started reading blogs. I’m no where near ‘healthy’ but I’m happy!
I have no skinny jeans…even my skinny jeans aren’t skinny jeans!!! LOL
On 03/5/08 at 9:10 am
Karri said:
I applaud anyone who doesn’t succumb to the media hype and who loves the skin they’re in. Way to go girl!
On 03/5/08 at 7:30 am
Qelqoth said:
Holy crap, I’m stuck between two shadowy figures!
On 03/5/08 at 9:12 am
Karri said:
Hey peeps!
If you’d your picture to show next to your comments like the Rev. here, just make a profile at:
http://www.mybloglog.com
On 03/5/08 at 9:15 am
Trista said:
Do it! We want to see your smiling faces. And if you DO happen to sign up, don’t forget to add us as a friend.
xx
On 03/5/08 at 11:52 am
Karri said:
What the…???
I really should not type before the first cup o’ java has had time to do its magic!
On 03/6/08 at 6:20 am
Qelqoth said:
Actually, I got mine at Gravatar, a service which gives you a universal avatar for the blogosphere. MyBlogLog works in a similar way although Gravatar is purely for avatars.
On 03/5/08 at 7:48 am
Fiona said:
Pictures of myself always make me depressed, it’s not the image I see when I look in the mirror. When I look in the mirror I see a bit of beer belly, but when I see myself in photos I see the fat chin and the rolls, and a piece of me curls up and dies. Funny thing? I’m only a size 4 according to gap jeans. 5 accroding to billabong. I don’t think I have the committment and self control to ever have an eating disorder (I’m not saying that thinking it’s a good thing, I’m glad I’m lazy for that fact alone), but I see the danger ahead, have my pity party and then do my best to go on being the best I can be with what I have.
I don’t think it matters what size you are, you always see the imperfections and dwell on them. Sometimes I want to burn those mags in the supermarket with their redilculous airbrushed perfect plastic people. Real life has curves.
On 03/5/08 at 9:21 am
Karri said:
I truly envy those who embrace their so-called “flaws” rather than focusing on them. Wouldn’t it be lovely to not want to curl up and die?
On the flip side, I don’t want to look at my own fat, so why would I want to see someone else’s? I am truly in awe by those who have no shame when it comes to flaunting their muffin top stuffed in a size that clearly does not fit properly!
On 03/5/08 at 7:48 am
Jeff said:
It saddens me the way the media portrays the image of “beauty”. It really fucks with people’s self image, more often negatively. Being a little under weight myself, I have been accused of being anorexic several times. I’m not, but because I don’t weigh enough compared to some “standard”, it is hard to get people to believe me. That is until I point out my past history with drug abuse/addiction. But only after that is brought up, is when the fact that I am “too skinny” accepted and left alone. Which I find irritating.
On 03/5/08 at 9:28 am
Karri said:
The images portrayed by the media are unrealistic standards that many people will spend their lives trying to achieve to no avail. I for one am absolutely guilty of getting sucked into the vortex of perceived beauty, and yes it does promote negative body images.
Thank you for sharing your story and reminding us that this is not just an issue for women, but men are also subjected to societies ideals of perfection.
On 03/5/08 at 8:20 am
Sarahh said:
Yeah, I teeter totter about the whole thing. I have put on 25lbs since I started seeing Vic. 10 I am friends with the other 15 are assholes that have overstayed their welcome.
Mostly because I couldn’t fit into my clothes anymore! And that will ruin a perfectly good day.
I want to get into shape. Not lose weight. So until I can do that I look at myself and go through this little inner monolouge.
You look HUGE
No, not really.
Not SKINNY per se
But not Fat
You eat bad foods
I know
You should cut down
I will
You really don’t look bad
And you can get those 15 off to feel better
I know
Oh, and put down the candybar.
When I am done
On 03/5/08 at 9:49 am
Karri said:
Sarahh, I abso-freakin’-lutely adore you!
I don’t think I know a woman who hasn’t had that conversation with herself. And quite honestly I don’t particularly enjoy a losing battle if you know what I’m sayin’, and I think you do.
On 03/5/08 at 9:07 am
Randall said:
I had to stop by to at the very least say “hello”…
I just finished reading your article Muffin-tops on Eve 101 and I realized it has been awhile since I have sung praises to Trista. I in no means claim (as some men do) to understand the female being but do sympathize with the whole “battle of the bulge” fight. As a kid, I was the one wearing the husky jeans which lead, of course to the battle with diet pills and other drugs in high school. Yep, thats right, eating disorders are equal opportunity all around. I’m six foot two and have weighed from 270 lbs to as little as 150 lbs. Since my back surgeries I have put on afew of those pounds I’ve fought all my life. But guess what, I don’t sweat it the way I used to. I just figure if I’m trying to make everyone else happy with me, I’ll never be happy with me. And if I have to buy some new jeans that’s okay. I still try my best to stay in shape the best I can, I’d hate to look down and not be able to see my penis…
On 03/5/08 at 9:14 am
Trista said:
Hi Randall!
Thank you for sharing this…I think all too often the world forgets that men struggle with these issues too.
“just figure if I’m trying to make everyone else happy with me, I’ll never be happy with me.”
~ I couldn’t agree more. Happiness comes from within, not from a pair of designer jeans.
Although good butt jeans do put a little extra spring in my step, I can’t lie.
Excellent blog topic, Karri my love!
On 03/5/08 at 9:56 am
Karri said:
Randall, I echo Trista’s sentiments wholeheartedly! Except that I didn’t even know good butt jeans exist…hmmmm?
On 03/5/08 at 11:45 am
Karl Rove said:
I’ve never had a problem with weight, and I hope I never do. But I am skinny, and every once in a while people have asked if I have an eating disorder. I’m actually an incredibly healthy eater, I just have the metabolism of a hummingbird.
On 03/5/08 at 7:48 pm
Karri said:
Once upon a time I had that metabolism, and then I got old and gravity started kicking in. Why is all the good stuff wasted on youth?!
On 03/5/08 at 1:10 pm
Carol said:
It hurts me to look at the first pic of that woman. The pic of the girl looking in the mirror actually helped me understand something new.
I’ve lost seven pounds being sick the past week. I wanted to lose another 15, but for some reason, the seven I lost feel empty. Like, I need to gain them back to lose them in a healthy way.
I like what Sarah wrote about being friends with ten and not-so-friendly with the other 15.
Great blog, as always.
On 03/5/08 at 7:51 pm
Karri said:
You very well know that when you lose weight in an unhealthy way it always manages to find it’s way back…to the backside that is.
The pictures are very unsettling to me also, for a plethora of reasons.
I hope you’re feeling better soon! And thank you so much for your continued support!!!
On 03/5/08 at 2:08 pm
Lori said:
I read this, and think how we are our own harshest critics, regardless of what size we are. Yes, real life does have curves, some more than others. I have always fought with my weight, even more so now, after back surgery, and finding out I’m insulin resistant. For the most I have come to accept that I will never be that “thin gal”. I’m just me, do my best to eat healthy and stay active, sometimes I just suck at it. Then my motivation kicks in again. Body image is very distorted when we look at ourselves. Sometime y’all should check a show called, “How to look good Naked”. Doesn’t matter what size or shape these ladies are, they still have a high tendency to add anywhere from 3-7 inches around than their actual size when comparing themselves whether in a mirror or to others. I’m sure the same goes for men. As for the muffin-top, not meant to be flaunted. No matter what size you are, there a way to dress that is still attractive for each of us. Emphasize the positives, downplay the negatives, and let what is inside of you come shining out, that is what makes each of us beautiful.
On 03/5/08 at 7:56 pm
Karri said:
Very well said, Lori!
I’ve seen the show you’re referring to and I’m so glad you brought it up. I was shocked how each and every time they had the partipant place herself in a line up with other women of varying shapes and sizes she always saw herself so much different than how she actually is. I suppose to some extent we all suffer a bit of self-distortion.
On 03/5/08 at 2:47 pm
Hector said:
I’m a muffin top and proud of it!
On 03/5/08 at 7:57 pm
Karri said:
Only when you wear your Speedo’s and I really wish you’d stop doing that!
On 03/5/08 at 5:05 pm
PJ said:
Evil people push fear to make a buck and the sad truth is that fear sells. In my own unofficial study, I find that women who turn to fashion magazines for advice tend to notice more “negative” things about their appearance. Then they run out to buy a temporary answer. The real answer is to stop looking at the women in the magazine, and start looking at the women at the office, in the gym, or on the bus.
On 03/5/08 at 8:02 pm
Karri said:
The women at the office? I’m doomed! And also perhaps a bit of a hypocrite to some extent being as how I help people improve their looks on a daily basis. The sad truth is that we are all judged on what people see before they even take the opportunity to get to know what’s on the inside. So, if I can help someone have a little more self-confidence then I’ve done my job. I do like your advice though…thanks for sharing and putting it all in percpective.
On 03/5/08 at 8:56 pm
harleyblues said:
Cool posty! ta
hb~
On 03/5/08 at 8:58 pm
Chris said:
She says, “Don’t stare at me.”/She’s afraid that I might see/Those five extra pounds she talks about./Man, I don’t know what she’s talkin’ ’bout./She looks through magazines,/With every page she dreams/of lookin’ like somebody else./I wish she wasn’t so hard on herself./Then she falls asleep with just my t-shirt on/But even when her hair’s messed up and her make-up’s gone…
You can’t hide beautiful.
You can’t hide wonderful.
There’s nothin’ that she has to do;
It just comes natural.
She makes it look easy.
I love what she does to me.
No way to disguise the way that she shines,
You can’t hide beautiful…
On 03/5/08 at 9:56 pm
Karri said:
I actually know that song…love it and wish for it.
On 03/5/08 at 10:03 pm
Chris said:
Why would you wish for something you already have?
On 03/6/08 at 10:44 am
Dena said:
Wow, nice one girl. I, like you, have struggled with weight issues, diet fads and disease on this topic and happy to report I am healthier now in my 30’s than I ever was. Not like it happens overnight. It takes years to get into a healthy mindset. I am glad you wrote this and added those photos, which are appalling, but unfortunately true. And anytime someone can jump on this topic and try to help young girls realize that there IS such a thing as “too thin” and don’t believe everything you see in magazines.
I heart you!
Keep it up. You write SO well, self-deprecating but so witty I love it.
On 03/8/08 at 11:32 pm
Melissa said:
I hate all the hype at the same time I do want to lose weight… though I know I’ll never fit into skinny jeans. It’s bad when you do realize that you’ve suddenly gone up a size. I’m a big girl that I know. I’ve been a big girl since I had three children by c-section and an even bigger girl since giving up the cigarettes… I’d rather be fat and breathe than skinny and on an inhaler (because I was).
I had a slap in the face realization when I saw a photo of myself and I realize I had a major muffin top. It was scary. I had to go up a size in jeans and give away all my jeans. I don’t like to hold on to the ’skinny jeans’ in hopes i’ll fit into them again. It takes away all the fun of shopping when you actually do get skinny. For years after I had my first child I held on to my size 3/4 jeans, but finally they became not something I wished to be again, but a source of anger.. because life does not let go back to your 18 year old body no matter how hard you try. That’s why you’re only 18 once!
I do agree that the low rise jeans should be outlawed I honestly think the only woman that looks good in them is my sister she’s 5′9″ and probably weighs about 115 if that…
I want them to bring back the high rise jeans. Those are the best for a little extra to hide. Yeah, you might have to button them up under your boobs, but at least they hold the stomach in!
On 03/8/08 at 11:34 pm
Melissa said:
Wow I’m bad with the typos. This thing needs an edit button or I need to get some sleep…