Comments on: Once a cheater, always a cheater?

By: Kevin

Kevin — Mon, 26 May 2008 18:30:53 +0000

Well said Amaya, what’s happened when we’re cheated on, the reason we take it so hard is because we feel betrayed. You’ve invested yourself with this other person and did everything right that when they run off with someone else you immediately begin to ask yourself the questions, What did I do? What didn’t I do? Maybe I’m not attractive enough or exciting enough. We quickly start blaming ourselves when in fact it’s the person that cheated that needs to be doing all this work at this point. The only work you would need to do is to gain enough strength to walk away, because it’s like you said, “if you are a cheater, well then you have some big deal things to work on, and I do not want to wait.” People come in our lives for a reason and if you’re evolved enough the sensible question is exactly what you stated, “What I needed to learn, what pattern I was playing out, if any, and how to grow from the devastation of this betrayal.”

By: amaya

amaya — Sat, 24 May 2008 18:28:56 +0000

I agree with Kevin, and I am a very evolved soul, whom has lived an very human life. I have had trust issues my whole life, thank you therapy!!

I can forgive most every thing in a friendship or relationship, even daily interactions with others. Yet, I have limits, I am human, and I am me, we all have our own places where there IS NO NEGOTIATION!

This happens to be one of mine, you cheat on me, you might as well be packing up as you even begin the emotional reaching out. How could I ever trust you, my partner again, no it would take years of therapy and work. And quite frankly I would not spend the time and money. Except probably on myself, to find out why in the world I was with that person. What I needed to learn, what pattern I was playing out, if any, and how to grow from the devastation of this betrayal.

Besides that, I want to be healthy enough to draw a LIFE partner to me, whom holds without question many of the similar values that create Me. We do not,should not be twins, that is called enmeshment, and if you are a cheater, well then you have some big deal things to work on, and I do not want to wait. Amaya

By: Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater? « Kevin Hunter

Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater? « Kevin Hunter — Sat, 24 May 2008 00:09:13 +0000

[...] CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE READING “ONCE A CHEATER, ALWAYS A CHEATER?” Special thanks to Writer/Author, Kevin Hunter for his contribution to today’s He said/She said. [...]

By: Karri

Karri — Thu, 22 May 2008 22:38:56 +0000

I’m sorry, but I’m having a really difficult time understanding this…”Well the somewhat was that I didnt have another relationship going… I did have sex w/ another guy… but it was just sex…”

Are you saying that you don’t consider that cheating?

By: Karri

Karri — Thu, 22 May 2008 22:05:41 +0000

Hi there! You’ve been missing all the fun my friend!
Again, I can’t thank you enough for your contribution and continued support of Eve-101. I feel so truly fortunate to have not only yourself but such an amazing family here. I guess I didn’t lose too many Karma points for past indiscretions…ha!

By: Karri

Karri — Thu, 22 May 2008 21:58:38 +0000

I think the really important issue to point out here is the fact that you learned from your experiences. There’s a multitude of reasons why someone is compelled to cheat (I know my list is as long as my arm), but that doesn’t mean that you will forever repeat your past. Congrats on 7 years, it’s not easy and I commend you!

By: Karri

Karri — Thu, 22 May 2008 21:53:34 +0000

See what you started, trouble maker.

By: Karri

Karri — Thu, 22 May 2008 21:52:59 +0000

No regrets, only life lessons!

By: Karri

Karri — Thu, 22 May 2008 21:52:17 +0000

It was much funnier when the swishy gay waiter who’s never dressed in drag (although isn’t against it) said it.

By: Kevin

Kevin — Thu, 22 May 2008 21:50:12 +0000

Well, well, well, what HAS been going on over here today?

I don’t think most would disagree that cheating is not particularly a topic that is ever taken lightly, no matter which side of the fence you sit on. I wonder about these other cultures that use their old fashioned philosophies as a badge of honor, a sense of entitlement to have more than one spouse. If you’re dating or involved with someone and you find yourself in a situation that could potentially jeopardize what you have, you need to gain enough will to extricate yourself from the situation. If you’re questioning following through with someone new, then there are clearly issues going on within you that you need to be able to discuss with your partner. Going through with a cheat and crossing that invisible line will lead to irrevocable damage to your relationship. It’s about being responsible. If you find it difficult to be with one person, well hey you don’t have to be, but be honest to the person you’re with ahead of time so there are no surprises.