Relationships…Reincarnated

Sometimes you have to visualize a piece of art before you start splashing on the oils.

Are you going to the Man-Store to buy, or are you just there to browse? When a person goes into a store to buy: they know what they are looking for. They cut through the aisles, get the product and beeline to the checkout. If you’re just there to browse then yeah, I’m sure that every manly trait will mesh into a homogeny of silly-putty-colored Man-ness. As you browse the Man-Store all the stereotypes will pop up over every shelf, over and over again and maybe this is because you’re looking at the broad spectrum and not focusing on what you want.
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So…what do you want? I’d suggest thinking about the qualities you want in a man before subjecting yourself to dating one. If a man wants to date you and you know he doesn’t meet your convictions then why waste his (and your) time?
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You’re a beautiful woman. You’re intelligent and funny. Now go get that lucky fellow!

I think men make me think of a painting, similar to what the lady above me says. They all are different, beautiful, but the paint strokes have their own style. When it comes down to it they are still just a painting/man. Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder, what appeals to one does not to another. I always look for the best/beauty in every individual I come across, unfortunately they don’t always see that within themselves, and as time goes on, what was once so beautiful, starts to become tarnished with their own self image and issues. I have always loved the phrase, “I’m unique, just like everyone else.” All you can do when it comes to dating and relationships, is give it a shot, step off that cliff, and see how it flies.

I tried to date different types. And they were at first. But a strange thing began to happen. In the end they all seemed the same.

This fact scared the shit out of me. I can’t lie.

*Shudder*

I was beginning to feel like no matter what he looked like, did, didn’t do, acted, blah blah blah, I was only attracted to one type of guy.

Thank God that proved to be untrue. For now…

Hahaha Just kidding…

Most of the guys I’ve been with HAVE been pretty much the same as far as the ‘type’ of guy. That way there are way less surprises!

Most of the men I had dated had to be 6ft or taller, with blue eyes, and slim… I was attracted to that from the first time I met Kris. And wanted that forever. As I grew up and older, and the man I am in love with is not 6 ft, nor does he have blue eyes, and he is not slim. He is very attactive to me.

I was never sure of what I wanted until he came around. And with out knowing it, I knew what I deserve. I got him and he is what I did have an idea of when I was a younger woman. I just didnt know I could find him at this time in my life…

Well Im somewhat waiting on the Happy Ending… We are still planning on Vegas late this year or early next. That’ll be my happy ending… and keeping it will be somewhat of a challenge. We even talked a little about it this weekend.

So what about the spiritually enlightened philosopher, who is a socially retarded, sex crazed maniac? Run into that combo yet?
The one thing I wasn’t clear about was how exactly are we all alike? You listed personality traits, and it is quite possible there is a limited pool of said traits to choose from, but I’m not convinced that is what makes us, all of us, who we are truly. The salad bar analogy could easily be applied to women. Is there an underlying similarity with all the women I’ve dated, slept with, befriended? Yeah, they are all women and no matter how much we like to believe differently there is some biological programming involved that pretty much applies across the board. Now the beauty is when you run into the ones that don’t quite fit the mold, they are out there and I think the same would hold true for men as well. Perhaps the similarities you see are more on the surface and not what really makes someone who they are? Or I could just be full of shit, which is always a possibility.

You are wrong. Men are not the same. It is the little things that make us unique. I see where you are coming from though. Women are so predictable it’s criminal. Not all of them, but enough to make me question my sanity.

Maybe you should go gay for a while.

I watched The Shape of Things last weekend and I am NEVER dating again. Fuck that shit.

Having been around the block more than I’d care to describe or admit has made me jaded and bored with dating. Within minutes I can quickly put them into boxes and categories and I wasn’t always like that. I don’t want to come to the point where I feel disappointed by what I’ve come across as of late and that no one measures up to my grand ideas of what love and relationships should be. This goes for men and women it’s all become predictably uninteresting. You just hope that you come across someone who isn’t usual or the same as everyone else and who sets themselves apart from the rest in some way. The more different you are the more you risk being tail-gaited by me. Those moments where I’m tail-gaiting someone are nearly non-existent. I feel untouchable, unreachable because of that and it has nothing to do with ego, because it’s a pretty lonely place to be on occasion.

Can we safely say that society is breeding the onset of clones, the same breeds repeatedly the way that we bred the creepy array of serial killers in the sixties? The way we breed hate, love, artists, anarchists, right wing wackos and the onset of Stepford Husbands and Wives all separated into groups and clicks that vacate a space bordered by invisible lines. We create them and the ones that are their own individual and stand out we fall in love with them or ostracize them.

P.S. And don’t know why my gravatar stopped showin’ up, I’ll just remain elusive. Love the column Karri!

More than men being all the same or having a physical type, I think it boils down to the kind of men we attract. I, sadly, have a past history of assclowns & douchebags mostly because it’s what I believed I deserved. Though they were all different in many ways, they were the same in their approach to our relationships, their emotional availability, etc. When you hit upon that realization, you reach the point where you start trying to make sure you’re not still out there attracting the same kinds of assclowns & douchebags. The trick is to clear your old beliefs in order to begin attracting a different kind of man. I know, easier said than done, but worth the effort.

you have had some bad luck, for sure.

nice guys are taught that they are unwanted, that “Bad Boys” get the girl.

gotta stay positive, even if its hard.

good things happen when you LEAST expect them! (another stereotype I know, but so so true!)