Shame on you, and Mrs. Robinson
May 7, 2008 · Print This Article
Dear Eve,
I had sex with my girlfriend’s mom. I know it sounds like bs but it’s true. We live with my girl’s mom, and when she (my gf), was out with her friends one night her mom came into our room and seduced me. I was asleep and it was dark, so at first I thought she was my girlfriend, but when I realized it wasn’t her I didn’t stop. What the hell do I do now?!
Signed, Lost-in-Law
Dearest Son-in-Lust,
You poor thing, some mean ole’ lady took advantage of your weak and vulnerable penis in the night! It was dark, and..and you were sleepy! Of course you couldn’t stop it once you got going; blue balls are real, man…they are real!
So why are you writing to me, hmm? Are you feeling guilty? Is your shame eating away at your very soul? Have you lost the ability to look at yourself in the mirror? Look, there is only one thing you can do at this point. Let her have sex with your dad. It is the only way to rectify this type of situation.
In all seriousness, if you really slept with your girlfriend’s mom you are 10 different kinds of screwed. This secret liaison will not remain undisclosed for long. I would leave a note for her explaining that you have six months to live and that you are going to spend them traveling the world. Tell her you want her to go on without you…to find love again!
Then sneak off to Mexico while she is at work and live in the gutter, you dog.
Although what you and dear old mom should really do is lie down in the driveway so she can run over the both of you…repeatedly.
I just don’t think the poor girl could handle jail time right now.
Kisses,
Eve
On 05/7/08 at 1:34 am
Samurai Love God said:
I find the best way to prevent this type of situation is to be upfront. When a girl introudces me to her mother for the first time I always say, “It’s very nice to meet you, but I’m not going to fuck you!”
On 05/7/08 at 2:57 am
Meghan said:
Hmmm. Presumptuous, but we could probably all save a lot of small talk by using this line more often. lol.
On 05/7/08 at 6:19 am
Trista said:
I hope you say it in front of the dads as well…priceless.
On 05/7/08 at 3:00 am
Carol said:
I bet you do!!! Sisters, too? *cough*
You know what is really sick about this type of thing? That any mother would feel the need to do it. Sorry about schlong-boy, but this is more on her than on him. In the middle of the night, I am dead asleep. If hands were to wake me (or a firm cock behind me…nudging…whatever!) , my body would naturally respond to them. This goes back to you can’t help what you say in your sleep.
Granted, dude woke up and did the deed. That part is certainly on him. But, I feel more sorry that she has a mother who would do that to her than a boyfriend who doesn’t have the balls to throw the woman off him and IMMEDIATELY tell the girlfriend.
On 05/7/08 at 4:10 am
andrew goulding said:
While I concur to a certain degree with all the sentiments expressed, I think I’m drawn towards Carol’s the most.
Crap mother!
However, is that all there is to it…or was there an Oedipal flirtation built up over a while? Is the old gal hot and the young girl a slob? Has this happened before?
Ugh! The questions in my mind just keep arising because you haven’t really provided history or motive…and we’re just knee-jerk reacting.
ADG
On 05/7/08 at 6:22 am
Trista said:
I do the best with what they send in to me, Andrew my friend.
On 05/7/08 at 7:12 am
Carol said:
You did just wonderful, considering what little background the guy gave you. I mean, like he is going to fess up to his *possible* fantasies about the mom!
On 05/7/08 at 7:44 am
Trista said:
Thank you! I do my best. =)
This one was a no brainer though…sleeping with your girl’s mom is never okay, no matter how much one tries to justify it.
On 05/7/08 at 9:25 am
Chris said:
What about sleeping with your EX-girlfriend’s mom? That’s a story!
On 05/7/08 at 10:48 am
Trista said:
well, in that case you are kinda off the hook…but mom still isn’t!
On 05/7/08 at 12:06 pm
Chris said:
Well, actually, I didn’t… but Sweet Whistling Geronimo, I WANTED TO!!
On 05/7/08 at 2:54 pm
Trista said:
I admire you all the more for your display of self restraint.
On 05/7/08 at 3:22 pm
Chris said:
So, are you saying I should stop chastising myself for not having the hot, kinky, sweaty, monkey ex-gf’s-mom sex I wanted? I should stop considering it wasted wood?
On 05/8/08 at 2:37 am
andrew goulding said:
My apologies, by “you” I meant him.
ADG
On 05/7/08 at 6:21 am
Trista said:
Oh, absolutely. I think that good old mom is deplorable in her actions. She has serious self esteem issues among other things and I am almost certain she is passing em down to daughter. This whole scene is a trainwreck.
But boy wrote to me, boy got the brunt of my…advice.
On 05/7/08 at 7:03 am
Carol said:
Boy…NOT man….
Awww….my love for semantics!
On 05/7/08 at 7:45 am
Trista said:
I call em like I see em.
On 05/7/08 at 7:49 am
Carol said:
The word Twenty comes to mind.
Twenty-twenty.
Huh, it comes twice. Unlike the boy, I’m sure!
<—fucked up, lack of sleep humor…
On 05/7/08 at 7:58 am
Trista said:
<----- Suffering from lack of sleep as well. So of course your humor is right on point with me!
On 05/7/08 at 3:41 pm
Carol said:
*snort* I am REALLY hoping so!
On 05/7/08 at 1:40 am
UncleGus said:
Seriously? What a dick.
This is what I was talking about in the last article. Taking responsibility for your actions, but foremost, making the right decisions when a situation arises. Okay, maybe you’re telling the truth and you really thought it was your girlfriend at first. The first thing you should have done when you realized it wasn’t was get her off of you, and explain to your girlfriend what happened the moment you saw her. It still would have been an awful situation to deal with, but at least you would have done the right thing.
You’re stupid, and you’re screwed. The smart thing to do now is take responsibility for your dumb decision, take what’s left of your manhood, leave and let this poor girl get on with her life and deal with her mother. There must have been some underlying attraction towards her mother to begin with. That, or you were looking for a way out of this relationship, and you needed an excuse. Well, you’ve made it clear, whatever the case. Take off and find your dignity before you screw up someone else’s life, too.
On 05/7/08 at 6:18 am
Trista said:
Yeah…my answer was the usual bitchy Eve special, but seriously…this girl’s head is going to be so screwed up now.
Quite sad.
On 05/7/08 at 7:56 am
Karri said:
Oh how grateful I am that my Mom never went to bat for any of our cross-suitors. I swear my boyfriends came over to see her more than me. Not a swell time when a young girl is in her ugly duckling phase…UGH…BOYS!
On 05/7/08 at 8:12 am
Trista said:
Oh, man…I would’ve died. DIED.
This is why I didn’t bring boys home.
On 05/7/08 at 11:10 am
Karri said:
The perils of having a HAWT Mom I suppose.
On 05/7/08 at 11:20 am
Kevin said:
I’m just glad acorns don’t fall far from the tree.
On 05/7/08 at 11:38 am
Karri said:
Acorns? Isn’t it apples?
On 05/7/08 at 12:58 pm
Trista said:
Not in your case, ya nut! =P
On 05/7/08 at 3:41 pm
Kevin said:
ZING!!
Acorns… apples… hot little redheads. Whatever.
On 05/7/08 at 3:44 pm
Karri said:
Well done Trista, well done!
On 05/7/08 at 2:52 am
Meghan said:
Aww, Son-In-Lust…
It’s okay. This kind of thing happens to everybody. Except that it DOESN’T and you are a complete and utter asshole.
Even if the Big Bad Sexy Wolf scared you in the middle of the night, your dick should have curled back up into your midsection when you DID realize who it was.
I’m not sure what the situation is as to WHY you are living with your GFs mom, but I am sensing it could have something to do with your complete lack of responsibility.
Grrrr.
On 05/7/08 at 6:16 am
Trista said:
I still think she should be able to sleep with his dad now. Unless his dad is gross. In that case a hot brother or sexy uncle or something.
On 05/7/08 at 4:09 am
Carol said:
Dammit..I joined the BlogLog thing and it still isn’t working? Help a girl out!
On 05/7/08 at 5:55 am
Trista said:
http://www.gravatar.com
It’s easier.
On 05/7/08 at 7:13 am
Carol said:
Seems to be working now…weird how it fixed all but the original comment. Oh well, at least I am not completely faceless anymore !
On 05/7/08 at 7:58 am
Trista said:
Yay! I love to see everyone’s pretty faces.
On 05/7/08 at 2:13 pm
Heather said:
Thanks for the heads up, I had been wondering how ya’ll gor yer pics up there. I know-DUH!! I am a dork on such things at first. But I learn well =) I am trying it out, let’s see if it works. I am REALLY late to the show though. AS usual.
On 05/7/08 at 2:14 pm
Heather said:
I’ll try thi AGAIN.Put my email in wrong. I SUCK!
On 05/7/08 at 2:45 pm
Trista said:
Go to http://www.gravatar.com
Then sign up! You’ll just have to make sure to sign up with the same e-mail that you are using to leave comments over here. Upload a picture, click that you want said picture displayed with said e-mail and voila! We will see your pretty face.
On 05/7/08 at 6:11 am
El Supremo said:
Dear Son-in-Lust,
You should blog that shit. With photos.
Regards,
ES
On 05/7/08 at 6:14 am
Trista said:
You assume the mom is hot?
I am picturing a Springer episode myself.
On 05/7/08 at 7:03 am
El Supremo said:
If I’m going to have to conjure mental images based on nothing more than my hopes and dreams, then yeah, the mom looks like Demi Moore or Michelle Pfeiffer.
On 05/7/08 at 7:48 am
Trista said:
Niiiice.
And yeah…if a guy was dating Rumer Willis and had a chance to hit Demi…well, perhaps that is the one time when I would have to concede.
On 05/7/08 at 6:20 am
Cassie said:
“Look, there is only one thing you can do at this point. Let her have sex with your dad. It is the only way to rectify this type of situation.”<——————HAD ME ROLLING!!!!! hahahahahahahahahahahaha
On 05/7/08 at 6:23 am
Trista said:
Lets just hope dad is good looking…for her sake, hmm? =P
On 05/7/08 at 6:38 am
Cassie said:
OR..at the VERY LEAST, better than him in the sack!!! lol
On 05/7/08 at 6:49 am
Trista said:
And I forgot to add, they should video tape it and force the son to watch it daily. with his eyes pinned open Clockwork Orange style.
That’ll teach em.
On 05/7/08 at 7:12 am
Cassie said:
HAHAHAHAHAHA
I LOVE the way you think!!! hahahahahahaha
On 05/7/08 at 7:49 am
Trista said:
You are as tweaked as me, friend!
On 05/7/08 at 6:39 am
Fiona said:
Wow. Mom and the Loser need firing. what kind of mother does that shit, seriously.
I almost think I’m angrier with Mom. Talk about betrayal. Men you can deal with, but your mother screwing you like that? Goodbye Bitch.
On 05/7/08 at 6:48 am
Trista said:
No kidding, it’s a bad situation…especially since she lives with the woman, I am assuming either because she is young or for financial reasons.
On 05/7/08 at 2:18 pm
Heather said:
I cannot get the pic thing to work…don’t know.
Anyway, my mom did something SORT OF similar to my sister. She had a guy over at her house that my sister had slept with, and cared a lot for. Although they were not together, my mom had called my sister to tell her he was there, and my sister specifically asked her NOT TO SLEEP WITH HIM, and she did. I thought it was really fucked up, I would NEVER do that to ANYONE that I loved, mom, daughter, sister, friend, whatever!!
On 05/7/08 at 2:42 pm
Trista said:
Holy hell, seriously?
Did their relationship (mom and sis) bounce back from that?
On 05/7/08 at 7:21 am
the other Tori said:
This is just soooooo wrong on soooo many levels!!!!
I think I’ll go back to packing and try to find some comfort in 1) being single and 2) the quietness that is my life
~~~ for it could be like this poor girl’s and I sooo do not envy her that revelation!!!
WOW a betrayal by the (hopefully soon to be ex bf ~although strange things in life have happened! but i would be kicking his ass to the crib if it was me!)
and then a SHEERLY horrific betrayal by the MOTHER!! so basically her relationship with her daughter was worth soooo little to her that she would sacrifice it for one night with the girl’s bf?!?!?!?! CRAPPY MOTHER doesnt not even begin to name her well enough!!!!!!!!!
seriously…… I am soooooooo thankful and grateful for my life right now ~~all the current chaos and painful moments included!!!!! WOW
On 05/7/08 at 7:51 am
Trista said:
I love that you were able to find the bright side, Tori.
“Thank gawd this f-ed up life isn’t mine!!” =p
But yes, I agree. This girl is going to need some therapy for this crap.
On 05/7/08 at 8:25 am
Emily said:
I think the best thing to do in a situation like this is to find the perfect place to work it out - Jerry Springer!
Seriously, though, I agree with all of you. The nicest thing this guy could do for the poor girl is to leave her and never tell her why. I am fairly sure the prison time would be unavoidable if I were to find myself in that girl’s shoes.
On 05/7/08 at 8:30 am
Trista said:
You know, I am a huge proponent of honesty…but man! I don’t know that I would want to know this shit…for serious.
Except for this; if she isn’t told, mom-slut may strike again.
On 05/7/08 at 8:35 am
Emily said:
That is so very true. I also think that honesty is the best policy. I suppose that if my mom had done this with my bf, I would definitely want to know. I would much rather know than to live my life oblivious to something like that. I guess sometimes it’s a good thing when mom doesn’t like the bf…
On 05/7/08 at 11:54 am
Trista said:
Ooohhh, unless they end up having angry, “I hate you” sex with each other…
On 05/7/08 at 8:26 am
Kevin said:
Holy shit. This guy is a complete toolbag. And while I do agree with Carol to an extent… in that the mother is CERTAINLY the lowest pond scum of the two of them… it CERTAINLY doesn’t excuse this BOY from his “dick-first, tiny-brain, no-spine” actions.
And as was also said… my heart just breaks for the girl. Not only does she NEED to prune this guy from her life-tree… but now, how in the HELL could you even face your mother EVER AGAIN?? Jeez… talk about ruining a HUGE part of your life. >.<
On 05/7/08 at 8:31 am
Trista said:
No, you are right. They should both have their genitals removed. With a butter knife, right Kar?
On 05/7/08 at 8:51 am
Kevin said:
Can I speak for Karri, here? How ’bout a rusty, bent, dull butter knife?
On 05/7/08 at 9:12 am
Karri said:
An exerpt from the Karri-Trista-Eve quote notebook. Ya, we have one, what?
K: “I would rather cut my finger off with a butter knife!”
T: “A frozen finger?”
K: “No, frozen meat is harder to cut through.”
T: “Actually, sometimes it’s easier.”
On 05/7/08 at 11:17 am
Kevin said:
::twisted::
I love the convo’s you guys have. >: )
But yeah… frozen is usually easier. You want it to be warm and PLENTY soggy. And THEN bring in the dull, rusty butter knife.
On 05/7/08 at 11:40 am
Karri said:
We are truly disturbed…for a multitude of reasons. I do so love this Trista quote…”Your vagina completely changed his personality.”
On 05/7/08 at 11:50 am
Trista said:
hahaha, that was one of my best, mostly because its true!!!
On 05/7/08 at 3:51 pm
Kevin said:
Guilty.
But hey… sometimes it IS just THAT incredible! Which is why my ongoing goal is to be as skilled, educated, gung-ho and um, WORTHY as possible… when another “golden snowflake” happens to drift out of the sky and melt on my tongue. 
On 05/7/08 at 3:44 pm
Carol said:
Uh….Karri…that makes at least twice.
PRUNE from the LIFE TREE?
Holy shit. When was the last time you heard that one. Oh, wait, I know!
On 05/7/08 at 10:52 am
PJ said:
That trailer is going to feel even smaller now. … I think this guy wanted out of this situation anyways and used this as a launching point. There’s no way he’s just sitting around watching judge shows and waiting on eve’s response to his letter if it’s an honest wakey mistakey. He’d at least be hocking in his prized collection of Dukes of Hazzard trading cards at the flea market for a one person tent if it was. He knew exactly what was up from the git go, and probably high fived himself in the mirror during the deed. This letter is his way of bragging about the story to someone, because, ya know, he can’t really do that in real life.
On 05/7/08 at 11:18 am
Kevin said:
Probably more true than we’d like to admit.
On 05/7/08 at 11:49 am
Trista said:
yeah, PJ…I am sure you are right. This is either make believe or bravado.
It was fun to answer either way though. :p
On 05/7/08 at 12:21 pm
PJ said:
“PJ … you are right.” That has a nice ring to it.
On 05/7/08 at 12:48 pm
Trista said:
And you know, it’s not the 1st time I have thought so.
On 05/7/08 at 1:17 pm
PJ said:
Woo Hoo!