Dirty, Dirty Divorcee’

“I am not judged by the number of times I fail, but by the number of times I succeed: and the number of times I succeed is in direct proportion to the number of times I fail and keep trying.”

Shattered dreams, broken promises, division of assets and custody battles…all the marks of a failed attempt at a sacred union summed up with one word… “Divorced.” Considering that over fifty percent of all marriages don’t last until death do us part I find it ironic that there appears to be such a negative stigma attached to what I perceive as a badge of honor. Perhaps my perception is skewed, but how can anyone negate the strength that one attains from surviving monumental heartbreak?

I’ve lived to tell the tale of my “Starter Marriage” (plus another) relatively unscathed. And anyone who has endured the tumultuous events caused by dissolution knows how daunting the aftermath can be. So why would others take issue with wearing the “D” label proudly?

Just recently I was not only asked, “why do you say that you’re divorced and not single?“   but I was also “commanded to change my status” on a popular social networking site by a fellow Eve staffer.  While I found Ms. Meghan’s request to be quite humorous, she obviously isn’t the only one who has made mention of my D-status lately. While harmless in their inquiries, I was left pondering…do others perceive me as some sort of spinster in waiting? I mean, I don’t even own a cat nevertheless a dozen, so why all the hoopla?

Yes, I am divorced, but like many who’ve traversed a similar path, I am also a strong, courageous woman who made some difficult decisions. Divorcee’s are not defined by a label or check mark. Divorce is not who we are, only what we’ve done…it is merely a blip on our lifelines. As with all life experiences, hopefully we learn from our lessons, never repeat them, and still maintain a glimmer of hope for the future.

So the next time you find yourself wondering why someone acknowledges their divorced status, don‘t judge them, but rather realize what they’ve overcome. Know that perhaps they look at blissful couples and dream that forever isn’t an urban legend but a tangible reality. Congratulate their perseverance. Acknowledge that their heart has scar tissue from withstanding some bumps and bruises. Celebrate new beginnings and the exciting adventures that lie ahead.

Don’t get me wrong, this is not pro-divorce propaganda. But the fact of the matter is, it happens…a lot, and quite often for very good reasons. To ostracize or condemn people for seeking happiness or attempting to rectify a poor decision is…well, it’s just not right. So don’t do it!

I need your help Eve-ers! I want to understand why divorce is such a dirty word. Do you frown upon those who walk down the aisle and straight to divorce court? Or, do you see divorce as a way of life in our grass is greener culture? Which box do you/would you check?

Who’s Robbing the Cradle Now?

Welcome to “He said, She said”, where we take a common question or topic and see if members of the opposite sex can get on the same page, or if they’ll have to agree to disagree.

Today’s Topic: In the world of dating…how young is too young?

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