Caf-fanatic

A person can develop a deeply personal relationship with their addictions. I’m talking legal addictions here. The over the counter kind that truthfully are just as unhealthy or detrimental to our lives if they were outlawed. There are plenty of things in this world I can live without. Unfortunately, at this moment in my life caffeine does not appear to be one of them.

I haven’t always been a junkie, but I have always been an insomniac. Sleep is known as a necessary evil around these parts and over the years I had to find ways to accommodate my hectic schedules to remain functional. In college I had it made. I worked the night shift while at school, succumbing to the insomnia and getting my homework done at the same time. It was then I started with Vivarin, caffeine pills they handed out in our welcome bags each new semester (nice modeling). I once took an exam after an all-nighter and 4 Vivarin on an empty stomach and thought I was going to die a shaky legged death. I’ve been building up my tolerance ever since.

Ten years later, I have no choice but to admit to my addiction. I once watched a documentary about recovering alcoholics and how they cope with their healing. One man redesigned his driving pattern to avoid passing any liquor stores to avoid temptation. I can relate. If I pass a Starbucks…you best believe I’m stopping, even if I have a ½ full coffee in the cup holder. My regular order, even in the winter, is a large iced coffee with a shot of espresso; knowing they make the shots 2 at a time and hoping they offer me the 2^nd shot for free. Sometimes, most of the time, I order 2 so I have one to drink on the way home, and the chaser to savor later before bedtime. A night cap if you will.

My coffee addiction is supplemented by my Energy Drink Addiction. Nowadays I can wake up, chug 2 Red Bulls as if they are a palate cleanser and still long for an early nap. This isn’t good. I somehow have talked myself into the idea that Sugar Free Energy Drink is GOOD for me! It’s not just caffeine, I say. It has B vitamins and Niacin! Niacin, (what the hell is Niacin?) never hurt anybody! I’ll buy it by the case. At some point, my body has got to feel the effects of this caffeine overload. Can you say ‘stomach ulcer’?

I imagine that the boozy homeless man, who forages through my recycling bin for returns, sees my pile of sugar free energy drink cans and old plastic coffee cups and says to himself, “and they think I have a problem!” I’ve tried to cut down, lessen my intake; switch evils. I had a great month on Green Tea and water, but it still doesn’t appease my need for the hard stuff.

I’m not a choc-o-holic. I don’t NEED pasta. I can stop at just one potato chip. T.V. for me has pretty much become background noise. Drinks are for Friday nights and friends, but caffeine…I indulge every day, and I don’t know how or why I should stop. Nor am I prepared for the headaches, body aches and overall displeasure that accompany denying me my lifeblood. Until I figure it out, I will be first in line crossing my fingers for that free extra shot of espresso.

Please give a warm welcome to our brand spanking new writer, Meghan! I think you all know her, yes? She was kind enough to step in while Karri had to be away, dealing with a family emergency. So give the new girl some loves…in the form of comments and accolades.