Pushing Buttons

Slowly and methodically it begins. Every movement is deliberate and calculating…creating a back and forth rhythm that unveils itself with each new wave. Seduced by the anticipation of the next vibration, you find yourself keenly aware that your heart is racing as the crescendo builds into a faster, harder frenzied rush of emotions.

Or is that emoticons?

Nearly all of us indulge in this daily ritual while others abhor the 160 character interruptions that are sent and received two-trillion times a year worldwide. With such an overabundance of mini-messages garnering our attention, one must wonder if we’ve given way to face-to-face in lieu of SMS?  Have the days of actually interacting and expressing ourselves been whittled down to abbreviations, acronyms and semi-colon winks, or is the text message simply a way to communicate in an efficient and sometimes provocative manner?

As a proponent, and occasional serial texter, I quite fancy the quick, no-hassle access to those who are just a quarty keyboard away. And for those of us who’ve become dependent on our mobile in-boxes we appreciate the ease and anytime communication that texting provides.  That being said, every once in a while my curiosity is peeked by those who choose to hit send before thinking. More importantly, why is there not a manual for appropriate texting etiquette?

Certainly, defining acceptable texting habits is subjective. Some people simply feel that it’s a lazy or inconsiderate way of communicating…and rightfully so as in some instances, it is. For example:

The Guilt Trip Text: “Why haven’t you called?” or, “where have you been?” will only put the recipient on the defensive. If you’re so distraught over the notion that you may have been rejected this is not the way to get someone’s attention. You’re only setting yourself up for being appeased…that is if you get a response at all!

The Psycho Texter: Enough already…take a breath and relax! Repeatedly psycho texting is just as disturbing as blowing up someone’s phone. Granted, sometimes a text gets swallowed by a satellite, but if the first 5 haven’t been returned, surely the last 27 won’t be either. Contrary to popular belief, cell phones, PDA’s and the like are not appendages that we’ve acquired in the 21^st century and perhaps the recipient is busy washing their dog. Or something.

The Holiday/Group Text: If you find yourself amidst a sea of fellow party goers singing Auld Lang Syne and the best effort you can put forth in wishing me a happy and prosperous New Year is by including me in a group message…save it, I don’t want it! Unless your house just burned down and you need a place to lay your weary head, keep the multiple recipients to a minimum.

The After Hours Texter: Texting under the influence is a punishable crime and one that you may pay for indefinitely. If you can’t control your wandering fingers, designate a dialer and hand over your portable lifeline to the nearest sober person! While “just thinking about you” may be a welcomed mid-afternoon surprise, at 2:00 a.m. it is as appealing as the stench of your breath after a long night with Jose Cuervo.

The Dangling Text: Nothing leaves someone to ponder their last correspondence more than the dangling text…it’s just out there cavorting amongst the airwaves unattended and unanswered. Whilst engaging in digital banter, keeping the pace is imperative. If you must abruptly return to the board meeting or tend to the whipper snappers, send a polite “/text” to inform your cohort that your attention is needed elsewhere and you will resume at a more convenient time. Not doing so is as rude as hanging up without saying good-bye…and that’s not okay either!

Although the advent of delivering our thoughts, fears and E.T.A. at the speed of light has become a modern day convenience, it should never become a replacement for interacting on a more intimate level. Taking a moment to pick up the phone and say “I just have a minute, but I wanted to let you know that you’ve been on my mind” is a refreshing concept, no? On the other hand, a mobile-to-mobile morning quickie can be just as delightful!

Have you become a slave to your texting habits or do you forgo the button exchange completely? Which faux pas is your biggest pet peeve and which did I fail to mention? Do you fancy incoming messages that are naughty in nature or are you a no frills information only texter?

Ditching Dutch-ess

Dear Eve,

The way I was raised it is proper dating etiquette for romantic suitors to pick up the tab.

So, when my last date suggested going Dutch, I thought he must be looking for a ‘friends with benefits’ scenario. This is not OK by me. I am looking for a lifelong mate, so, I want a demonstration that a man is willing to ‘invest’ in the idea of a long-term relationship.

I was attracted to this guy, so I bent my own rule and went along with it, paying my half. Now I’m afraid that he will always expect me to pay 50-50.

Eve, how do I avoid having to ever open my wallet for this guy again?

Signed,
Ditching Dutch

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