No Experience Required

CUSTOMER SERVICE REP. WANTED:

Must exhibit great people and communication skills; personal drive, ambition and willingness to learn.   Ability to take ownership of tasks and handle multiple priorities required.  Opportunities for advancement available for self-starters with…You know what?  Forget all that.  Just show up on time, don’t eat other people’s food in the break room and try not to pee in the sink.

Despite my attempts at being a respectful and loyal customer, I haven’t had the same mannered reception as an American consumer.  Customer Service is failing me across the board and appears to be on a steady decline with every trip I take out of the house.  Considering it is a source of constant human interaction with the world around us, I think some employees need a serious refresher course.

When exactly did we lower the bar on Customer Service?  Could somebody please let me know when ‘The Customer is Always RIGHT‘ became ‘RIGHT NOW, Lady, I’m just trying to get through my shift!  Stop making eye contact!’

Are we as consumers to blame?  We have all witnessed hoards of incredibly rude and aggressive customers in the past.  The shaking of fists and veins popping out of foreheads over the most mundane purchases.  Finger pointing and swearing like a dockworker is no way to experience customer satisfaction.

All the Employee Manuals point to the same basic principles of service etiquette:

*Smile and demonstrate good manners. Teach employees to smile, leading by example. Establish a culture of high quality customer service and commit to deliver superior service whether over the phone or face-to-face.

*Treat customers with respect, empathy, and efficiency.

*Listen actively to be responsive and exceed customer expectations.

*Say “Thank you” and “Please” graciously.

When was the last time you had THAT customer service experience?  Oh I have had those moments, and when I do I run right out and spread the word!  Free advertising and all you have to do is say Hello when you greet me!  No, of the late I have been victim of the following service related mishaps…

12 Items or Less Girl:

I know this isn’t your dream job.  Perhaps you’re saving up for college.  Or maybe you’re just earning extra cash to blow on more eyeliner.  Whatever your story, can you please refrain from carrying on a conversation with the bagger about who you’re currently blowing?  I don’t need a BJ story from a barely legal teen who’s handling my produce.  I’m not offended that I greeted you with a ‘Hello’ and all I got back was ‘OMG what time is it!?’, but let’s keep the sex talk to a minimum.

The Troubleshooter

I’m talking to you Dell.  I have spent countless hours on your line trying to resolve a PC issue.  I’m greeted by a heavy accent and a woman who claims her name is ‘Jessica Smith’.  I can barely understand her, and she can barely understand me because of the continuing echo on the line.  I don’t begrudge anyone viable employment…but should I really have to call back three separate times, bang my keys through your endless Voice Activated System just to break a language barrier?

No Bars…Mo’ Frustration

Cell phone companies…I know you reps aren’t responsible for whether or not I am getting service in my home.  Still, a little compassion and sense of logic would be helpful.  I’m not trying to get out of my contract because I want a new hot pink phone from your competitor.   I’m trying to get out of my contract because I can’t go to my mailbox to retrieve your grossly padded bill, stand there, and call you from my cell phone to pay it.  Can you hear me now?  *Sorry, call did not go through*.

What’s the 411?

I have had close to zero success with an informational service that is supposed to connect me to my city.  How.Is.That.Possible?  I openly offer the City, State, Name, Title and location…yet you still send me to the wrong number.  Then text it to me.  As if I don’t get enough worthless text messages.    I guess I could use the GPS System in my phone…Wait phone doesn’t work here.  Dammit!

I really am described as a people person…REALLY.

There is currently no waiting period on the line…so please take the time to fill out our friendly survey.

Thank you for choosing EVE-101.

Anyone like to tear their hair out over a service call or 10?  How do you define good customer service?  Do we expect too much for our dollar, or are we justified in not letting these behaviors slide by?    Any of you ladies and gents work in Customer Service and care to flip the coin?  Nightmares/Victories to share…