The Magic Poon

Most recently, I was having a casual conversation with a group of men in my office. They were *gasp* gossiping about a certain NFL quarterback on the disabled list for an injury. Turns out, the 4-1-1 down low is that this man is not hurting from physical impairment. Hypothetically, let’s agree his knee is strained. What was funny to me is that his *cough* knee is not hurting as much as his cock. I mean, ego. Apparently, he is totally wigging out over a woman.

From what I learned, said quarterback had finally brought his long term love to the same city after enduring a long distance relationship for more than three years. My guess would be that this move was to migrate the relationship to the next level. What does this million dollar man get in return? Apparently, the pleasure of walking in and seeing his beloved doing the dirty with her drug dealer. Rumor has it she was riding on top of him with great fervor. Oh, joy!

Does it make any sense to you? Is this long term love just using him for his name, influence and ability to fund her drug habit? How, exactly, does one move a thousand miles and so quickly find a new dealer? I guess it would not be hard to do if you are tied to a local celebrity. Then again, perhaps I should kick my cynic to the curb and believe she really, really LOVES him. And her crack. Or something.

Amidst the sports talk, one of the men used the word “poon” to describe the QB’s injury. My forthright reply was, “wow, that must be some magic poon”. Once they retrieved their composure from laughing, we talked at length about the power of a magic poon. I asked several point blank questions. First, had they EVER known the power of a magic poon? I was not surprised to learn that each had known one in their lifetime. I was, however, surprised, to learn each had ONLY known one “magic poon”. There was NOT a second magic poon in any of their histories. It seems the Magic Poon and The Highlander share a trait in common: There can be only one.

Thus, comes the subject (lol…but only once) of the illustrious, magnificent and oh-so-rare Magic Poon. Of course, I naturally felt compelled to learn more. What made it magical? Was it a look, a feeling, a smell, an anomaly? Was it completely shaved (or waxed) with the essence of strawberry and mango? What? Damn it, I wanted to know! Alas, there were no concrete answers, only more questions. It was magic poon, period. Despite my intelligent questions and deliberate attempts to garner more information, I was left with magic poon. The best I could gather, the magic poons are entities to their own, seemingly unrelated to the women who own them. For all I know, every other woman has a poon reminiscent of raspberries or tastes like peaches. All other poons could be sweet and tasty, but they are NOT magical.

Oh, I called other male friends only to inquire as to the magic-ness of any poon in their history. Surely, those who know me well can speak more freely. NOT! Apparently, there seems to be an unspoken zipper on the lips of any male conversation regarding magic poon. It’s as if it’s a secret only known to men, never to be understood by the opposite (dare I suggest fairer) sex. I, for one, really want to know what makes those poons so magical!!! Perhaps the men do not understand, either. There was simply a time in their lives where some undefinable quality about a woman made them impossible to deny.

True to form, several of those male friends turned the question table on me. Have I ever known a magic cock? Well, I will freely admit that I have known a magic man or two in my day. Trust me, they did not taste like strawberries! The bigger factor is that I would not classify them as magical. What I have learned is that magical and wonderful are two totally different things.

Women seem to have a great lover or two in the past. Yes, we do have “that” guy who rocked our ever-loving-worlds and left a standard rarely met. We may even use several men to form the ideal man. If nowhere else, in the sanctity of our our minds. However, men seem to have one woman who rotated their tires in a new direction. It’s not necessarily the woman, or anything about her, it’s all about the magic energy in her panties. This woman owns a magic poon and most of the men who have ever been in or around the vicinity.

I want to learn more. I want to know what makes a poon magical. I want to know why men only seem to embrace one. Why is one enough?

Come on, guys, who was YOUR magic poon…and why? Or, if you have been the Magic Poon, tell us why! Let’s all share a bit of the magic!

Why CAN’T we be friends?

“Friendless I can never be, for all mankind are my kindred…”
~Charles Dickens

Friendship to me is one of the most valuable gifts the world has bestowed upon humanity. Our friends are proud of us when we are at our best and they lift us up when we are at our worst. Friends know your flaws and shortcomings…and they love you anyway.

So what about cross-sex friendships? Are they an appealing but impossible ideal? Will the sexual tension always exist like a great wall between you? Will jealous significant others disallow friendships with the opposite sex? Or perhaps it is as straightforward as men and women simply being too different.

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