Jones-ing For Happiness

“Your own mind is a sacred enclosure into which nothing harmful can enter except by your permission.”
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I read somewhere that the average human thinks somewhere between 20,000 - 60,000 thoughts per day. That right there is a whole lot of thinking. As a person who probably leans towards the larger number, I am finally starting to recognize the power my thoughts…and their ability to shape my world. Now, now…stop rolling your eyes at me, people…I used to be a doubter too…but I have recently seen the error of my ways. So hear (read?) me out, and allow me to share some of my recently fostered, get happy habits.

• Happiness isn’t really about what is happening at all…it’s about how we are reacting to what is happening. Drop your ice cream on the sidewalk? Well shit, your thighs probably didn’t need that Jamocha Almond Crunch anyway. Stuck in traffic? Clearly you could benefit from some “alone” time (buzz, buzz). Positive reframing is vital.

• When you are calm on the inside, things seem a little more serene outside too. Of course there is always going to be some chaos…because, well, that’s life. But be smart, be like a scientist, and subscribe to the Chaos Theory. There is order in the chaos…learn to see yours. And soon you will realize that though the morning routine of get up, get washed, brush teeth, eat breakfast, pack lunch, grab things, get to the car and get going may be a bit hectic, there is a natural rhythm to it too. Find it, own it, and be calm within it. It’ll save your voice, your sanity, and your disposition.

• You are what you think…so be careful. When I was still married and miserable, I went to see my doctor, and told her I couldn’t sleep. She told me I was depressed…I was anxious…I had a sleeping disorder…and she gave me a wad of prescriptions. And I thought, “Oh my gawd, she must be right, I must be depressed and anxious and harboring a sleeping disorder!” I thought about it and I thought about it…and I felt worse and worse. I took more pills, and stronger ones at that. But I didn’t feel better, not really, until I got out of my marriage and off the pills. I couldn’t be happy until I got out of the situation and thought process that was causing my misery. No pill was going to do that for me.

• Like attracts like. This is why I think of myself as, say…a boomerang juggler. Yes, it’s weird but just go with it. See, I am constantly throwing these thought boomerangs out there, and what I launch out is coming right back at me. This is why you want to make sure you are throwing out love and positivism, rather than thoughts of debt or disappointment or dismemberment. Really…nobody likes a surprise visit from the dismemberment fairy.

• When guilt dissolves you can finally evolve! Seriously…guilt is like plaque; nasty, yellow gooey stuff, clogging up your life. Because my sister died at 16, I had trouble enjoying all of life’s little milestones that should have been pure joy. Even the birth of my children was bittersweet; because I got to do something my big sis was not afforded. But then I realized that my sister would be completely pissed at me for this bullshit behavior. In a way I was cheating her all over again by allowing guilt to steal the joy. I have since apologized, and let go. I feel like I am moving forward, and oddly enough my cholesterol levels are better…coincidence?

I am far from perfect on this positive thinking stuff, but practice is definitely helping me to get closer to my more perfect self. Today I might only have 797 of those 60,000 thoughts end up negative…and tomorrow will be even less. I have faith in this the way I have faith that Jesus Jones will never, ever make a comeback. And the way I have faith that right here, right now, there is no other place I want to be…

Now what say you kids? Is happiness something that you work at does it just come naturally? Do you struggle with negativity? Do you think I am becoming cheesy in my old age? Do you think Jesus Jones will actually ever make a comeback?