Mommy Needs New Toys!!!

Two months ago, I planned to treat myself to some new personal goodies after my house closed. It was my self-inflicted promise to be good to myself. Despite the fact I enjoy being the nurturing giver I am at my core, I often fall short in giving myself what I need or desire. Quite frankly, someone or something else is invariably more important on my priority list. Any woman knows this dilemma, especially those of us who are mothers or serve as a caregiver to others in any capacity.

Every now and again, we have to step back and realize we own all of our actions. We own our lack of action, as well. From time to time, we must put ourselves first. It is a fine line, yes? The line between self-preservation and being purely selfish.

As my life tends to work, my kiddos inadvertently reminded me of that very promise last week. We were talking of buying my little girl her own Pink Nintendo DS for her impending Sixth Birthday. I don’t know exactly how the conversation turned, but the gist was “Mommy, you never buy yourself any toys!”

Well, then, let’s just be sure to fix that problem! After all, I did make myself the promise. I had visions of orgasmic goodness during Orgasmathon ‘08. I recanted the story of how the only toy I have bought myself in recent years was a small *cough* massager intended to be used for sore shoulders. It is small, battery-operated and has three nubby prongs on it. Let’s just say it can do wonders with AAA batteries! The only sexually-related toys I ever owned were purchased more than a decade ago by my now ex-husband. They have long since lost their vibrating goodness, too.

I will be the first to admit that I needed these past five years to come full circle with my own views and needs. There seemed to be a Scarlet “V” associated with masturbatory pleasures when coupled with anything silicone, plastic or glass. While I would agree that men tend to fear what they do not understand, I think women are just as guilty of it. In particular, I was guilty of it.

Why should I care what anyone thinks at the adult store? We have a wonderful one here in Nashville. However, it is located in a part of town where I am liable to see anyone as I enter or exit. Maybe I’m too old fashioned in some ways, I don’t know. I just know I would much prefer to enter and exit there with a friend. I think it would be more fun. I know I would feel like a kid in a candy store. To me, it is oh-so-fun to share candy.

For this treat to myself, I shopped in the privacy of my own home. Let me just say that visiting www.tootimid.com was a big treat to myself. Pure. Utter. Joy.

It was also very confusing to know what to buy. I did feel like a kid in an online candy store! A grown-up kid with a Visa Check Card, absolutely zero will power and an insatiable appetite for the veritable cornucopia of options for my sexual table. Suffice it to say, I spent the equivalent of what I would spend taking friends for sushi and drinks. I also spent another $20 to have an ample supply of Duracells in two different sizes. Afterall, toys without batteries are not nearly as much fun. Thanks to my kiddos for teaching me that lesson, too. Be prepared!!!

Mommy has a present coming via the UPS man today. Despite the fact my UPS guy is hotter than a firecracker on the Fourth of July, he will not be personally delivering any of my explosions.

NoSiree, *giggle*, Bob. Mommy will be taking care of those all on her own.

To make myself feel truly at peace with my purchases, I did need to choose a place to store my own personal Toy Store. This is my new treasure and I must protect it from innocent eyes and others who may be not-so-innocent in my bedroom in the future. I looked at the top shelf of my closet and decided it was the perfect place. I took one of my linen-lined baskets and have determined that is where my orgasms, I mean toys, will reside.

Welcome to heaven!

Every mom should have a happy shelf. And this mom, I go “top shelf”, all the way! Mmmmmmm…margeritas and mahem. Maybe a play date, too!!!

What was your first visit like to an adult store? What was your favorite purchase? Where do you store your happy toys? Come on, I really want to know!

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