The nuts in a nutshell
April 2, 2008 · Print This Article
Okay, so I, Trista, completely dropped the ball this week and failed to get myself a He said / She said writing partner. So my loving, giving, life business partner Karri saved my procrastinating ass. Welcome to the “All About Me” blog, where we took several questions (out of the aforementioned book) and answered them to the best of our overtired, overworked ability. Enjoy??
Favorites
A book you strongly recommend:
Trista: This is probably the number one most difficult question you could ask me…I consume books the way most people consume lunch. I recently read Catch 22; I’d been meaning to for years. It was everything I’d hoped for and more…it captures the idiocy of bureaucracy quite brilliantly.
Karri: I’ll leave the scholarly reading to Trista, as I think you can learn all of life lessons from Dr. Suess. I mean seriously, The Cat in the Hat, Green Eggs and Ham, One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish…what else do you need, really?
The fruits of your labor
When you sleep you wear:
Trista: I am a definite fan of pajamas…they keep you warm and whatnot. Plus:
1. I live with small children.
2. I live in the land of earthquakes and
3. I sleep with a large dog.
Enough said, I’d say.
Karri: Socks. If I were to find myself suddenly sock-less, life would cease to exist as I know it.
Morals
You have read someone’s diary or gone through someone’s private belongings without permission:
Trista: I would never read someone’s journal, ever-ever. That is beyond an invasion of privacy, it’s an invasion of thought processes! To quote Being John Malkovich, “It’s my head, Schwartz!” I have, however, been guilty of going through belongings. I am always sorry after I do it though. Just because you go looking for something doesn’t mean that you are actually prepared to find it!
Karri: Ummmm…ya. So there’s a reason I was given the nickname “Magnum.” Don’t judge me!
Ego
Three words you would use to describe your ideal self:
Trista: Decisive. Wise. Respectable. Because currently I am a bit of a waffler who doesn’t know nearly as much as she’d like to who’d like some R.E.S.P.E.C.T. Like ‘Retha.
Karri: Skinny. Pretty. Rich. I’m reaching for the stars, no?
You are far better than most people you know at:
Trista: Making people laugh…at themselves.
Karri: Extracting pustules. It’s not as easy as one might think.
Top Three
Three lessons you have learned the hard way:
Trista:
You cannot change people.
You cannot fix people.
You shouldn’t drink laxative tea before an early morning meeting.
Karri:
Don’t steal.
Don’t cheat.
Don’t lie.
I was a rebellious child…teenager…adult.
Wishes and Dreams
Something you wish you could learn at the snap of your fingers:
Trista: Patience. I hear it’s an asset…or something.
Karri: French. It’s sexy, oui?
Emotions
The emotion you tend to hide the most:
Trista: Sadness. It is very much a private thing, for me, because really, who likes hanging out with a sad sack?
Karri: Disappointment. I refuse to let anyone know they’ve gotten the better of me. I’m a control freak, what?
Memories
Describe your first kiss:
Trista: I was seven…she was eleven. Yep, she. She followed me into the bathroom, turned out the lights and planted one on me. I still fear older women.
Karri: Ah, Teddy Couch. He was 4, I was 5. He serenaded me with his Fisher Price guitar while singing Johnny Cash right before he shoved his tongue down my throat.
Fears
Your greatest fear:
Trista: Besides crossbow wielding clowns? Failure to live up to my potential. And I don’t mean the potential that others tell me I have; I mean the potential I see in myself. My fear of failure kept me from doing for a long time, now it keeps me from resting. I am fairly certain there is a happy medium in there somewhere…I just need to stop for a second so I can find it.
Karri: I thought this was supposed to be funny, Trista…sheesh! I just don’t want to crash land in the Swiss Alps on my way to France and ultimately die of hypothermia. My ideal self would be too thin for anyone to eat.
Sexuality
An unfulfilled sexual fantasy:
Watch the show tomorrow night for our answers on this one!
Your turn, kids! We want YOU to answer the questions too. Answer as few or as many as you’d like. This has become such an incestuous little family over here at eve-101…let’s all get to know each other a little better, m’kay?
On 04/2/08 at 5:39 am
Kevin said:
Recommended Book: Apparently there’s some relationship book that’s a really great read being sent to me… but I haven’t gotten it, yet.
Sleepwear: Nothing. NEED to feel clean sheets and warm skin when I sleep. Nothing else!
Snooped Diary/Belongings: One of my golden rules is to NEVER do this. Journals, diaries, email, etc. Simply OFF limits. Well… except when you KNOW someone is cheating/lying/hiding something major… then you have no choice. NEVER feel good afterward, however.
3 Words: Strong. Loving. Successful. This was just too hard… but those 3 will do.
Far better than others you know: …with my hands. Using them in massages, using tools, cooking, typing, being artistic, sex… should I go on?
3 Lessons: 1. Trust will make or break ANYTHING. 2. Love is the most abundant, yet rarest thing in the world. 3. Be diligent when choosing your friends.
Learn in a snap: To play the piano. I’ve always wanted to learn… and would LOVE to be able to play classical, blues, and rock on one. But dammit… lessons are expensive, and so are the actual pianos!
Hidden Emotion: Attraction. Not on purpose. And this is a big fault of mine. But I have a hard time taking that first step towards someone I like.
First Kiss: Ha! Can’t remember exactly who… but it was one of 3 of my older sister’s friends. I was the “kissing dummy” one night… and my fascination with women was born.
Greatest Fear: Helplessness. To see something horrible happening, or someone suffering, and not being able to do anything about it… drives me insane.
Unfulfilled Sexual Fantasy: Spending a warm and humid day with my sig other, having sex under a waterfall and in a private lagoon, in the middle of a forest in Belize.
Is there REALLY a show this week??
On 04/2/08 at 6:35 am
Trista said:
Piano…gooood answer. I too would love to be able to play but I never progressed beyond chopsticks.
And yes! There is a show…promise!
On 04/2/08 at 10:25 am
Kevin said:
It would be nice to add another facet to my “hands” repertoire.
On 04/2/08 at 6:57 am
Karri said:
Well done Captain! Thanks for playing along
Belize…nice choice!
On 04/2/08 at 10:27 am
Kevin said:
Ever been? That’s one sweet country to vacation in. We did an excursion on a Caribbean cruise where we tubed down an underground river. It was about a mile and a half… that’s right… underground. It was frickin’ sweet. Anyway, between the diving, fishing and frolicking in the woods, I wanna go back, BIG TIME! And I didn’t even mention the Mayan ruins.
On 04/2/08 at 10:34 am
Karri said:
I haven’t been. I was planning a trip last year, but he bought me Milk Bone pj’s, so… And before someone else says I’m shallow…I’m kidding! Sort of. Mostly.Send me pics, I want to live vikarriously through you.
On 04/3/08 at 8:01 am
Kevin said:
Doh!! Those damn pj’s. Ugh! Whotta douche. I mean seriously… who DOES that???
On 04/3/08 at 9:09 am
Karri said:
The Cuban Octopus, that’s who.
On 04/3/08 at 1:23 pm
Kevin said:
Wait…. what?? Is THAT his nickname?? Holy shit. LMAO! I guess he was like a Mr. Feelyhands? Lol.
On 04/2/08 at 6:10 am
PrincessQ said:
I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!
Can I steal these questions for a blog when I can’t think of anything to write? LOL
So Trista, I shouldn’t lock you in a bathroom and plant a kiss on you?
On 04/2/08 at 6:34 am
Trista said:
Sure, we stole em from the “All About Me” book that Karri had hanging around on her bookshelf!
And no…no sneak-kisses!
On 04/2/08 at 6:59 am
Karri said:
Oh my gosh, T. Is that why elevators freak you out?
On 04/2/08 at 8:19 am
Trista said:
Oh. My. God!
Did we find the root of my issue??!
Let the healing begin!
On 04/2/08 at 6:26 am
Fiona said:
Gosh, my fav book has always been Animal Farm, sure I read it at 14 as part of the school cariculum, but I adore it.
Keri has a point with Dr. Suess, The Better Butter Battle, The Lorax and Horton Hears a Who are entertaining stories with important messages…. and she thought she was just throwing a spanner in the works… heh.
My first kiss was when I was 13. He was 18, he was also my first boyfriend. How boring.
On 04/2/08 at 6:32 am
Trista said:
I absolutely agree that Seuss is a necessary foundation…my kids are learning to read with his books right now.
And I love you mentioned The Better Butter Battle…people always forget that one and it’s a great, for sure.
On 04/2/08 at 8:03 am
Fiona said:
My Mouse rolls her eyes when The Lorax comes out, she’s heard it so often. lol. She is also learning to read with the late great Dr.
On 04/2/08 at 12:05 pm
Trista said:
I’m just as bad…my kids have many parts memorized. That and Yertle the Turtle. I just love that one.
On 04/2/08 at 7:02 am
Karri said:
Sadly, Fiona I was serious. I’ve never lost my love for big books with bright colors. SARK is another of my absolute faves…she’s the adult version.
On 04/2/08 at 8:03 am
Fiona said:
SARK, huh? I’ll have to check that out!
On 04/2/08 at 8:16 am
Karri said:
Sark’s Journal and Playbook, The Bodacious Book of Succulence and Transformation Soup are just a few of my favorite things.
On 04/2/08 at 6:47 am
Balancing Good & Evil Daily said:
I would have to say Fahrenheit 451 for a favorite book. As to the rest, I don’t know what to say except, “Magnum” can investigate me any time!
On 04/2/08 at 7:04 am
Karri said:
Careful what you wish for, I think I missed my calling. I’m a good little snoop.
On 04/2/08 at 7:43 am
Trista said:
Bradbury…good stuff.
On 04/2/08 at 7:09 am
Carol said:
Immediately when I read never-ever-ever from Trista on the journal…I knew the Magnum would make an appearance !
I miss reading. I need to carve out time for adult books, too! The last thing I read was with Morgan…and she is reading to me.
On 04/2/08 at 7:38 am
Karri said:
Don’t let her fool you, she’ll snoop too under “Magnum-esque” conditions.
On 04/2/08 at 7:48 am
Trista said:
I HAVE snooped…but no journal reading. There is a difference between being nosy and being acutely aware that something fishy is going on. Like that your husband is mating like an Elephant Seal with every female that crosses his path.
Sometimes you just need a little proof…
On 04/2/08 at 8:00 am
Carol said:
*snort*
Husband is different than boyfriend, no? I mean, LEGALLY, you have the right to look…
Elephant Seals…must.learn.more.
All I can think about right now is having a little Magnum in me…and I’m not talking the investigative variety.
On 04/2/08 at 8:02 am
Cassie said:
HAHAHAHA
Magnum!!!
On 04/2/08 at 8:03 am
Karri said:
At least one of us is getting some around here. *sigh*
On 04/2/08 at 8:20 am
Trista said:
Yeah…no shit!
Damn, K…are we being sad sacks?
On 04/2/08 at 10:35 am
Karri said:
Dry, but not sad.
Who said that?
On 04/2/08 at 7:11 am
Cassie said:
Book(s) I would recommend….Of Saints and Shadows by Christopher Golden ( an the other books in the Shadow Saga by him)
When I sleep I wear either pj bottoms and a tee or shorts and a tee
never read someone’s diary…never really gone through anyone’s stuff either
my ideal self: strong, loving, rich
I am far batter than most at being me…I’m pretty sure there isn’t anyone else that can do THAT
Three lessons: gravity can be a mutherfucka, people aren’t always as nice as they seem, not every one is gonna care about what you care about and that’s alright!
Something I wish I could learn….the powerball numbers
The emotion I hide the most: pretty much all of them, except happiness
my first kiss….was Arnold Parisi in high school at the state fair…he was a good kisser
greatest fear: not being ‘there’ when needed…or heights..they run pretty even
unfulfilled sexual fantasy….I’ve answered that one already!!!
On 04/2/08 at 7:40 am
Karri said:
“better than most at being me”…I LOVELOVELOVE that answer! Ahhh…kissing at the fair…now those are good memories.
On 04/2/08 at 7:50 am
Trista said:
I wish I could learn the powerball numbers too!
On 04/2/08 at 7:24 am
Sarahh said:
I want a pink Brittany Wig! I have no more to add. I am a bit of a bitchy bag instead of a sad sack today.
Much love and as always…
Baaaa….
On 04/2/08 at 7:41 am
Karri said:
I see you’ve joined the Eve-101 cycle…welcome!
On 04/2/08 at 8:22 am
His Little Slut said:
A book you strongly recommend:
I still love To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee best.
When you sleep you wear:
I wear panties and a tee shirt or nothing at all.
You have read someone’s diary or gone through someone’s private belongings without permission:
I have done it only if or when I have reason to no longer trust him or her. It’s only happened like twice.
Three words you would use to describe your ideal self:
Irresistible. Happy. Rich.
You are far better than most people you know at:
Writing.
Three lessons you have learned the hard way:
Follow your bliss.
Never lose sight of your true passions.
Parents are not around forever (RIP, Daddy).
Something you wish you could learn at the snap of your fingers:
Photography – all of it.
The emotion you tend to hide the most:
Disappointment.
Describe your first kiss:
First grade. Scotty. Simple and sweet.
Your greatest fear:
To die alone.
An unfulfilled sexual fantasy:
Gangbang or a successful DP.
On 04/2/08 at 8:35 am
Karri said:
If I didn’t know better, I’d think I wrote that. Or at least 6 out of 10. We are more than half alike.
On 04/2/08 at 12:08 pm
Trista said:
cough*DP*cough
On 04/2/08 at 1:10 pm
Rex said:
I figured that was a standard in all women’s fantasies…
On 04/2/08 at 1:47 pm
PJ said:
The word “successful” in there leads me to believe there has been an unsuccessful attempt or attempts.
On 04/2/08 at 1:57 pm
Trista said:
DP: not as easy as it looks, folks!
On 04/2/08 at 2:09 pm
Rex said:
There are so many folks I know who’ve done that (or the Eiffel Tower), it’s not even funny.
They claim that and threesomes are overrated. I say FUCK THAT. You’re not deterring me from forever wishing to bed two chicks at once!
On 04/2/08 at 4:42 pm
His Little Slut said:
Yes. Awkward DP’s have occurred. Not so much fun. I want a successful DP.
On 04/2/08 at 4:41 pm
His Little Slut said:
Very awesome! I am, of course, intrigued and impressed!
On 04/2/08 at 8:52 am
SDGrrr(l) said:
I was so ready for Karri to say The Four Agreements was her fav book. What happened chica, did you run out of Xanax?
As for the rest…jeez…isn’t there a term for leaving a blog-length comment on someone’s blog? I’ll try to be quick:
Fav book: no such thing. Fav authors? Dean Koontz, Michael Crichton, Greg Iles, Nelson DeMille, Margaret Atwood, Sylvia Plath.
PJs. Flannel or cotton. I like to burrow when I sleep.
I’ve snooped in dressers & bedside drawers but not read a journal. Haven’t dated anyone who kept a journal. Always regretted snooping. Wasn’t prepared for the finds.
Ideal self: Honest. Compassionate. (how’d that get in there??) HAPPY. And I really like Trista’s Wise…
Better than most I know at…rescuing dogs? Does that count? All the others are bad things…
3 hard lessons: Never ever ever ever lie. About the important things. You can’t be responsible for someone else’s happiness; no one else should be responsible for yours. Love yourself.
Learn at the snap of my fingers: anything that strikes me at the time.
Emotion I hide: Weakness/vulnerability. Guess that’s not really an emotion…
1st kiss: AJ Fechter. Camp counselor BBQ. Horrid.
Greatest fear: failure
Unfulfilled sexual fantasy: there’s a certain person in Philly…
On 04/2/08 at 10:05 am
Karri said:
Of course The Four Agreements is right up there at the top of my list, my bible if you will, but c’mon…not even Don Miguel Ruiz can compete with Dr. Suess.
Snooping always ends in regret, even for Magnum. And I know not a soul who is better at rescuing dogs…you are truly a hero! Damn! I should have gone with vulnerability too.
On 04/2/08 at 10:17 am
Rex said:
Don Ruiz will be mad that you haven’t become your own shaman yet.
On 04/2/08 at 10:20 am
Karri said:
I’m starting a commune…what more do you want from me? Wait! Stop right there, nevermind.
On 04/2/08 at 10:29 am
Rex said:
…
I was THIS close to dropping the F (Fantasy) Bomb on ya! ^_^
“Well, you can start with these five things I absolutely have to do before I turn 30…”
On 04/2/08 at 10:34 am
Trista said:
watch out, Rex has diiirty fantasies. Pink sock, anyone?
On 04/2/08 at 10:37 am
Rex said:
That one has long since been removed from the list.
…and replaced with The White Dragon.
On 04/2/08 at 12:08 pm
Trista said:
Oh, Rex…really.
On 04/2/08 at 1:08 pm
Rex said:
Oh, Trista… it’s all a lie. haha
There is no list. Because there’s no hope. Obama stole all of mine.
On 04/2/08 at 1:10 pm
Trista said:
Damn hopemonger!
On 04/2/08 at 1:19 pm
Rex said:
…he’s a hope-stealing secret muslim. pass it on…
hahaha Gotta love politics.
On 04/2/08 at 10:22 am
SDGrrr(l) said:
Dr Suess’s lessons on life are much more my reading (and philosophy) than Don Miguel Enrique Martinez Tejeda Contreras de Gamo Ruiz… Much along the lines of “Everything I Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten.”
On 04/2/08 at 10:32 am
Trista said:
I like Shel Silverstein’s life lessons too. He is the reason I have wanted to be a writer, since age 5.
On 04/2/08 at 10:37 am
Karri said:
Honey, I think living so close to the border is starting to get to you.
On 04/2/08 at 2:00 pm
SDGrrr(l) said:
You know what’s really sad? All of those last names (except de Gamo) are people I’ve dated. Back East. Only one was here in CA!!
On 04/2/08 at 4:48 pm
Karri said:
Add Cornejo…that was mine once. Well, his I refused to be Karri Cornhole! Great, now I’ll appear racist and shallow…I’m winning over fans left and right.
On 04/2/08 at 5:50 pm
Rex said:
Yeah… you never did tell me which of the three halves of me you wanted to pop out in nine months time.
p.s. I’m calling you Kornhole from now on.
On 04/2/08 at 10:37 am
Trista said:
ahhh, Atwood and Plath. I love them both, a lot. Not exactly uplifting reading though, huh?
On 04/2/08 at 1:59 pm
SDGrrr(l) said:
No, not to be read on a rainy or otherwise blue day. I was SUPER hugely into Plath in high school and college, but that was when I was also extremely depressed. Go figure.
On 04/2/08 at 8:56 am
Rex said:
A book you strongly recommend:
Cripes. I read too much to have only one book come to mind. Besides, my reading selection isn’t the most socially accepted… Code books. Technical manuals. Tomes on the paranormal/metaphysical/occult. I also thoroughly enjoy the classics. Chaucer. Shakespeare. Dumas. Verne. Burroughs. etc. But I’ll give you a safe (and contemporary) recommendation: CHOKE, by Chuck Palahniuk. I enjoy all his work, but that was the first of his I read.
When you sleep you wear:
Boxer briefs. Sometimes a tee if it’s too cold/winter.
You have read someone’s diary or gone through someone’s private belongings without permission:
NEIN. Although I’ve been given permission three times by friends/interests. I guess as a sign that they trust me? Not sure. I know I have this weird unconscious ability that allows people to divulge their innermost secrets and wishes. It ALWAYS happens to me, in person or online. Afterwards, they all say the same thing to me: “I don’t know why I told you all that.”
Three words you would use to describe your ideal self:
Confident. Comfortable. Content.
You are far better than most people you know at:
…i don’t know…
Three lessons you have learned the hard way:
Save your deepest thoughts and emotions for those you know for certain who care.
Most people are only concerned about themselves… be more selfish and less accommodating for your own sake.
Offer allegiance to no one.
Something you wish you could learn at the snap of your fingers:
Easy. SUPERIOR COCKMANSHIP. If you can wield your peener with a masterful stroke… you apparently can get away with ANYTHING. heh
The emotion you tend to hide the most:
Disappointment. Which usually leads to depression. Even the situation that garnered the emotional response wasn’t even my fault.
Describe your first kiss:
3rd grade. During recess. Jennifer Martinez. She was tomboy’s tomboy and loved competition. The random fall day some of the kids were seeing who’s the fastest and it down to Jen and I. I beat her (barely)… then seconds after the bell rang, she laid one on me.
Your greatest fear:
Dying young and/or alone.
An unfulfilled sexual fantasy:
Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit. I could write a 10,000 word blog to answer this sumbitch. I’ll just write that it’s “a lot”.
On 04/2/08 at 10:09 am
Karri said: