Trekking Through the Bush
July 24, 2008 · Print This Article
Dear Eve,
Thru the years there seems to have been a major trend toward women with shaved pubes, so much so that guys who like a nice bush are considered fetishists! Being a guy who loves to give a woman oral sex I will admit that a shaved vagina is much more accessible, but I actually prefer her to have a jungle as deep and lush as an Amazonian rain forest for me to feast upon the beautiful prize hidden within.
Some of the best sex I’ve had was sweaty, unwashed, morning sex with the funk of armpits permeating the air and dried semen still present in my partner’s pubic hair from the night before…not to mention the morning mouth breath. That’s as real as it gets baby.
Eve, how do I convince a woman to let her garden grow?
Curiously,
The Bush Viper
Dear BV,
I’ll cut you some slack on the term “fetishists” and just assume that the vagfro is simply your preference and not an object that you obsess over or fixate on. That being said, you’re still a bit of a freak, aren’t cha’? Seriously, stench and crust turn you on? M’kay…well, at least we can rest assured knowing that you won’t be violating Megan’s Law anytime soon since you don’t particularly fancy the sweet smell of innocence.
Here’s the deal BV, we ladies just want to feel pretty, can’t you understand that? Not necessarily prepubescent porn star pretty, but you must realize that a tangled and matted snatch patch does nothing more for us than provide a breading ground for baking yeast. Sure, we all like a slice of warm buttered bread now and again, but not one that itches and burns. Get me?
Granted, she doesn’t have to resemble a barely legal teen, but how about a little compromise, eh? Rather than suggest your woman walk around sporting a panty pillow, why don’t you get a little creative instead? If you absolutely must nuzzle your muzzle in follicles, try her lovely locks instead. Gee, I bet they smell terrific! And much more so than a Marley mound brushing between her thighs. C’mon do you really want to risk chipping a tooth on a dreadlock bead whilst searching for her love button? I thought not.
Pubes aren’t limited to all or nothing. There’s a plethora of bush coiffing options from creative clipper designs to contrasting curtains and drapes; or perhaps a henna design or temporary tattoo, all of which are a reflection of her unique personality. So, have fun, change it up, encourage her to show her creative side and think quality not quantity. Let the naturists preserve the rainforest and you just keep ‘tilling the soil.
KISSKISS
LOVELOVE,
Eve
What do you think, kids? Wax it, shave it, braid it…what’s your preference? Where does your garden grow?
On 07/24/08 at 4:53 am
Cassie said:
“C’mon do you really want to risk chipping a tooth on a dreadlock bead whilst searching for her love button?”<—Karri, that had me effin ROLLING!!!!! hahahahaha
I prefer a guy to be trimmed, but not completely bald. I don’t want to feel like I’m with a twelve year old!!! I keep the bush trimmed as well, but have issues with complete baldness. It don’t feel right!! LOL
On 07/24/08 at 6:02 am
Karri said:
I’ve never been a bald girl either…except for that one tragic mishap with the waxer…ughhhh!
On 07/24/08 at 4:53 am
PrincessQuello said:
I’ve always shaved it…and I got it waxed when I was in Turkey (OW!!). If I’m not bare down there, I feel dirty…unkept…I don’t care if I’ve been celibate for months. I shave for me…and no guy I’ve been with has complained about my lack of hair down there. I also shave for religious reasons…
Besides, I’m from the middle east. I’m a little on the hairy side so anywhere I can shave it to feel cleaner, I will.
On 07/24/08 at 4:54 am
PrincessQuello said:
Oh and for guys?
Trim that shit. I don’t wanna have to dig through the amazon to find your tiny dick anyway.
On 07/24/08 at 7:16 am
Jime said:
Hahaaaa, nice. Like looking for a termite in a pile of sawdust.
On 07/24/08 at 7:23 am
Karri said:
If I have to don a headlamp and machete you can just forget it. There’s nothing in there worth that amount of work.
On 07/24/08 at 8:04 am
Jime said:
At least a headlamp and a machete sounds like you’re going on an adventure. Better than having to don a microscope and an X-Acto knife!
On 07/24/08 at 9:10 am
Karri said:
Thanks for that. I just pictured a penis sprawled out on a dissection table. Eeewwww!
On 07/24/08 at 10:05 am
Jime said:
E-gads! When I said I admire your thought process and how you “break things down” I didn’t mean literally!
On 07/24/08 at 6:04 am
Karri said:
Okay, I just have to ask because I really don’t know, you shave for religious reasons?
On 07/24/08 at 6:15 am
PrincessQuello said:
Yeah. In Islam, modesty and cleanliness is huge. Women are supposed to keep it all clean down there. That’s why waxing is such a huge thing in Turkey
On 07/24/08 at 6:27 am
Karri said:
Really? I had no idea! Thanks for sharing, girl.
On 07/24/08 at 6:42 am
PrincessQuello said:
Of course
On 07/24/08 at 6:47 am
Tron said:
Muslim women are also not allowed to put pigs ino their vagina. THeir religion forbade it…because they are unclean or something…the pigs not the vaginas (I think?). Gawsh… I hate to be a spoil sport and make this about politics…but it chaps my hide a bit when I have to own up to the realities of opression in the world… american women are free to put as many pigs as they possibly can into their mud pit…and muslim women aren’t even allowed one…my soul weeps for liberty. ANd I have to say I never knew turkey’s were muslim…it finally makes since why it’s the food of choice on thanksgiving though… afterall, as christians we are taught to devour our enemies are we not? Anyhow…great post… it’s a winner people really get a kick out of pubes… something about hair growing near the tickley bits is…well, it’s just magic ain’t it?
On 07/24/08 at 7:01 am
Cassie said:
OK–I may rot in hell for this, but I laughed at this….REALLY HARD!!! hahahahahahahahaha
On 07/24/08 at 7:07 am
Tron said:
Thanks…please convince everyone else in here to stroke my ego as well and it works we’ll have a party… a cupcake party, even.
On 07/24/08 at 7:21 am
Cassie said:
YUMMMMM, cupcakes!! LOL
On 07/24/08 at 9:44 am
SDGrrr(L) said:
Um, pardon me being completely ignorant here, but is “pig” a euphamism for something else? I mean, really…you can’t mean an actual pig…because, well, wtf??
On 07/24/08 at 6:29 am
Meghan said:
Ewwww! Sorry, Bush Viper…but ewwww.
THIS ‘Meghan’s Law’ is nothing below the belt. And thats not just for the men out there…it’s how like it. Just sayin’.
On 07/24/08 at 6:32 am
Karri said:
Nothing?! You too? Wax, shave or cream?
On 07/24/08 at 6:34 am
Meghan said:
Nothing…I like how it feels. Usually wax, but my waxer hightailed it for Miami (bitch). So until I get a new name, shaving is all the rage.
On 07/24/08 at 6:42 am
Karri said:
You’re a better woman than I am!
.
Waxing the hooha = Sadomasochism!!!
.
That’s one adventure that I’ll never do again. And don’t bother telling me that it gets easier, because I will never get used to the “stink bug” position if you know what I’m sayin’.
On 07/24/08 at 6:52 am
Meghan said:
This lady was good. It took no time at all. It was a small price to pay as far as I was concerned. Now that she’s gone, I’d gladly fly her in for the skills!
On 07/24/08 at 7:06 am
Karri said:
When you’re good, you’re good. I have patients that fly in from your side of the country. It boggles my mind, but I’m flattered!
On 07/24/08 at 6:41 am
Svaha said:
I like varying degrees of shaved to well trimmed. Once had a gf who shaved it into a diamond for me (my last name), that was kinda hottt.
And I manscape.
On 07/24/08 at 6:44 am
Karri said:
Well, wasn’t that sweet of her!
.
So you’re not a fan of the bushy-bush?
.
And, thank you…we ladies appreciate the effort.
On 07/24/08 at 7:08 am
Phoenix said:
I think there has to be a balance between aestetics and up-keep.
I say go ahead and ask her straight forwardly and see what she says.
.
I, for example, do not wear make up on the daily. I am low maintenence. So, when I shaved it all the way just to try it once, it was too much work to keep up. (I am sooooooooo not into pain, so waxing was outta the question.)
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But, low maintenence or not, I still make sure to keep it trimmed, because I know I would prefer it that way if I was the one going down on me. :p
.
As for the guy sending in the question, well, if my guy wanted me to let it all grow out, I probably would, but only cuz it’s a good excuse to do less work, and I’m a lazy bitch.
On 07/24/08 at 7:20 am
Karri said:
I’ll be the first girl to sign up for eliminating a beauty regimen task, but if I let it all grow out then I’d have to go buy all new extra wide chonies to keep that shit covered up. Money v.s. time… I’ll keep my Mach III handy.
On 07/24/08 at 7:13 am
Jime said:
GAH! My brain is fried from all the descriptive images you have downloaded into it! I’ve been vaginized!
On 07/24/08 at 7:15 am
Meghan said:
That just reminded me of ‘Ghostbusters’!!
“I’ve been slimed!”…lol!
On 07/24/08 at 7:22 am
Jime said:
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoooooooooooa…nice shootin’ Tex.”
On 07/24/08 at 7:31 am
Meghan said:
“Grab Your STICK!”, “HOLDING IT!. SMOKING, READY!”
LOL!!
On 07/24/08 at 8:09 am
Jime said:
Hahahaaa. “Yes, it’s true. This man has no dick.”
On 07/24/08 at 7:37 am
Cap'n Nina said:
My friends and I had this discussion a couple of weekends ago. We had the guys hiding under the table. My point during the conversation was this:
Some like a full set of drapes, some like just a little lace, some just like a set of shades, and some like their windows bare. Basically, everyone decorates differently. Throw in a little potpourri and we’re good to go!
On 07/24/08 at 8:53 am
Tron said:
I would have figured that a pirate such as yourself would’ve gone for karri’s suggestion of the beaded dread ala Jack sparrow.
On 07/24/08 at 8:54 am
Karri said:
What did the men say about their preferences? Did they fancy the jungle like BV up there, or were they indifferent? Or did they just hide under the table with their hands over their ears?
On 07/24/08 at 7:38 am
lisaq said:
Okay, I gottta jump on the bare is better bandwagon. Recently, I tried going back to the whole landing strip approach but it made me crazy and I had to go back to well…basics.
And BV, dude, ewwwwww!!!
On 07/24/08 at 8:56 am
Karri said:
Don’t you feel…well, naked? And cold?
On 07/24/08 at 9:40 am
Phoenix said:
And, well, prepubescent?
On 07/24/08 at 9:47 am
Karri said:
I think we’re the minority around here today, P.
.
Eve-101…because bare is better…?
On 07/24/08 at 9:59 am
Rex said:
To paraphrase The Viper, it certainly would make cleaning up the dried semen still present on my partner from the night before a LOT easier…
On 07/24/08 at 10:04 am
Karri said:
Ya, but The Viper likes crusty pubes…WHAT? WHY?!
On 07/24/08 at 10:10 am
Rex said:
Sense of accomplishment? I dunno. Personally, I’d go for the hair on the head. She’ll thank me later when she has a more luxuriant ‘do.
On 07/24/08 at 10:46 am
Trista said:
I do not like semen flying around my head, mkay? thanks. Because nothing takes me out of the mood quicker than feeling like someone just threw acid at my eyeballs.
On 07/24/08 at 10:50 am
Rex said:
I wrote HAIR, not eyeballs. I may be inexperienced but I do know how to aim.
On 07/24/08 at 11:11 am
Trista said:
Too close for comfort…
On 07/24/08 at 11:13 am
Karri said:
It’s all fun and games until someone shoots an eye out!
On 07/24/08 at 11:37 am
Rex said:
Fiiiiiiiine.
Pearl Necklaces all around.
On 07/24/08 at 8:11 am
bryan said:
i prefer no hair, but some hair is fine and can be sexy as long as it is groomed and the most important parts are shaven clean.
as for me i stay well groomed. return the favor so to speak, plus it just looks better.
On 07/24/08 at 8:57 am
Karri said:
We women folk applaud and appreciate your efforts!
.
So bare is better in your opinion?
On 07/24/08 at 1:24 pm
bryan said:
imo it is. i like how it looks, i like the fact i’m not gonna get a hair caught in the back of my throat and start hacking like a cat. when there are alot of fluids involved it makes for easier clean up or lick up.
not saying some hair isn’t sexy, it is as long as the labia is silky smooth… then again it is all about preference i suppose.
On 07/24/08 at 8:47 am
Trista said:
I cannot believe I slept through a party this exciting!
.
I have to change mine up sometimes. It’s like my hair elsewhere…I get bored!
On 07/24/08 at 8:58 am
Karri said:
I knew we should’ve bought the hair down there dye!
On 07/24/08 at 9:42 am
Phoenix said:
I agree with T on both accounts.
On 07/24/08 at 9:12 am
The other Tori said:
used to have a landing strip until I had surgery a few years ago and woke up bald …been that way ever since and its been years ….and I agree: men, a little manscaping goes a long way!
On 07/24/08 at 9:30 am
Karri said:
I’ve woken up from surgery with a surprise or two, but waking up bald, WTF? Shouldn’t you have to sign a consent for that?!
On 07/24/08 at 9:16 am
Rex said:
I’ve never experienced a bare hoohah.
BIG SURPRISE THERE.
On 07/24/08 at 9:31 am
Karri said:
But you’ve seen one, yes?
.
***Nice to see you Rex, its been far too long!
On 07/24/08 at 9:45 am
Rex said:
I’ve seen one on the internet, sure. Thank Krishna for that…
No fucking way can I relate with Bush Viper, but I wasn’t so affected either way with the foliage I’ve encountered. Two were meticulously trimmed… the third was au naturale yet was far from resembling a jungle.
It likely wouldn’t be a big deal once I’m finally personally associated with bald moose knuckle. “Oh hey. I can see your happy bean! Cool. …and you’re PIERCED?! huh. OK.”
Nice to see you too. However, it’s only been a month. heh I have lots of shit to wade through these days.
p.s. Whenever I see you in person, don’t be mad if I only wave at you during salutations. I don’t know where you escort-lovin’ hands have been.
On 07/24/08 at 9:51 am
Karri said:
Clit piercing, really, you had to go there?! Lick it, kiss it, suck it, smack it around a little, but for the love of gawd, do NOT stick a needle in it!!!
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And for the record…I washed my hands.
On 07/24/08 at 9:57 am
Rex said:
Thanks to the internet, I’ve seen plenty of metal in places where it shouldn’t be on a woman’s body. Don’t make me pull out some links…
I’m not touching you until your next full body chemical peel. haha
On 07/24/08 at 11:54 am
Karri said:
No links necessary m’dear. I was just recently privy to one and I gotta say…I’d watch “two girls and a cup” ten times a day before I could ever get through a piercing…HELL NO!!!
On 07/24/08 at 6:52 pm
Chris said:
Sorry, but I have to chime in on this one, too…
.
NO CLIT PIERCING!!!
.
The last thing I want raking along my Magic Wand while I’m doing the Pleasure Plunge is a chunk of metal! Also, please, no nipple rings. I don’t want a chunk of metal in my mouth when I’m enjoying the Buds of Boobland, either.
On 07/25/08 at 7:32 am
Karri said:
Pleasure Plunge? Buds of Boobland?
.
NICE!
On 07/24/08 at 9:41 am
Carol said:
So, we are really sharing this today. What the hell. I had a tragic shaving accident almost three months ago. I’ve been bare ever since. NEVER thought I would prefer it, but I do. It helps that my baby fine blonde hairs don’t grow in overnight…but it does feel better while playing naked twister. And as for men, manscaping is the only way to go. Nothing says “Suck me, lick me and play with me” more than a great combination of finely shaved and closely cropped.
On 07/24/08 at 9:52 am
Karri said:
Yes, we’re really sharing this today. And a mighty fine job you did there my friend.
.
Thank goodness we aren’t playing “show and tell”…ha!
On 07/24/08 at 11:08 am
Carol said:
See, there is a photoshop idea. Hair…cropped or not? And show how a cock looks with different “do’s”.
On 07/24/08 at 11:52 am
Jime said:
Lol, brilliant.
On 07/24/08 at 11:55 am
Karri said:
GAWD, I wish we could show that on thestream, but no can do. Phooey!
On 07/24/08 at 10:02 am
Trunks Kirshner said:
The American college student can only hope for brazillian wax -
the classroom is the place to try and see the forest for the trees -
not the bedroom
On 07/24/08 at 11:56 am
Karri said:
You’re a smart man, Trunks! That education is paying off in more ways than one.
On 07/24/08 at 11:24 am
Meghan said:
Even though I am on the bare band wagon, I will say it can be a pain in the ass. Especially without the excellent wax tech. You are rushing around the house trying to find your shoes while putting on mascara and think ‘Oh shit! - I forgot!’
It can be a bit of a get ready routine buster, but I still think it’s worth it. It does take a little commitment.
Who says I’m a commitment phobe?!!
On 07/24/08 at 11:56 am
Karri said:
I’m sorry, I got stuck on “pain in the ass”…ha!
On 07/24/08 at 1:15 pm
the russiann said:
personally, i have no problem having a “bush” i do feel however that we need to maintain it… ie trim, shampoo and what the fuck comb it out if you want.
but i also love the landing strip, but lets be honest shaving your snatch every other day leads to pain and misery.
JUST an opinion :]
On 07/24/08 at 1:53 pm
Karri said:
Hold on! You won’t have hair on your arms, but you’ll have a bush down below?!
.
You confuse me!
On 07/24/08 at 2:04 pm
therussiann said:
precisely. hair does NOT belong on your arms.
hair on the pussy is fair game.
like they say “grass on the field, than play ball”
i feel a real woman can pull that bush off.