Trials of the Sexy Dial
March 24, 2008 · Print This Article
Many a man has questioned my hesitation towards the act of phone sex. I cannot help it, it makes me frightfully nervous and the truth of the matter is I have a valid explanation. One which has absolutely nothing to do with the embarrassing story I am about to recount.
Really.
She sat at the edge of her bed, clutching her cordless phone in one hand, while biting the nails on the other. She smoothed her hair anxiously several times and then dialed the number quickly, fearing she was about to lose her nerve.
“Lo?” she heard through the crackling line.
“Hey, it’s me,” she said in her best sex kitten-like voice.
“This connection is bad…” he said. “Wha…”
“Just let me do this, I’m really nervous here,” she stammered. “I…I’m naked.”
“Okay.”
That was not was he was supposed to say! Well, perhaps he is nervous too.
“I’m touching my breasts, and thinking about how nice it would feel to have your mouth on them, biting, licking, sucking…”
“Really.”
Okay, he was supposed to play along, what the hell is he doing?
“I’m running my hands all over my body, imagining they’re your hands. Oh, god…it feels so goood…”
“No shit?”
Damn, he really wasn’t giving her much to work with here. Still, she was no quitter.
“Are you touching yourself too?”
“Uh huh.”
Well, at least he was playing along for that part. Of course. Pft, men. Well, no turning back now!
“My legs are spread apart, and I am touching myself, ooohh so softly…mmmm…it feels good…”
The crackling on the line is getting annoying fast. It was getting hard to focus on the task at hand.
“Mmm. I’m so excited, I’m getting really we…wait, I’m sorry babe, the crackling is too distracting, I am going to call you right back. Keep going for me, okay?”
“Wait! Little lady, I don’t…”
But she had hung up before he could finish; all that static was going to give her a damn headache. She redialed his number and spread herself out on her bed again and pondered for a moment on the fact that he had just called her “little lady.” That was weird…perhaps role play or something? But she had but a moment to wonder and then he was on the line.
“Hello?”
“Hi,” She breathed. “Ready to resume?”
“Resume? You can’t start it like that, babe! And what took you so long? I’ve been sitting here in bed, junior in hand, waiting for you for 15 minutes! Christ!”
Oops. THAT’S awkward…
Don’t leave me hanging, guys and girls. Anyone out there have any embarrassing phone sex stories like my, ummmm, friend there? It’s share time!
On 03/24/08 at 5:11 am
PrincessQ said:
Not embarrassing…I’ve only had phone sex once and it was an awesome experience…lol
This was funny though =P
On 03/24/08 at 5:20 am
Trista said:
You’ve only done it once and it was awesome? Nothing goofy or embarrassing happened on your first shot out the gate? That is so unfair! =P
On 03/24/08 at 5:42 am
PrincessQ said:
Well, thats only because it wasn’t really planned…and it was with someone that I felt SO comfortable with. I wrote about it in a blog last week but deleted it. If you want, I can link you to the erotic story I wrote based on it =P
On 03/24/08 at 10:01 am
Trista said:
I’m glad your story is erotic, mine is material for one of those horrible “embarrassing stories” columns in a chick-mag.
On 03/24/08 at 5:35 am
Cassie said:
HAHAHAHA
yeah, something similar!! VERY similar!!!
On 03/24/08 at 5:40 am
Trista said:
Really? Do share.
On 03/24/08 at 5:43 am
PrincessQ said:
Yeah Cassie, DO SHARE!
On 03/24/08 at 5:46 am
Cassie said:
I ended up calling a friend’s boyfriend instead of the guy I was ’seeing’. It was REALLY fucked up and I was REALLY embarrassed about the whole thing!!! I only had his number on my phone b/c she had used it to call him earlier that night….AND it was similar to the guy I was ’seeing’.
Her boyfriend liked me a whole lot better after that!!! hahahahahah
LMAO…but it is funny now!!!! LOL
On 03/24/08 at 5:56 am
Trista said:
oooooohhhhhhhh shit! That is too funny. Was your friend upset with you?
On 03/24/08 at 6:06 am
Cassie said:
yeah…she quit talking to me!!! OH WELL!!! hehehehe
On 03/24/08 at 10:02 am
Trista said:
Some people have no sense of humor, I swear…
On 03/24/08 at 6:28 am
Balancing Good & Evil Daily said:
I don’t do phone sex. Due to problems of her mom answering while waiting for her boyfriend to call for the same thing!
On 03/24/08 at 6:32 am
Trista said:
Wait, mother and daughter living together were waiting for sexy phone time at the same time?? Separate phone lines, people!
On 03/24/08 at 9:53 am
Balancing Good & Evil Daily said:
Tell me about it! Sad thing was, I didn’t realize it was her mom. We went at it for about 40 minutes. Later that night, when I went over to pick her up she was pissed. “Why didn’t you call?” That was about as good as it went.
On 03/24/08 at 10:03 am
Trista said:
Ohhhhhhh damn! Hahahahahahahahahahaaaha!
And seriously, 40 minutes? Wowza…that’s a serious session right there.
On 03/24/08 at 10:03 am
Trista said:
Wait, so who gave better phone, mother or daughter??
On 03/25/08 at 6:28 am
Balancing Good & Evil Daily said:
Mom was a whole lot less inhibited. Wish that one could have happened again, but they moved to Virginia a few months later.
On 03/24/08 at 6:41 am
mai said:
i don’t have one
On 03/24/08 at 6:42 am
Trista said:
No phone sex escapades for you?
On 03/24/08 at 6:44 am
mai said:
this is embarrassing but not too long ago i was having phone sex and well when i was about to finish i think my ear hung up the phone sooooo i never got to finish with the call. I called back and the good time was gone.
On 03/24/08 at 6:47 am
Trista said:
Awww, that’s just sad. =(
On 03/24/08 at 6:51 am
mai said:
i know that’s my sex life.
On 03/24/08 at 11:32 am
Rex said:
*clutches Mai’s hand after revelation like we’re in a group therapy circle of trust*
…it’s OK …you’re among friends …we know
On 03/24/08 at 11:34 am
Trista said:
We ARE in a group therapy circle of trust…aren’t we?!
AREN’T WE???
On 03/24/08 at 11:41 am
Rex said:
Yeah.
But you’re not holding my hand.
Sexaholics Anonymous is down the hall. This is Sexual Dysfunctions NO MORE!…
On 03/24/08 at 6:45 am
mai said:
wait i should read before i post i meant to say “this isn’t embarrassing” sorry T i’m a bit sleepy early shift at work.
On 03/24/08 at 7:49 am
Kat said:
OMG! I did not know about this site!
LOL I had a guy I was semi seeing that used to initiate the phone sex, it was OK. Not a very good inagination. I was working 2 jobs at the time & would just about fall asleep on him. He thought he was so great at this, very boring.
I insisted with another ex b/f several yrs ago to have phone sex, different guy, I had to do all the initiating, he was terrible at this, talk about frustrating. So it doesn’t quite work with me, guys think they have it going on with words when in my experience a FEW times, they just don’t have the imagination for it. I have to prompt them in words. They thoroughly enjoyed it, myself not so much.
I am the one who seems to be the initiater, the lets do it right here, right now, in public.
Guys you talk the walk but you don’t come through, at least in my own world.
On 03/24/08 at 8:32 am
Trista said:
If you are going to initiate, you should be able to play along, or lead, even. Men.
On 03/24/08 at 8:15 am
Sarahh said:
Phone sex. Hmmm…
Yeah, I have done it. But only recently. Long distance relationships kinda demand it. I enjoyed it but the first time, I may have sounded like a pro but the whole time thought,
I sound like a retard. There is no way this could possibly turn anyone on.
And the biggest ICK to phone sex? The call waiting. Kills the mood EVERY Time.
“Oh yeah, I like it when you touch me right there. You know how I like it. Oh yeah.. yeah.. CLICK. Oh that is my mom hold one sec….
On 03/24/08 at 8:31 am
Trista said:
Call waiting is bad, and so is a dying cell phone, or ehm, a cell phone that drops calls continually. Happens every time, cell phones hate me.
On 03/24/08 at 8:46 am
Sarahh said:
Hahaha, I think it just hates Vic. At least that is what he says..
Oh and the dying phone IS the worst. I totally forgot about that. Hence why I got the blue tooth.
On 03/24/08 at 8:58 am
Trista said:
It does hate him the most. =P
But yeah, if you have to call back, chances are the mood has been killed.
And blue tooth is good for the hands free during this activity as well…just sayin.
On 03/24/08 at 10:05 am
Sarahh said:
Oh and one last thing.
The phone in the picture has a sticker that says…
“MONA BONA”
That is all.
Bwahahahaha
On 03/24/08 at 11:56 am
Rex said:
At least this bit of info isn’t as bad as what Vic told me long ago. I’ve never been able to eat dessert the same way since…
On 03/24/08 at 12:00 pm
Trista said:
Oh, what??!
On 03/24/08 at 12:04 pm
Rex said:
Ask Sarah(x hhhhhhh)! Classify it under ‘Girl Talk’ so you’re legally protected from admitting the information to men at any time… haha
On 03/24/08 at 8:37 am
PJ said:
Yeah, so, um, no way in hell would I do the phone sex thing. I just don’t see it. Some people like whips and chains, some people like computers, some people like phones, and I know it’s hard to believe, but some people like to actually be in the same room as the person they’re having sex with. I’m part of the last group.
On 03/24/08 at 8:52 am
Trista said:
I agree whole heartedly, but what if you can’t be in the room with them? Say you are going to be separated for an extended period of time from your significant other? Not even then will you cross over?
On 03/24/08 at 9:18 am
PJ said:
I travel for work. Usually it’s never for more than a few days, but the longest so far was two weeks in England. Never was I even tempted to pick up the phone and call J for a little conversational hanky panky. Call me a jerk all you want, but if things got desperate I would’ve headed to the bar to pick up some help instead of the phone booth.
On 03/24/08 at 9:31 am
Trista said:
“Call me a jerk all you want, but if things got desperate I would’ve headed to the bar to pick up some help instead of the phone booth.”
~WOW. I am without words…
On 03/24/08 at 1:39 pm
PJ said:
It sounds worse than it actually is. I’m not that bad.
On 03/24/08 at 2:28 pm
Kevin said:
Wait… so you’ll cheat.. before you have phone sex?? O.o
On 03/24/08 at 8:52 am
Trish said:
I wouldn’t exactly call it phone sex the way everyone else does it, but my friend and I would call each other up (multiple, multiple times hehe) and would tell each other what we were doing but would basically moan the whole time, for us it was awesome…even better was when he would video it for me and let me listen too and then he’d send it to me after. Now THAT was good hehe
On 03/24/08 at 8:57 am
Trista said:
Sounds like phone sex to me! But the video part, that’s a bonus.
On 03/24/08 at 9:01 am
Trish said:
Oh the video definitely was a bonus…so were the pictures he used to send me and time he went on cam too hehe
On 03/24/08 at 9:07 am
Trista said:
Did you two crazy kids ever take it into the real world?
On 03/24/08 at 9:21 am
Trish said:
Um believe it or not…we don’t actually know each other. I know you’ll think its crazy esp after reading that other blog about that girl who knew the guy for 6 months and never having met lol, but we’ve known each other for just over two years.
On 03/24/08 at 9:26 am
Karri said:
HA! It appears I’m not the only one with a FBF (faux boyfriend).
On 03/24/08 at 9:32 am
Trista said:
Well, you’ve seen him, even if it wasn’t face to face, so…at least you know he isn’t a basement dweller. Right, Karri?
On 03/24/08 at 10:13 am
Karri said:
Webcam, what?
On 03/24/08 at 11:20 am
Trish said:
he used to go on webcam for me and occasionally if he was lucky, I’d go on for him
On 03/24/08 at 1:54 pm
Karri said:
My FBF likes to do naked jumping jacks, now that’s just fun and good times right there. Not very sexy, but highly entertaining!
On 03/24/08 at 2:04 pm
Trista said:
I saw a naked jogger once…NOT at all attractive.
On 03/24/08 at 9:28 am
SweetNess! said:
Hey! Call me! Call me!!! I’ll phone sex ya!
On 03/24/08 at 9:33 am
Trista said:
I bet you would…crazy lady.
On 03/24/08 at 11:34 am
Rex said:
CONFERENCE CALL!
Let’s double-team this prude.
On 03/24/08 at 12:49 pm
Trista said:
A tag team from two of my long term stalk, errr, I mean SUPPORTERS? I’m in!
On 03/24/08 at 1:42 pm
Rex said:
No no… I’M in.
On 03/24/08 at 9:37 am
Trish said:
Yea well this was a while ago, but we are still (almost) bestest friends lol he now has a gf and me being foolish? still hope to meet him SOON!?
On 03/24/08 at 10:04 am
Trista said:
Yeah, well…I wouldn’t hold my breath if I were you.
On 03/24/08 at 11:25 am
Rex said:
I was seduced (over the phone) by an older lady.
The concept of phone sex to me was weird and very much pointless a couple years ago. However, this slut (don’t worry… she loved to be called that) lured me to the Dark Side of Telecommunications. And you know what? The student became the master not long after.
The first time definitely was awkward. I didn’t know what to say exactly, so she lead most of the way. Which I believe is good as it’s almost like REAL sex in this sense: knowing the precise things that turn a woman on. It’s even harder over the phone because you really have to listen. heh
On 03/24/08 at 11:33 am
Trista said:
You have the perfect voice for the gig, just sayin.
On 03/24/08 at 11:38 am
Rex said:
You’re too kind.
…Don’t inflate my ego! I might construe this as a green light to call you one random night at 11:11pm. Coincidentally, that’s around the same time your bobbleheaded self danced for me in that JibJab video…
On 03/24/08 at 11:56 am
Trista said:
Heh…I love that video.
On 03/24/08 at 12:00 pm
Rex said:
I love that video too.
*watching it for the 37th time*
On 03/24/08 at 11:42 am
Tori said:
I can’t do phone sex. I just feel profoundly embarrassed by the whole idea. I am not very good at dirty talk in person, let alone when I can’t even see the other person.
On the other hand, I’m excellent at saying “Hi, I need some sex, come over now.”
On 03/24/08 at 11:59 am
Trista said:
“I am not very good at dirty talk in person, let alone when I can’t even see the other person.”
Yeah, I’m not the greatest either. I can make noise a plenty in bed, but it’s mostly unintelligible.
On 03/24/08 at 12:01 pm
Rex said:
OK, I SO am calling you now just to hear your gibberish.
On 03/24/08 at 1:06 pm
Tori said:
Mine is generally along the lines of “ohmygodfuckshitohmygodrabblerabblerabble”. Unless it’s “baby, just choke me!” I scared my boyfriend the first time I told him to hit me (like in the face). Ha.
It’s hot.
On 03/24/08 at 1:34 pm
PJ said:
“rabblerabblerabble” -who are you, the hamburglar?
On 03/25/08 at 11:36 am
Tori said:
Listen here, PJ McCheaterson, yes. Rabblerabblerabble.
On 03/24/08 at 1:35 pm
Trista said:
You are like my sista from another mother!
I don’t know if I am comforted by the similarities or frightened. Perhaps both.
On 03/24/08 at 12:08 pm
Hater Numero Uno said:
Ill!!!! You had sex with a phone!!?!?!?
On 03/24/08 at 12:09 pm
Rex said:
And HOW!
On 03/24/08 at 12:48 pm
Trista said:
Bow-chicka-wow-wow!