When tears turn to stone
March 18, 2008 · Print This Article
“I have no enthusiasm to visit the houses of the people; nor have I any disinclination to do the same. I do not care for the brick and mortar structures in which you live; I care to visit and reside in your hearts.” ~ Sri Sathya Sai Baba
We each have our own modus operandi of self-preservation; some choose to retreat and avoid, while others add layer after layer of brick and mortar in order to ward off the Big Bad Wolves that come knocking on our doors.
Ah, wouldn’t it be lovely if we allowed our lives to be as uncomplicated and simple as a fairy tale? Unfortunately, somewhere along the path of growing older and growing-up, we lose the innocence of youth. Long gone are the easy-breezy days when our most difficult choices to make were between peanut butter and jelly or grilled cheese, tree house or tree swing, Ken or Barbie.
Now that we’ve made a few or more trips around the solar system we often find ourselves inundated with life altering decisions that ultimately determine our future actions and reactions. As we navigate through the twists and turns of our journeys we experience triumphs and tragedies; each encounter playing an influential part in our subsequent thought processes.
In lies the aftermath of life lessons; fragmented moments in time that manifest themselves one brick at a time culminating in an isolated fortress of protection. But what happens when we exert so much effort refuting potential agony that our souls become numb? When our tears turn to stone.
It’s a perilous place to inhabit once we’ve cast our feelings off into the abyss. Even moments of delight and grandeur are diminished by the shell of an existence. All is not lost however, each day brings a new horizon of possibilities to embrace the extraordinary…allowing peace and love to unabashedly fill in the empty spaces and grow wildly amongst the thorns.
On 03/18/08 at 6:48 am
Cassie said:
Couldn’t agree with you more!
Y’all writing college papers or something? all those big words!!! hahahahahahaha
On 03/18/08 at 8:12 am
Sarahh said:
Bwahahaha… That just made me GOL.
On 03/18/08 at 8:20 am
Karri said:
I thought you might, thanks darlin’!
Oh, and yes, one of us is working on her degree, but it’s not me
On 03/18/08 at 8:59 am
Kelly said:
I think I’ll stick with the stone for now, at least in some areas of life. Much simpler than those vines and thorns etc.
xoxo
On 03/18/08 at 9:27 am
Karri said:
I waffle…one moment I’m grateful, the next I wish I had a bulldozer. My real fear is turning into a bitter, jaded old woman with 10 cats!
On 03/18/08 at 9:36 am
Trista said:
Karri, this will never happen. You’re a dog person!
On 03/18/08 at 9:42 am
Karri said:
Because dogs have bigger tongues!
On 03/18/08 at 10:09 am
Rex said:
…i can see you in an aisle picking up jars of peanut butter RIGHT NOW!
On 03/18/08 at 10:14 am
Hater Numero Uno said:
I threw up a little bit.
On 03/18/08 at 10:18 am
Rex said:
Don’t lookit me. Blame the whitegurls!
On 03/18/08 at 10:22 am
Karri said:
And you thought I meant peanut butter and jelly sandwiches…silly kids!
On 03/18/08 at 11:20 am
Trista said:
We once had a three-way sleepover at Karri’s and by we I mean Karri, me and her dog.
I got totally ignored while they made out though. Threesomes are sooooo overrated.
On 03/18/08 at 12:33 pm
Hater Numero Uno said:
Didn’t I just say yesterday I love animals? I meant in the healthy, not molesting them way. And Rex you are forgiven.
On 03/18/08 at 2:19 pm
Karri said:
Do NOT let her fool you, my little Lilly has a fetish for Trista’s feet (and other non-mentionables)and she likes it, a lot!
On 03/18/08 at 5:17 pm
Hater Numero Uno said:
Ok you gals are seriously scaring me now. You will force me to regail you with jokes I save for drinking with the boys! Trust me you don’t wanna hear em!
On 03/18/08 at 7:41 pm
Karri said:
Don’t be scurred. We don’t bite…much.
On 03/19/08 at 5:08 pm
Carol said:
OMG…you just said EXACTLY what I was thinking!
Thought provoking, even for the bulldozer mentality I often embrace to knock walls down.
On 03/18/08 at 9:07 am
PJ said:
I’m on the fence here. As much as I’d like to blame people in my past for the walls around me, I know that I can knock them down anytime I want. There’s a quote to explain it, but I’m not sure this is right: “once you know better, there’s no excuse for not doing better.”
On 03/18/08 at 9:29 am
Karri said:
Absolutely, we have no one to blame but ourselves. Here’s another one for you: “sometimes we don’t put walls up to keep people out, but rather to see who will knock them down.” Or something like that.
On 03/18/08 at 9:50 am
Rex said:
You make great points; I’ve known people of folks (can’t officially call them “clients” as I’m not an accredited therapist blahblahblah) and many have serious chips on their shoulders that can’t brush off no matter how badly they’d love to. They’d love to start anew and look at the world in a new light, but that one event overtakes everything.
Eventually that chip becomes the foundation to their wall… where for some it becomes a heavily fortified castle complete with a moat! Maybe a line of archers as well. hm. Definitely some catapults to chuck barbs and insults at those who don’t deserve them.
As for me, I don’t have a metaphorical stone structure so much as a confusing hedge maze. One minute, a person thinks they know me and then BAM. You gotta start from square one again. The test is seeing how long one can last until they can reach the middle of maze.
On 03/18/08 at 10:24 am
Karri said:
“They’d love to start anew and look at the world in a new light, but that one event overtakes everything.
Eventually that chip becomes the foundation to their wall… where for some it becomes a heavily fortified castle complete with a moat!”
UGHH!!! What, did you find my deleted version of this blog???
On 03/18/08 at 10:55 am
Rex said:
More likely YOU scanned MY mind to write today’s …blog? …entry? What are these called here anyways? No matter. I’m still stuck with the peanut butter. NO PUN INTENDED (this time).
On 03/18/08 at 2:20 pm
Karri said:
What are these called? I haven’t a clue. Ask the boss woman.
On 03/18/08 at 9:51 am
Rex said:
I need to stop drinking in the mornings. Errors galore.
On 03/18/08 at 2:22 pm
Karri said:
Please don’t, we like you drunk and …errrr…easy?
On 03/18/08 at 8:37 pm
Chris said:
Karri, you don’t need to get me drunk to take advantage of me.
On 03/18/08 at 10:26 am
Hater Numero Uno said:
My wall was made of stoicism. you should’ve seen women run in fear as they realized I’m an uncharismatic borg. Sure you don’t have to worry about me flying off the hinges because you spent too much on shoes and make-up, but you’ll also get an unenthusiatic whopee if you win the lottery. To me passion is over rated. It is one of the most fleeting and fickle of emotions. The passion you had as a teen may waiver as years pass. I’ve since changed, I’m more caring and forgiving. But I still have my moments when I just say blah. And I’ve been known to say insensitive things. Like last weekend, I’m getting a LOT of love for just being from California. I was asked to say beh beh for the millionth time and I kinda sorta made an imbred joke/jab. Needless to say I got even more love after that, but from the REALLY drunk women.
On 03/18/08 at 2:22 pm
Karri said:
I’m quickly coming to realize that people respond much better to snarky rather than deep and thought provoking. You win!
On 03/18/08 at 5:13 pm
Hater Numero Uno said:
It sux because I don’t do snarky all that well. I’m much more cerebral then anything. Besides I’m not an attention whore. Most times I sit and think by myself. But for some reason, southern girls are very hospitable. To a freaking fault!
On 03/18/08 at 8:13 pm
Karri said:
Oh, ya…that attention whore thing most certainly gets in the way of snarkiness. Snarkiness? Is that even a word?
On 03/19/08 at 5:11 pm
Carol said:
I respond to thought provoking. I also respond to snarky.
On 03/19/08 at 6:04 pm
Karri said:
Because you are a woman of balance.
On 03/18/08 at 5:35 pm
Chris said:
“…Who would survive must learn a savage tongue.”
.
You layer on more armor (or build a thicker shell) every time you get hurt again. It takes either a very strong will to keep yourself from yielding to despair, or a caring heart in someone else to reach through that armor/shell and lay healing hands on your wounded heart, bringing you back to warmth and sunshine (with a tip of the hat to Carol)… else you end up filled with the emptiness of hate.
.
“And I have learned — and paid in days that ran
To bitter schooling. Love was lost in pains,
Hunger replaced the beauty in life’s plan,
Honor and virtue vanished with the rains
And faith in God dissolved with faith in man.
I have my hate! But nothing else remains.”
On 03/18/08 at 7:43 pm
Karri said:
EEEEWWWWW! I better find a pick and shovel quick, because emptiness and hate are not hawt!
On 03/18/08 at 8:24 pm
Chris said:
“So many ways love has none may appear
The bitter best, and none the sweetest worst;
Strange food the hungry have been known to bear,
And brackish water slakes an utter thirst.
It is a rare and tantalizing fruit
Our hands reach for, but nothing absolute.”
On 03/19/08 at 1:45 am
J-ho said:
I feel all warm and delicious now, thanks love!
On 03/19/08 at 6:03 pm
Karri said:
Because you ARE delicious!
Thanks for stopping by darlin’ I always love to see your…shadow?
On 08/26/08 at 5:43 am
Melanie said:
Thank you. I needed to read this today. Must choke out the thorns.