Not good enough, smart enough or wearing panties pretty enough…
June 24, 2008 · Print This Article
We’ve all heard the old adage “truth in jest” and the number of times we’ve either said or heard the words, “I’m just kidding” are countless. Now, certainly sarcasm has its place (especially around these parts) and some of us even revel in it, but every once in a while it is nothing more than thinly veiled criticism.
Speaking to and about others with respect and integrity is the foundation of our very being…the essence of our character. It’s a slippery slope…speaking, listening - communicating. While one person reveals their truth, the other bares the burden of attempting to not to take it personally. It’s a difficult concept to grasp that another’s interpretation is simply that…their reality. Their thoughts, opinions and judgments are based on their life experiences and belong solely to them.
I don’t know anyone (myself included) who hasn’t accidentally suffered from a case of Foot in Mouth disease on occasion, but a simple “I’m sorry” can usually cure the momentary ailment. Intentional insults on the other hand are unforgettable and will leave scars that linger long after the rug burns words have faded.
The myriad of reasons why anyone would ever feel compelled to criticize another are plentiful, yet rarely justified. If we don’t agree or abide by someone else’s Rules and Regulations (unless it directly effects our health or well-being), what’s the point in pointing it out? Most of us are our own worst enemies, clearly aware of our misgivings and shortcomings, the last thing we need is another critic.
Words, like fire flies, can either illuminate our darkest places or cause severe dizziness while watching them sputter and spin out of control.
It’s not all that difficult to be kind and generous with your compliments or to think twice before muttering phrases that could easily be left unsaid. Silence truly is a virtue. Remember what your Momma taught you…if you can’t say something nice, shut your mouth and go play in the street!
If you’re not absolutely positive that the woman in line behind you at the grocery store is pregnant, for the love of gawd, don’t ask her when she’s due. Or when your Knight in Shining Armor can’t fix the leaky sink, call a repair man rather than berating his less than handy-man skills. And lastly, if you don’t fancy your gals “period panties”… just be glad that you’re not the one with an oversized Q-tip shoved up one of your orifices!
Whatcha’ got, kids?
Heard it, said it…what’s the best of the best and the worst of the worst?
Ready, set, purge…
On 06/24/08 at 4:45 am
Sarahh said:
Oh yes. The words that cut.
I have had a lot spewed my way, and have spit a few out myself. We are all guilty.
When I was torn apart piece by piece by those of which will remain un named, I never realized the damage it did until someone liked me just the way I am.
Whoa, wait. So you like my butt? You think it is cute when I dance? My ears aren’t too big (Thanks to that HS boy who calld me Dumbo after track practice for that 20 year old scar)
You mean you love me as I am?
Whoa. Are you off your meds??
Hahaha… I try and remember how words have scarred me before I start spewing them out like razor blades.
I try…
On 06/24/08 at 6:01 am
Karri said:
“(Thanks to that HS boy who calld me Dumbo after track practice for that 20 year old scar)”…I have scar from that guy also, but my knees are fat…apparently. Jackass!
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I also have a scar from a razor blade…guess which one bothers me the most?
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Trying is doing your best, and that’s all any of us can do.
On 06/24/08 at 6:28 am
Sarahh said:
Ha! I also have a razorblade scar on my leg, and scarred up knees from my Rainbow Brite Skates.
And yet, the natural born normal ears, bother me…
I think being from a small town we are all catty to a degree. Some of us more than others. But there is a little in everyone.
Gossip is a national past time ’round here.
On 06/24/08 at 6:34 am
Karri said:
Embrace your ears my lovely…all the better to eavesdrop with.
On 06/24/08 at 7:00 am
Sarahh said:
Ha!
I like the way you think…
On 06/24/08 at 7:12 am
Kevin M. said:
I guess my giant noggin grew into my big ears. I can’t tell you how many “big ears” comments I got when I was little. But now… I’m the one to bring it up and I usually get, “What? Shut up. They’re not big.”
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Now… I’m proud of my little “handlebars”. They help her pull me in deeper when she feels the need.
On 06/24/08 at 7:15 am
Karri said:
At least you grew into your ears…I never grew boobs. Enough of those jokes, and a girl has no choice but to buy a pair.
On 06/24/08 at 7:43 am
PJ said:
Damn Kevin beat me to it. I call my big ears love handles as well.
On 06/24/08 at 7:47 am
Karri said:
PJ! Where ya been?
On 06/24/08 at 7:48 am
Kevin M. said:
Sorry, Peej. I’ll make it up to ya at the monthly meeting. Lol.
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And Kerri… um… not many people out there downloading pics of huge, glorious ears… and spankin’ it to them. Man, I’d be fuckin’ rich.
On 06/24/08 at 7:57 am
PJ said:
As would I.
Damn work. Last week I was in Iowa, Missouri, Oklahoma, and Texas. This week I’m back. Woo-Hoo!
On 06/24/08 at 8:01 am
Karri said:
Welcome home…you’ve been missed!
On 06/24/08 at 8:06 am
PJ said:
Aww. I’m all tingly.
On 06/24/08 at 8:37 am
Karri said:
Good! I might need the Karma points before this day is over.
On 06/24/08 at 4:55 am
~Lori~ said:
Words can hurt, even said in jest. Sometimes you can say something not meaning to hurt another, just jokingly, but if it is said repeatedly, makes it obvious that that you are zoning in on something that bothers you about that individual. Yet, (ever notice I like to look at both sides of the fence ;p), I know from personal experience, that sometimes, it’s not that anything is really wrong with you, it is the other person’s insecurities surfacing, the only way to for them to feel better about themselves is to put others down. Took me a long time to understand that, my ex used to do that to me all the time, it builds up after awhile and messes with your self esteem. I think the most interesting thing he used to say to me was, “why do you have to use big words? to make me feel stupid?”, that was never my intention, I just read alot, and it was part of me. Fact is we are all human, with flaws, imperfections, that is what makes us all so beautiful. Just do your best to think about what you say, and if it is taken the wrong way, then do your best to let the other know what you really meant. At the same time, if you feel that you have been slighted, speak up for yourself, don’t let anyone make you think your “less than”, because you are not.
Now I have to get ready to go catch a plane…
On 06/24/08 at 6:03 am
Karri said:
Brilliant words of wisdom, m’dear!
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Thank you and enjoy your vaca!
On 06/24/08 at 5:04 am
Carol said:
Oh, the power of words. We’ve talked about this so much that it brings me to a few key things. One, semantics. So many words have so many meanings. If someone does not know our heart clearly, our words, albeit chosen clearly, can often be mistaken. I believe there is frustration in that one, constantly. Two, I don’t think there is too much REAL sarcasm on Eve. If you look up the difference between SARCASM and FACETIOUS in Webster’s, you’ll understand my point. The whole point of sarcasm, true sarcasm, is to harm or malign another in some way. My personal belief is that MOST people say they are sarcastic, when what they TRULY are in their heart is just more playfully facetious. There is no intent to be malicious, only laugh! ****Yes, I am carefully avoiding some personal responses to any man who would be a jackass about period panties.*****
On 06/24/08 at 6:20 am
Karri said:
The power of words…brings back memories, doesn’t it? Positive, uplifting, encouraging words that truly Make a Difference! http://www.myspace.com/independentunity
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No matter how carefully chosen our words are it’s a given that there is always room for misinterpretations and misunderstandings, no matter what form of humor we’re exhibiting. The key however is realizing that if we are hurting someone in the process to not forge ahead, but rather retreat and freakin’ apologize!
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/rant
On 06/24/08 at 6:36 am
Carol said:
Holy shit…for a minute, I thought you linked the actual “POWER OF WORDS” blog. I just went there and ended up hitting “Back” in the blog section to get to it. Dammit, woman, don’t make me all nostalgic today! Yes…it brings back all kinds of wonderful memories. It won’t surprise you to know that Little Man made a comment about “mom, you always make things better than you found them”. Despite my original intention to leave it “as is”, as they bought my house for full price as is, his sweet voice left me feeling like I would be doing all of us a disservice by NOT doing the physical labor. I ended up doing close to twenty hours hours of yardwork to ensure the new owners will not have to do it. Why? Oh Why? I just have to do what I can to make a difference.
And yes, apologies are necessary…and they don’t really “count” unless they are genuine.
On 06/24/08 at 6:53 am
Karri said:
HA! Get out of my head, I almost did.
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We should all try to leave things better than we found them. As a matter of freakin’ fact I actually said, “Let’s try and not leave permanent scars of any kind, m’kay?”
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Hmmmm…premonition? GRRRRRRR!
On 06/24/08 at 7:07 am
Kevin M. said:
Of ANY kind?? But… she told me those spots on her knees and shoulders… and the cuff scars on her wrists MEANT something.
On 06/24/08 at 7:13 am
Karri said:
Where’s Jeremy to bite my tongue?
On 06/24/08 at 7:19 am
Carol said:
I am biting it for him. For you. For all Cambodian refugees everywhere with terrible wounds on their backs.
On 06/24/08 at 7:27 am
Karri said:
Funny, haha. Have you been talking to Big K? He likes to call me an Auschwitz survivor.
On 06/24/08 at 7:43 am
Kevin M. said:
Ok… NO biting of OWN tongues, here! Only others’!!
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And holy WTF?? Nice nickname. >.<
On 06/24/08 at 7:50 am
Karri said:
Yep, that was his reaction when he saw my pre-op photos. But again…timing and delivery with a huge dose of “baby, I love you no matter what”.
On 06/24/08 at 8:07 am
Kevin M. said:
Yeah… I’m sorry… but this doesn’t fall under the sarcasm OR facetious umbrella, imo. That’s just hurtful and mean. Period. Why the fuck would ANYONE…. EVER… say that??
On 06/24/08 at 8:26 am
Karri said:
I guess you had to have been there? ‘Cause it really was funny. Not that Auschwitz is funny of course, but the comment was.
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Here’s one I did not find humor in however…Me cooking new person dinner (ya..uh hu..me, cooking), new person makes flippant comment about something or another. I respond with, “I’m starting to wonder why you’re even hanging out with me.” New person says, “because I have nothing better to do.”
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NOT FUNNY…EVER!
On 06/24/08 at 8:48 am
Kevin M. said:
Holy shit. O.O
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However, I’ve said that to friends. I guess it does depend on who you say it to and how you say it. I could say it to you and you’d laugh… or slap me. Either way, I win.
On 06/24/08 at 8:55 am
Karri said:
You could say that to me and it’d be okay, but that’s because we haven’t seen each other naked…except for those pics you sent, and those don’t count.
On 06/24/08 at 12:42 pm
Kevin M. said:
Haha! You wish.
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No, seriously. You REALLY wish you had these pics.
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Oops… I mean… some pics… taken of me… um… sometime… or something.
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*slowly steps away from the computer*
On 06/24/08 at 12:46 pm
Karri said:
Get your naked ass back here!
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Karri@eve-101.com
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Go ahead…send away.
On 06/24/08 at 1:05 pm
Kevin M. said:
HAHAHA! Wow. Should I be flattered? Or should I start filling out the restraining order?
On 06/24/08 at 1:23 pm
Karri said:
HA! As if you would…file a restraining order that is.
On 06/24/08 at 2:05 pm
Kevin M. said:
You’re right. To borrow a line from Van Wilder… “Are you stalking me? …’Cause that would be super.”
On 06/24/08 at 5:09 am
Carol said:
Screw it, I just went online and pulled definitons for anyone who wants to give me shit today:
FACETIOUS:
1 : joking or jesting often inappropriately : waggish 2 : meant to be humorous or funny : not serious
SARCASM: [A] is stating the opposite of an intended meaning especially in order to sneeringly, slyly, jest or mock a person, situation or thing. It is strongly associated with irony, with some definitions classifying it as a type of verbal irony intended to insult or wound. Sarcasm can also be used in a humorous or jesting way depending on the intent of the person speaking.Sarcasm is most often used in a humorous manner, but can also express annoyance or anger.[8]
SENSE OF HUMOR (or, as I like to say, I sense of fucking humor!!!,you know, being FACETIOUS)
A sense of humour is the ability to experience humour, although the extent to which an individual will find something humorous depends on a host of variables, including geographical location, culture, maturity, level of education, intelligence, and context. For example, young children may possibly favour slapstick, such as Punch and Judy puppet shows or cartoons (e.g. Tom and Jerry). Satire may rely more on understanding the target of the humour, and thus tends to appeal to more mature audiences. Non-satirical humour can be specifically termed “recreational drollery”.[1][2]
On 06/24/08 at 6:22 am
Karri said:
HA!
Thank you, Merriam.
On 06/24/08 at 6:39 am
Carol said:
Call me Merriam. Atleast you wont’ be saying things to Lilly like, “Dammit Gi’g, please don’t shit on the floor!”. I just told a friend the other day how your dog was almost named Gigi. Speaking of which, where the hell are the new pics of your girl? I want to see how big she has gotten. You know, because I love to watch things grow. *snicker*
On 06/24/08 at 6:56 am
Karri said:
I shouldn’t be allowed to own cameras or cars…I can’t help but break them. Hence Lilly’s life is not properly being documented. I’m a bad Mom.
On 06/24/08 at 7:06 am
Kevin M. said:
Hey Merriam… where’s your picture been lately?
On 06/24/08 at 7:22 am
Carol said:
Somehow, it was lost with the computer failure. I can’t fix it! I’ve done everything I know…and I am the one *cough* who helped others put their face on here. And if you are going to call me Merriam, the least you can do is use words like capitulate or fornicate. Or something. Vocabularies turn me on…go figure!
On 06/24/08 at 7:42 am
Kevin M. said:
Hmm… after getting my laptop back online I didn’t have any issues. Have you been back to the gravatar site? Maybe it has to place a cookie or something. Go back there, re-select your avatar and try again. And what link were you using? I use the mybloglog link… but that has a totally different avatar, so that makes no difference.
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Can’t we just ditch this damn message board format already?? KEEEERRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!
On 06/24/08 at 7:46 am
Karri said:
Not when you spell my name wrong!
On 06/24/08 at 7:53 am
Kevin M. said:
See? No edit button. And my mind ALWAYS races way ahead of my mouth/fingers. Nothing I could do, here.
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You buyin’ that? Yeah… thought not. I’ll be in timeout.
On 06/24/08 at 8:22 am
Carol said:
I’ve been back to The Grav, as I like to call it. I’ve entered a URL directly…tried all my previous tricks to get it to work. What a shame, I have a lovely new photo and everything.
On 06/24/08 at 8:49 am
Kevin M. said:
Maybe your cookie settings are too high? Try allowing the gravatar site to place a cookie? Just thoughts…
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Sorry you’re having trouble.
On 06/24/08 at 8:51 am
Carol said:
*snort* Cookie settings…my brain was NOT on avatars!!! I just went again. I’ll figure it out. It’s what I do!
On 06/24/08 at 12:41 pm
Kevin M. said:
Have I mentioned how much I love cookies?? My settings are permanently set WAY too low. And I have no problem with that. Well… except for finding more cookies.
On 06/24/08 at 6:07 am
Cassie said:
I am the eternal jokester, but I do try to limit myself to non-harmful or hurtful pranks, smartassitness!!!
I don’t always succeed, but I do try!!!
On 06/24/08 at 6:32 am
Karri said:
At least you realize there is actually a line! And I know for a fact that if you needed to call someone out on their shit you wouldn’t bury it under “humor”.
On 06/24/08 at 6:51 am
Cassie said:
no…there is usually NOTHING funny about those situations!! LOL
On 06/24/08 at 6:13 am
lisaq said:
I’ve learned the hard way over the years that I have no filtering system in my head. What pops in there often pops right back out my mouth. It takes a constant awareness on my part not to let that happen. Anyone know where I can get an after market filtering system? Maybe a Brita for the brain kinda thing?
On 06/24/08 at 6:44 am
Karri said:
I’m right there with you…no filter = hard lessons. I just don’t particularly care to be someone’s teacher if you know what I’m sayin’.
On 06/24/08 at 7:04 am
Kevin M. said:
The “line” CERTAINLY exists. And there are tons of people out there who need to upgrade their “filters”. But what I love is once you’ve mastered where to draw the line, etc… it’s fun to see how drastically different the locations of that line can be depending on who you’re talking to, who is present, what events have or haven’t taken place lately, etc. While I am born and bred a total smartass, and have the hours of spankings in the principal’s office to prove it, I’ve also learned through MANY trials and errors what works, what’s acceptable… and maybe most importantly, what kind of people can handle it or not. The difference between what I can say to a stranger, what I can say to my parents (probably more than most, ’cause they’re the same way), and what I can say to my boys is sometimes LITERALLY light years away from each other. But that’s great, imo. I secretly enjoy the challenge of predicting where that line is with present company… test it… and adjust it. It truly is a science and an art form.
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Bottom line though… as a human being, you simply MUST respect that line. Lest you become the true douchebag that you are in everyone’s eyes.
On 06/24/08 at 7:10 am
Karri said:
I have some innate ability to only date men who enjoy a good chuckle at my expense. For some reason they enjoy my “reaction”. Whatever. Fine. But you’re spot on in the fact that there is an appropriate time and place for everything…timing is everything. So is having the ability to read your audience. If you’re met with a blank stare or teary eyes, it’s time to shut the fuck up!
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“Eventually” has arrived.
On 06/24/08 at 7:19 am
Kevin M. said:
See… that’s the part I hate. There truly are people out there that “get off” on laughing at someone’s expense. With me, it’s WAY more about just making that person laugh… making them smile. And I don’t get there by picking at something personal to them. No way. I mean… don’t get me wrong… that’s what I meant up there about what I can say to my guy friends. ANYTHING goes. And usually, the deeper it cuts, the funnier. But we’ve established that relationship. Totally understood. But almost anyone else in my life, and ESPECIALLY the women in my life.. no way. They deserve my respect, and I refuse to crush that trust. Sarcasm can be light or downright seething… but it’ll never get personal. And well, the reason for that is because you women remember EEVVVEEERRYYYYTTHHHIIINNNGGG. So if I fuck up, even a little bit… I’ll pay dearly, for years to come, no matter how innocent and well-intentioned the comment was. And yes… I now know my place in life.
On 06/24/08 at 7:24 am
Carol said:
Impressive. And Miss Karri used RESPECT as her song choice in my blog today. So, she must be totally in tune with you today. I dig what you said about not only making someone laugh, but making them smile. There is a difference.
On 06/24/08 at 7:37 am
Kevin M. said:
Absofreakinglutely. Sharing some side-splitting laughter makes for some lifelong memories. But watching you smile will melt my heart.
On 06/24/08 at 8:26 am
Carol said:
I dig the fact I make a lot of people smile in my life. Equally,I dig that I have those rare special few who also make me smile…For me, it’s not just any old smile which can melt my heart. Its only the smiles which I know are pure, genuine and kind of like “soul smiles”.
Yeah, I’ve been digging deep and philosophical for the past few days. I thought I was almost over with with cocktalk yesterday. Apparently, I am mushy-gushy. Shut it, Karri!!!
On 06/24/08 at 8:29 am
Karri said:
Again, with the soulful babble..Cripes, woman! I kid, I kid. I love it and you know it, I’m just still reeling in stench over here. But I thank you for making me find humor in it!
On 06/24/08 at 8:50 am
Kevin M. said:
Yeah… you knew what I meant. No casual smile is going to mean shit to me. We know the ones that matter.
On 06/24/08 at 8:55 am
Carol said:
You know I said the magic word, Kevin. CockTalk. It seems to always make Karri smile. I know exactly how to make her laugh on the phone, too. Sounds like her special tea is working overtime…maybe we could all donate to the Eve cause and buy her….some air freshener. Sure, that is what she needs. By the way, Lil, where the hell is that cock ring you promised me? I should have clarified, “throw the earring away, but dont’ forget to send me the cock ring!” ***NOTE***Carol does NOT have, nor has she EVER had a penis, or balls or any other manly man parts. Carol is 100% woman who simply has desire to experience the famous cock rings Karri had educated her about.
On 06/24/08 at 9:02 am
Karri said:
HOLY BEEJESUS, PEOPLE!
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For the record, the stench has nothing to do with my tea and everything to do with the Tilapia in my trash can. (which by the way I will never cook for another man again…I think it’s jinxed).
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I’ll order you one from tootimid.com
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Go take a look and let me know which one you want.
On 06/24/08 at 11:12 am
Carol said:
I was just kidding, honey. I wanted to make you laugh. Trust me, TooTimid will be getting a sweet little order from a chick in Tennessee once her house closes. I deserve a goody bag.
On 06/24/08 at 12:38 pm
Kevin M. said:
Wow. So much to comment on, here. LOL!
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Don’t hold your breath on Karri sending you anything in the mail, Carol. Or at least make her quadruple-check your zip code. Just sayin’….
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And Karri… who throws fish away in the garbage can?? Don’t they have disposals out there in Cali? And do NOT give up on cooking for a man. It may very well be most effective weapon to have. Well, from what I’ve heard, maybe your 2nd… or 3rd most effective weapon.
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Anyway, if you need some cooking tips, you have my digits. It can really be MUCH easier than you think. Just gotta go with the right plan of attack.
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Now I’m hungry.